05/31/2014
Eric Ravenscraft
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How to Read Body Language More Effectively
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Eric Ravenscraft
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Eric Ravenscraft
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PSYCHOLOGY
BODY LANGUAGE
5/07/14 10:00am
Body language is a huge part of how we communicate with other people. However, most of us only have an intuitive knowledge of non-verbal communication at best. Fortunately, if reading body language doesn't come naturally to you, or if you'd simply like to get better at it, there's a huge body of work that details what the body is really saying.P
Read Body Language Through the Comfort/Discomfort LensP
For a lot of people, diving into the world of body language elicits the same reaction: "At last, I'll learn how to be a human lie detector!" It's hard to blame anyone for the impulse. However, contrary to what Cal Lightman would like us to believe, you can't tell exactly how a person is feeling just because their lip twitched or they crossed their arms. What you can do is gauge how much a person is comfortable. This comfort/discomfort spectrum is far more important than trying to identify a specific expression or guessing a particular thought in someone's head.P
As Joe Navarro―a former FBI interrogator and expert in body language analysis and research―explains in his book What Every BODY is Saying:P
What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People
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Those who are lying or are guilty and must carry the knowledge of their lies and/or crimes with them find it difficult to achieve comfort, and their tension and distress may be readily observed. Attempting to disguise their guilt or deception places a very distressing cognitive load on them as they struggle to fabricate answers to what would otherwise be simple questions (DePaulo et al., 1985, 323–370). The more comfortable a person is when speaking with us, the easier it will be to detect the critical nonverbals of discomfort associated with deception. Your goal is to establish high comfort during the early part of any interaction or during "rapport building." This helps you to establish a baseline of behaviors during that period when the person, hopefully, does not feel threatened.P
While he describes this dynamic in the context of lie-detection, it's the lens through which all body language can be interpreted. If you're at a party and everyone's enjoying themselves, a person in a chair, with their arms folded, and head down will stand out. They might seem uncomfortable and you might wonder if something is out of the ordinary. In response to this, you might ask if anything is wrong. That very same set of actions observed in someone in a hospital waiting room would be much less abnormal. Even if the person has nothing to worry about, hospitals can make people uncomfortable or nervous. Asking this person what's wrong could easily result in the very obvious reaction: "I'm in a hospital." P
Observing how comfortable a person is in a particular context can give you clues as to how they feel. If you're on a first date and your partner seems comfortable, they're probably into you! If you're conducting a job interview and the applicant seems comfortable and confident during the process, but gets fidgety and nervous when you ask if they've stolen from previous employers, it might be something to inquire about further. Body language is not an exact science, but gauging comfort levels can give you clues about what's really going on in the minds of people around you. P
The Basic Body Cues to Watch ForP
Most of our body parts are quietly communicating how we feel and what we want, whether we realize it or not. The following are some cues you can watch for to get an idea of how a person is feeling, but keep in mind the comfort/discomfort paradigm. No one behavior tells the whole story.P
Head and FaceP
The first thing to understand about trying to read facial expressions is that they are not always the most honest. We'll get to which body part is the most honest later, but we are trained from a very young age that certain facial expressions and actions are appropriate for certain occasions, whether we feel them or not. However, there are still some cues you can glean from facial expressions.P
One of the easiest to learn about (though still one of the hardest to accurately identify) is the "fake smile". As the Paul Ekman International blog (named for the pioneer in facial expression analysis Paul Ekman) explains, fake smiles―the kind we make because we're supposed to―are most often done with just the mouth. We know to raise the corners of our mouths to smile. A lot fewer of us are aware of how much our eyes are involved in a proper smile. In a real smile, our eyebrows, eyelids, and sometimes even our whole head turn upwards, along with the corners of our mouths. This test from the BBC can let you try your hand at telling the real smiles from the fake ones.P
Pursed lips are another way to tell when someone is drifting over to the discomfort side of the spectrum. This is a favorite expression analysts like to point out whenever a politician is giving some form of confession. In cases like Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer's confession speeches, both can be seen tightening their lips, pursing them to the point they nearly disappear.P
