(原文）
"....and then, What should we do about her?"
A man,who had an ugly look in his eyes asked other members. His name was Takashi. He was tall and thin, and had a red wavy hair.
"Well....She had known our face, so, we won't be able to let her go off here. I thought she was poor, but I couldn't find any good answer. We have no choice, we need to kill her, don't we? Sorry, cute lady! Ha-ha! You think so, don't you? Kenji?"
A beautiful woman with a finely chiseled nose, withe a cold -eyed and a cold smile on her lips said to a small and portly man wasw called Kenji. Her name was Kaori. She had a long black hair, She was a leader of this group. Kenji looked like little nervous.
"Kill...? Did they sai kill me?"
"Kaori....I don't want to kill her...."
Kenji said in a low voice as jumpy.
"What? did you say? Do you have any other idea? You and Takashi made a mistake , didn't you ?What do you think that will be happened on us, if she tips off the cops? Are you stupid? ...How do you think , Takashi?"
"Hummmmmmmm....I don't know how many days she will be able to live out, but she must die after a while, if we won't give her any food and water. I don't like to see blood. I don't want to get some blood stains on my shirt,too. Anyway, Why don't we check again our account if get some more money?"
"Ok, This time I'll go with Takashi. You, Keep a strict watch on her! You coward!"
Kaori said and went out with Takashi.
*************************************
(和訳）
「・・・で、この女どうするよ？」目つきの悪い、背の高い男が仲間に向かって言った。彼の名前はタカシ。背が高く、細身で赤いウェーブの掛かった髪をしている。
「そうねえ・・・顔見られたんだし、帰すわけにはいかないよね～。かわいそうだけど、私、他にいいアイデア思いつかないし、私たち選ぶ余地無いんじゃない？死んでもらうしかないんじゃない？ ごめんね～、かわいいお嬢ちゃん！あはは！ あんたもそう思うわよね？ケンジ。」
口元にうっすら笑いを浮かべながら、鼻筋の通った綺麗な顔立ちの冷たい目をした長い黒髪の女が、小柄で、やや太目のケンジと呼ばれる男に言った。彼女の名はカオリ。彼女がこのグループのリーダーだ。ケンジは少しオドオドしているように見えた。
”・・・殺す？殺すって言った？私を？”
「カオリ・・何も、殺さなくったって・・・。」ケンジが弱弱しい声でビクビクしながら言った。
「何よ？何てった？じゃあ、あんた何かいい案でもあるっての？そもそもケンジと、タカシがヘマするから、こうなったんでしょ？この子このまま帰して、警察に通報されでもしたら、どうなると思ってんのよ？ばかじゃないの？タカシはどうなのよ？」
「さあね。何日生きてられるか知らないけど、このまま何も食わせずに、ここにほおって置けば、そのうち死ぬんじゃない？オレ、血みるの好きじゃないんだよね。血でシャツが汚れてもいやだしね。それよか、また振り込まれてるかもよ？見に行こうぜ。」
「それも、そうね。今回は私がタカシと行くわ。ケンジ、あんたその子、しっかり見張っておきなさいよ。腰抜けちゃん！」そう言って、カオリとタカシは出て行った。
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（訂正後）
"....and then, What should we do about her?"
A man, who had an ugly look in his eyes, asked the other members.His name was Takashi. He was tall, thin, and had a red wavy hair.
"Well..She knows our faces,so,we won't be able to let her go. I thought she was poor, but I couldn't find any good answer.We have no choice, we need to kill her, don't we? Sorry, cute lady! Ha-ha! You think so, don't you? Kenji?!"
A beautiful woman with a finely chiseled nose,cold-eyes, and a cold smile on her lips talked to a small, Plrly man named Kenji. Her name was Kaori. She had a long black hair. She was the leader of this group. Kenji looked a little nervous.
"Kill...? Did they say kill, me?"
"Kaori...I don't want to kill her..."
Kenji said in a low and jumpy voice.
"What? What did you say? Do you have any other great idea? You and Takashi made a mistake, didn't you? What do you think will happen to us, if she tips off the cops? Are you stupid? ...What do you think, Takashi?"
"Hummmmmmmmm...I don't know how many days she will be able to survive, but she will die after a while, if we don't give her any food and water. I don't like to see blood. I don't want to get any blood stains on my shirt,either. Anyway, Why don't we check our account again see if we got some more money?"
"Ok,This time I'll go with Takashi, You, Keep a close watch on her! You coward!"
Kaori said and went out with Takashi.
************************************::
(補足・感想）
aとtheを結構直された。また文章を分かりやすく区切るために「,」を沢山付けられた。
よく注意されるのがsayとtalkの間違い。ケアレスミスも沢山あった。まだまだ道のりは長い・・
お気に召しましたら、是非是非ぽちっと♪押してくださいまし～。
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よくぞ思い出してくれました。旦那さまに感謝！
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