The Umbrella Man（Text)

上級スピーチ（朗読）の原稿全文です。


Have you ever seen the movies of “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” or “You Only Live Twice”. These screenplays were written by a British novelist named Roald Dahl. He was also a short story writer. And his short stories are known for their unexpected endings, often very dark humor. Tonight, let’s enjoy one of his completely unexpected tales titled “ The Umbrella Man”
It begins with the introduction of characters and situation.
I am gong to tell you a funny thing that happened to my mother and me yesterday evening. I am twelve years old and I’m a girl. My mother is thirty four but I am nearly as tall as her already.


Yesterday afternoon, my mother took me up to London to see the dentist. After that, we went to a café. By the time we got up to leave, it was about six o’clock. When we came out of the café it had started to rain.
“We must get a taxi” my mother said. We were wearing ordinary hats and coats , and it was raining quite hard.
We stood on the pavement in the rain, looking for a taxi. Lots of them came by but they all had passengers inside them.
Just then, a man came up to us. He was a small man and he was pretty old, probably seventy or more. He raised his hat politely and said to my mother, “Excuse me, I do hope you will excuse me …”
He was sheltering under an umbrella which he held high over his head.
Then conversation between my mother and this gentleman starts.
“Yes?” my mother said, very cool and distant.
“I wonder if I could ask a small favor of you. It is only a very small favor.”
I saw my mother looking at him suspiciously. She is a suspicious person, my mother. She is especially suspicious of strange men. With strange men she has a golden rule which says, “The nicer the man seems to be, the more suspicious you must become.” This little old man was particularly nice. He was polite. He was well-spoken. He was well-dressed. He was a real gentleman.
“I beg you to believe, madam, that I am not in the habit of stopping ladies in the street and telling them my troubles”
“I should hope not.”
I felt quite embarrassed by my mothers sharpness. I wanted to say to her, ”oh, mummy, for heaven’s sake, he is a very very old man ,and he ‘s sweet and polite. And he’s in some sort of trouble , so don’t be so beastly to him.” But I didn’t say anything.
“I’ve never forgotten it before”
“ You’ve never forgotten what?”
“My wallet. I must have left it in my other jacket. Isn’t that the silliest thing to do?”
“ Are you asking me to give you money?”
“Oh, good gracious me, no! Heaven forbid I should ever do that!”
“Then what are you asking? Do hurry up. We are getting soaked to the skin standing here.”
“I know you are. And that is why I am offering you this umbrella of mine to protect you, and to keep forever, if…if only…”
“If only what?”
“If only you would give me in return a pound for my taxi-fare just to get home.”
“If you had no money in the first place, then how did you get here?”
“I walked. Everyday I go for a lovely long walk and then I summon a taxi to take me home.”
“Why don’t you walk home now?”
“Oh I wish I could. I do wish I could. But I don’t think I could manage it on these silly old legs of mine. I’ve gone too far already.”
“It’s a lovely umbrella.”
“So I’ve noticed.”
“It’s silk.”
“I can see that.”
“Then why don’t you take it, madam. It cost me over twenty pounds, I promise you. But that ‘s of no importance so long as I can get home and rest these old legs of mine.”
Now listen, mummy, I was telling her, you simply mustn’t take advantage of a tired old man in this way. It’s a rotten thing to do.
“I don’t think it ‘s quite right that I should take a silk umbrella from you worth twenty pounds. I think I’d just better give you the taxi-fare and be done with it.”
“ No, no, no! it’s out of question. I wouldn’t dream of it! Not in a million years! I would never accept money from you like that! Take the umbrella , dear lady and keep the rain off your shoulders!”
She fished into her purse and took out of a pound note. She held it out to the little man. He took it and handed her umbrella.
“Thank you, madam, thank you.” Then he was gone.
“Come under here and keep dry darling. Aren’t we lucky. I’ve never had a silk umbrella before, I couldn’t afford it.”
“Why were you so horrid to him in the beginning?”
“I wanted to satisfy myself he wasn’t a trickster. And I did. He was a gentleman. I’m very pleased I was able to help him.”
“Yes, mummy.”
“This will be a good lesson to you. Never rush things. Always take your time when you are summing someone up. Then you’ll never make mistakes.”
The story goes to an unexpected ending when the twelve year girl find this little gentleman crossing the street dodging nimbly in and out of the traffic.
“He doen’t look very tired to me, does he to you, mummy? He doen’t look as though he ‘s trying to get a taxi, either”
“He’s up to something,”
“But what?”
“I don’t know. But I am going to find out. Come with me”
She took my arm and we crossed the street together.
They followed the man and finally saw him go into a pub. They observed him through the pub window from outside.
He was now without his hat or coat, and he was edging his way through the crowd towards the bar. When he reached it, he placed both hands on the bar and spoke to the barman. The barman turned away from him for a few seconds and came back with a small tumbler filled to the brim with light brown liquid. The little man placed a pound note on the counter.
“What’s in the glass?” I asked.
“Whisky. Neat whisky. That must be a treble whisky.”
“ What’s a treble?”
“Three times the normal measure”
The little man picked up the glass and put it to his lips. He tilted it gently. Then he tilted it higher … and higher…and higher…
“That was a jolly expensive drink.”
“It’s ridiculous! Fancy paying a pound for something you swallow in one go!”
Slowly, he turned away from the bar and edged back through the crowd to where his hat and coat were hanging. He put on his hat. He put on his coat. Then, in a manner so superbly cool and casual that you hardly noticed anything at all, he lifted from the coat-rack one of the many wet umbrellas hanging there, and off went.
“Did you see that! Did you see what he did!”
“So that’s his little game!”
“Neat. Super.”