Pursed lips tell the story
"Most often, the lip pursing results from a half, or partial truth, and suggests there is…
Read on timesunion.com
These are just a couple of easy to identify facial gestures that can tell you a bit about what a person's feeling, but there are so many different variations that the face itself has its own coding system to gauge them all. And, as we've established, the face isn't always the most honest part of the body, which is why it's important to give equal (or more) attention to the rest of the body.P
ArmsP
Our arms are heavily employed in self-expression. Many individual gestures can be taught or trained in us over time (such as "don't point at people"), but there are two more helpful aspects of arm and hand motion to observe: how much space they take up, and how high they reach.P
Gravity-defying gestures, in any part of the body, are generally seen as positive. When we're happy, excited, or interested, we raise our heads or our chin, our arms go up, even our legs and feet start to point skyward or bounce if we're sitting. The arms are incredibly versatile at highlighting this behavior. As Navarro explains again:P
When excited, we don't restrict our arm movements; in fact our natural tendency is to defy gravity and raise our arms high above our heads. When people are truly energized and happy, their arm motions defy gravity. As previously mentioned, gravity-defying behaviors are associated with positive feelings. When a person feels good or confident, he swings his arms affirmatively, such as while walking. It is the insecure person who subconsciously restrains his arms, seemingly unable to defy the weight of gravity.
Candidly tell a colleague about a drastic and costly mistake she just made at work and her shoulders and arms will sink down and droop. Ever have that "sinking feeling"? It's a limbic response to a negative event. Negative emotions bring us down physically. Not only are these limbic responses honest, but they happen in real time. We leap and thrust our arms in the air the moment the point is scored, or our shoulders and arms sink when a referee rules against us. These gravity-related behaviors communicate emotions accurately and at the precise moment we are affected. Further, these physical manifestations can be contagious, whether at a football stadium, a rock concert, or in a gathering of great friends.P
Individual gestures of the hands may be helpful for communicating conscious thoughts―like a coach speaking in a non-verbal code to a player on the field―but when it comes to gauging the subconscious mood or comfort level of a person, gravity is where it's at.P
TorsoP
Our torso―comprised of our shoulders, chest, and belly―is pretty vital to our survival. That's where our organs live! As such, we're pretty well trained to protect this part of our body instinctively. Even in regular social settings, we protect our torso. More importantly, we allow access to our torso when we're comfortable: P
These torso displays that reflect the limbic brain's need to distance and avoid are very good indicators of true sentiments. When one person in a relationship feels that something is wrong with the way things are going, he or she is most likely sensing a subtle degree of physical distancing in his or her partner. The distancing can also take the form of what I call ventral denial. Our ventral (front) side, where our eyes, mouth, chest, breasts, genitals, etc. are located, is very sensitive to things we like and dislike. When things are good, we expose our ventral sides toward what we favor, including those people who make us feel good. When things go wrong, relationships change, or even when topics are discussed that we disfavor, we will engage in ventral denial, by shifting or turning away. The ventral side is the most vulnerable side of the body, so the limbic brain has an inherent need to protect it from the things that hurt or bother us. This is the reason, for example, we immediately and subconsciously begin to turn slightly to the side when someone we dislike approaches us at a party. When it comes to courtship, an increase in ventral denial is one of the best indicators that the relationship is in trouble.P
This behavior of either sharing or denying our ventral side to people can be most readily observed in a dating or romantic context. Early on in a relationship, a couple will frequently angle their torso more towards their partner than away. They'll turn towards them when they enter a room, or lean in when sitting next to each other.P
Part of the reason we do this is because when we're comfortable, our limbic system lowers its defenses. We protect or deny access to our torso when we're around unpleasant things. Naturally, the converse is usually true. If we're readily leaving our chests and abdomen open, even voluntarily pointing them towards a person, it probably means we feel happy and safe with what's going on.P
LegsP
If you had to guess which part of the body is the most honest, most people would guess that it's eyes or possibly the face as a whole. In reality, we're way off. The legs and feet, suggests Navarro, are where the real honesty lies. After all, we're trained throughout most of our life to smile for the camera, stop making faces, and to pretend to have a good time. However, millions of years of evolution have taught us that our legs need to be ready to escape.P
