眠らずば明日は来ず

4月10日（木）快晴

母は厚かましく、出しゃばりで、軽薄でした。田舎町の婦人会長を務めた時、チャリティー福引の「田舎の選挙」の景品が石鹸。その心は「アカがよく落ちる」。いつも文句ばかり並べていた父もこの時には言葉を失いました。女は度胸。妹が18歳で自死した時やせ衰えて般若信教を読む茫然自失状態の父を尻目に家を守り続けました。逆境に落ち込むのは男の性でしょうか？不安や苦悩は早く忘れるに限ります。嫌なことや困ったことがあると母はすぐに眠りました。現世享楽・他力本願。女は強し。ユミを見てもそう感じます。僕の楽観主義も母の影響です。

男は弱し

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My mother was cheeky, forward, and rattlebrained. When she was the chief of women’s society in local town, the prize in a charity lottery, “local town election” was a soap which meant “red will be removed”. My father who always complained about her could find nothing to say then. Women need confidence. She was protecting our family when my 18-year-old sister killed herself, while my father was stunned reading Hannya-sinkyo and becoming weak and emaciated. Is it a man’s nature to become depressive because of adversity? The best way is to forget angst and agony quickly. My mother always went to bed whenever she had some unpleasant or annoying things. The cause of enjoying life and reliance upon others, women are strong. I feel it when I see Yumi. My optimism deprives from my mother.

frailty, your name is man