One key way to detect the leg's intention is to notice where the feet and legs are pointing. Similar to the way we point our chests, our lower extremities tend to lean or point in the direction of where we'd like to go or what we're most interested in:P
When two people talk to each other, they normally speak toe to toe. If, however, one of the individuals turns his feet slightly away or repeatedly moves one foot in an outward direction (in an L formation with one foot toward you and one away from you), you can be assured he wants to take leave or wishes he were somewhere else. This type of foot behavior is another example of an intention cue (Givens, 2005, 60–61). The person's torso may remain facing you out of social diligence, but the feet may more honestly reflect the limbic brain's need or desire to escape.P
On the flip side, crossed legs―particularly while standing―are a relatively strong indicator that a person is interested in staying where they are. This is tied pretty deeply into our survival instinct. While we may pretend to be having a good time, crossing the legs makes it more difficult to escape danger. Even if we might know that there's no immediate physical danger at a social gathering we want to leave, our brains still respond to the discomfort in the same way: by preparing to move away from here.P
The Importance of a BaselineP
More than any other individual piece of body language is the importance of establishing a baseline. Everyone has their own quirks, habits, and idiosyncrasies. A shy person may keep their arms lower and closer to their body and their head down more than a more outgoing person by default (which is part of the reason why an introvert can be misinterpreted as being upset or confrontational). Any one behavior by itself is not necessarily indicative of a mood change. However, as you get to know a person and how they behave in normal situations, abnormal behavior can give you a much greater indication of how they're feeling. Don't just watch for a foot bouncing or a head held high. Keep an eye out for when that behavior is out of the ordinary.P
More importantly, though, use the cues available to you to gauge comfort levels and be aware of what the person is reacting to. Often, you don't need to perform a deep line of questioning to figure out what's really on a person's mind. If they grimace when a particular song comes on when they're otherwise happy, it's a pretty safe bet that the song was the cause.P
Photos by Ace Armstrong, Nico Paix, Jason Ippolito, and DJ Bass.P
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FirefighterGeekUEric Ravenscraft
5/07/14 10:36am
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It's misleading to say "only have an intuitive knowledge of...." ―- that intuitive sense is the result of millions of years of evolution and unless you really study very hard and focus a lot of concentration on reading that language (or if you are autistic or otherwise unable to trust your intuition) you are probably better off listening to what your subconscious is telling you. All the details discussed here, and a great many others, are constantly being interpreted by your brain without you even thinking about. When you get that "feeling" that you distrust someone, or don't believe what they're saying, it's very likely that you've done the job of reading them and should pay attention to it.
One thing you CAN watch for, is someone who has studied a little bit of this and is purposely trying to use that knowledge to give you signals. An example of this would be a frat boy at a party finding excuses to touch the arm of the girl he's trying to hit on because he's read that it's a behavior that encourages closeness and trust. If you see someone trying to manipulate body language, you can use that to your advantage.
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Eric Ravenscraft
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Eric Ravenscraft, HostUFirefighterGeek
5/07/14 10:46am
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I think that one should augment their gut instinct with observed knowledge, rather than trust instinct alone. Our brains are notoriously bad at accurately guessing what a person is really feeling. There are a lot more people who believe they're good at detecting a lie than there are people who are actually any better than chance. Even among the tiny fraction of people who are better than chance, it's rarely by a significant amount. Add to this our innate inclination towards prejudice and the almost unending list of cognitive biases, and it becomes pretty clear that your "gut" is the starting place for learning what body language means. Not the whole package.
Millions of years of evolution have trained us to survive. Not to detect the innermost feelings of others. We're not bred for that, nor are we very good at it. Our survival is dependent on knowing whether or not someone intends to kill us. It is much less dependent on knowing whether or not the person we're talking to has an appointment they need to get to. The former informs the latter, and I think an intuitive sense of what body language means is important, but I flat out reject the notion that the only time that understanding body language cues is useful is in trying to identify manipulators of them. In fact, there's almost no way to know for sure if someone is intentionally using a particular body language cue to a specific end on purpose, or if they just come by that action naturally. That's an incredibly dangerous line of thinking.
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05/31/2014 Eric Ravenscraft. LIFEHACKER
元FBI捜査官が教える「ボディーランゲージを理解する術」
「ボディーランゲージ」は、コミュニケーションの大きな部分を占めています。しかし、大半の人は、非言語コミュニケーションについてあまり知識がないようです。今回は、ボディーランゲージ初心者のために、身体を読み解く基礎知識を紹介します。
「快適／不快」でボディーランゲージを読み解く
「ボディーランゲージ」と聞くと、多くの人が同じ反応を示します。「じゃあ、人間ウソ発見器になれるのね！」。その気持ちはよくわかります。しかし、ドラマ『ライ・トゥ・ミー 嘘は真実を語る』のカル・ライトマン博士の主張とは裏腹に、唇がひきつっているとか、腕を組んでいるというだけでは人の感情は判断できません。
あなたができるのは、相手がどれくらい快適さを感じているかを推測することだけです。「快適／不快」の判別は、個別のしぐさから相手の感情や思考を推し測ろうとするよりずっと重要です。
元FBIの尋問官で、ボディーランゲージ分析の専門家でもあるジョー・ナヴァロ氏は、その著書『FBI捜査官が教える「しぐさ」の心理学』の中で次のように説明しています。
ウソをついている人や後ろめたい人、ウソや犯罪に関する知識を隠しておかなければならない人は、快適に感じることが難しく、緊張感と苦痛が見受けられる。罪の意識があったりウソをごまかそうとしたりすると、普通なら簡単な質問に対してでも答えをでっち上げるのに苦労して、とても重い認知上の負担がかかる（DePaulo他、1985年）
話していて快適さを強く感じている相手ほど、ウソをつくことによる不快感を示す重要な仕草を見抜きやすくなる。目標は、関わりの早い段階、または「関係を築く」段階で、快適な状態を作ることにある。これによって、その人が脅威を感じていないときの行動基準を知ることができる。
ナヴァロ氏はウソ発見に関してこの現象を説明していますが、これはあらゆるボディーランゲージを読み解く鍵にもなります。パーティーでみんなが楽しんでいるとき、椅子に座ってうつむいている人がいれば目立ちます。
きっとその人は不快そうに見えるでしょう。「どうかしましたか？」と尋ねたくなるかもしれません。一方、同じ姿勢の人を病院の待合室で見かけても、それほど違和感を感じません。特に理由がなくても、病院という場所は快適とはいえず、誰もが少し神経質になります。うつむいて座っている人に「どうかしましたか？」と尋ねれば、きっとこんな返事が返ってくるでしょう。「いえ、まあ、ここは病院ですので...」。
相手がどれくらい快適そうかを観察すれば、心の中を推測する手がかりになります。例えば最初のデートでパートナーが快適そうにしていれば、相手はきっとあなたに好意を持っています。採用面接で候補者が快適で自信に満ちたそぶりを見せていても、あなたが「前の会社から何かを盗みませんでしたか？」と質問したときに、そわそわして神経質になったとしたら、何か隠している可能性があります。
ボディーランゲージは厳密な科学ではありません。しかし、相手の「快適さのレベル」を計測すれば、その人の心の中で何が起きているかを知る手がかりになります。
ボディーランゲージの基礎
私たちの体は、たとえ無自覚だとしても、感じていることや、欲しているものを静かに語り続けています。以下、相手の感じていることを知るためにどこを観察すればいいかを解説します。前述の快適／不快の段落を参照しつつ読んでください。ただし、単独のしぐさがすべてを語るわけではないことに注意してください。
頭と顔
顔の表情の読み取りでまず理解すべきなのは、顔はよくウソをつくということです。体のどの部分が最も正直かは後で話します。私たちは幼い頃から、状況に応じて顔の表情を作る訓練をしてきました。そのため、実際の感情とは相反する表情も作れます。とはいえ、表情からわかることもたくさんあります。
比較的簡単に学べるのは「作り笑い」の見分け方です。（ただし、正確に見分けるのは難しい）。表情分析のパイオニアであるポール・エクマン氏が自身のブログで、「作り笑いはおもに口が使われる」と説明しています。私たちは、口角を持ち上げれば笑顔になるのを知っています。一方、多くの人は気づいていないでしょが、本物の笑顔は目の周辺が大きく動きます。本物の笑顔では、口角だけでなく、眉毛、まつげ、さらには頭全体が上方に持ち上げられます。BBCが作り笑いを見分けるテストを提供しています。
きつく結んだ唇は不快を感じているサインです。こちらの記事は、米国の政治家、Anthony Weiner氏とEliot Spitzer氏の釈明会見の有名な表情分析です。両者とも唇をきつく結んでおり、ほとんど唇が見えなくなっています。
これらは、比較的容易に顔の表情から感情を読み取れるサインです。しかし、顔の表情はあまりにも多彩であり、すべてを見分けるのは困難です。また、成熟した大人の表情は正直ではありません。顔だけでなく体の別のパーツにも注意を向けるべきです。
腕や手
手や腕は自己表現によく使われるパーツです。私たちは子どものころから、手や腕のしぐさについて、口うるさく指導されます（他人を指差してはいけません、など）。腕や手の動きを観察するときのポイントは2つ：「どれくらいのスペースを占有しているか」、「どれくらい高く上がっているか」です。
重力に逆らった姿勢は、体のどのパーツであれ、ポジティブな気持ちを表現します。嬉しかったり、興奮していたり、興味を持ったりすると、手やあご、腕が持ち上がってきます。足を上方に向けたり、ぶらぶら揺らすこともあります。なかでも腕はとくに目立つ動きをします。ナヴァロ氏は次のように話しています。
ワクワクしている人は、腕の動きを抑制しない。事実、人には重力に逆らって腕を頭上高くかかげる自然な傾向がある。心から活気と喜びにあふれているとき、私たちの腕の動きは重力に逆らう。前に説明した通り、重力に逆らう行動は嬉しい感情に結びついている。人が心地よく感じたり、自信に満ちたりしているときには、歩いているときのように、自然に腕を振る。無意識のうちに腕の動きを抑え、重力に逆らえないように見えるのは、不安にかられている人だ。
同僚がやってしまった費用のかかる大きなミスをはっきり伝えれば、その同僚は肩を落とし、腕もダラリと下げて、沈み込んでしまうにちがいない。こんな「沈み込む気持ち」を経験したことがあるだろうか？ この辺縁系の反応は正直なばかりか、ちょくちょく起こる。応援するチームがゴールした瞬間、観客は跳び上がって両腕を空中に突き上げるが、審判が味方に不利な判定をすれば、肩も腕も沈み込んでしまう。こうした重力に関係する行動は、そのときの瞬間的な気持ちを正直に伝えている。さらに、フットボールのスタジアムでも、ロックコンサートでも、仲よしの集まりでも、周囲の人から人へと広がっていくことがある。
手を使ったサインは、コーチがグラウンドの選手にサインを出すなど、意図的なコミュニケーションによく使われます。一方、無意識の状態を探ったり、快適さのレベルを図るには、重力との関連を観察することです。
胴体
胴体（肩や胸、お腹の部分）は、私たちのサバイバルにとって重要な場所です。なにしろ内蔵が入っています！ ですので、私たちは胴体を守るようによく訓練されています。通常の生活でも私たちは胴体を守っています。そして、快適さを感じているとき、胴体への接触を許します。
遠ざかりたい、避けたいという感情に応じて命じた胴体の動きを見れば、本当の気持ちがとてもよくわかる。人間関係で、一方の人がどこか違和感があると思ったときは、たいてい相手はわずかながら体を遠ざけていると感じたのが原因だ。体を遠ざけるという動作は「体の前面をそむける」という形をとることもある。私たちの体の前面（腹側）には、目や口、胸や乳房、生殖器などがあって、好き嫌いにとても敏感に反応する。気持ちがよければ、体の前面を好きなもののほうにまっすぐ向け、すべてをさらけ出す。心地よくさせてくれる人に対して同じことが言える。その反対に、何かがうまくいかなかったり、人間関係が変化したり、嫌いなことについて話していたりすると、私たちは体の位置や向きを変えて「前面をそむける」。体の前側は人体の中でも最も攻撃に弱い面なので、私たちを傷つけたり困らせたりするものからなんとかそこを守る必要がある。たとえば、パーティーで嫌いな人が近付いてくるのが見えると、とっさに、無意識のうちに、わずかに体の向きを横にしてしまうのは、そんな理由があるからだ。恋人同士の場合、前面をそむける機会が増えれば、関係がこわれそうな何よりの目安になる。
腹部によるコミュニケーションは、デートや恋愛のときによく見られます。付き合い始めのころ、カップルはより頻繁に腹部をお互いに向け合います。相手が部屋に入ってくるとそちらに体を向け、隣同士に座るともたれ合います。
この現象のひとつの理由は、快適さを感じている時、脳が防御を緩めるためです。私たちは、好きじゃないものの近くいるとき、胴体を保護したり、拒否しようとします。これは逆のことも言えます。腹部を開放し、自ら相手の方を向いているとき、あなたはハッピーで安心感を感じているのです。
足と脚
元FBI捜査官が教える「ボディーランゲージを理解する術」
もし、体のどのパートが一番正直かと聞かれたら、多くの人は目か顔だと答えるでしょう。実際は違います。ナヴァロ氏によると、本当に正直なのは「足」なのだとか。実際、私たちは、カメラに向かって笑顔を作り、楽しい時間を過ごしているフリをするのは得意です。しかし、何百万年もの進化の歴史は、足に、危険を察知したら逃げる準備をするように教えてきました。
足の意図を見分けるひとつのポントは、脚や足先がどちらを向いているかです。胸などと同じく、足も自分が行きたい方向や、興味がある方向へ向きます。
2人の人が立ち話をしているときには、向き合っているのが普通だ。でも一方が足先を少しそらしたり、片足をしきりに外に向けて（片足の先が相手を向き、もう片方の足先が直角に外を向いて、L字になるように）動かしたりしているなら、その人は話をやめて、どこか別の場所に行きたがっている。このような足の動きも、これからやろうとしていることの手がかりになる。（Givens, 2005年）
胴体は、礼儀正しく相手に向けたままかもしれないが、足はもっと正直に、脳の必要としていることや逃げたいという願望を反映する。
また、脚の交差は（とくに立った姿勢のとき）、その場所に留まりたい強い気持ちを表します。脚を交差していると、危険が迫ってもすぐには逃げられません。つまり、交差した足は、その人がそれだけ快適さを感じていることを表しています。
基準の重要性
ボディーランゲージの個別のしぐさを見る前に、相手の「基準となる行動」を把握してください。誰でもその人特有のくせや習慣、行動様式があります。内気な人は社交的な人に比べて、基本的に腕を低く体に近い位置に置き、頭も下げています。（内向的な人が、怒っているとか対立的だと誤解されるのはこのため）。どんなしぐさも、それ単独では感情の変化を証明しません。しかし、相手をよく知り、いつもの状態がわかっていれば、いつもと違う状態になったときに、すぐに気づけます。足が揺れているとか、頭の位置が高いなど、単独の兆候で判断しないこと。いつもと違う振る舞いに注目してください。
大切なのは、相手の快適さのレベルを測れる手がかりを見つけておき、リアクションに注目することです。相手の心で何が起きているかを知るのに、いちいち質問を投げかける必要はありません。さっきまで快適そうにしていた人が、ある曲がかかったとたんに顔をしかめたら、原因がその曲にあるのは明らかです。
Eric Ravenscraft
Photos by Ace Armstrong, Nico Paix, Jason Ippolito, and DJ Bass.
FBI捜査官が教える「しぐさ」の心理学 (河出文庫)
