汗かいた
鼻の頭が
加齢臭
Translate the following 短歌 into English:
こりゃヤバイ
自分で気付いたナノネール
いったいいつから放っていたのか？
この空間…
目の前にある
この空間…
宇宙と繋がり
私を包む
何じゃコリャ！？
雨の渋谷、道玄坂上
たださまよう、平日の昼間
シトシト
行き交う人は、遥かなる旅人
もう見れない光景
戻らない時間
ラーメンでも喰うか、
醤油味
Chat爺英訳：
In the rain of Shibuya, at the top of Dogenzaka,
I wander aimlessly, on a weekday afternoon.
The gentle patter of raindrops—
The people passing by, distant travelers on unknown journeys.
A sight I will never see again,
A time that will never return.
Let’s have some ramen,
Soy sauce flavor.
こりゃヤバイ
自分で気付いたナノネール
いったいいつから放っていたのか？
2024/11/26追記
-
-
ChatGPT:
Oh no, this is bad—
I’ve just noticed it myself: Nano nails.
How long, I wonder,
have I been neglecting them,
leaving them as they are? -
あなた:
Revise it considering that ナノネール is a substance that produces an odor typically associated with middle-aged and older men that is a sign of old age and lower attention to personal hygiene and bodily care. -
ChatGPT:
Oh no, this is bad—
I’ve just noticed it myself: nano-nails,
that telltale odor
of aging and neglect.
How long has it been this way? -
あなた:
Sorry, it was ノネナール、not ナノネール. Revise the translation. -
ChatGPT:
Oh no, this is bad—
I’ve just noticed it myself: nonenal,
that telltale odor
of aging and neglect.
How long have I ignored it? -
あなた:
Nonenal, -
ChatGPT:
Oh no, this is bad—
I’ve just noticed it myself: nonenal,
that distinct odor
of aging and neglect.
How long have I let it linger? -
あなた:
What do you think about the following?Oh, nonenal,That telltale odor of old age,How long have I ignored it? -
ChatGPT:
Your version is concise and poetic, capturing the essence of the original 短歌 effectively. Here's a closer analysis:
-
"Oh, nonenal,"
- The exclamation "Oh" works well to express sudden realization or dismay.
- Directly naming "nonenal" sets the tone and focus.
-
"That telltale odor of old age,"
- This phrase succinctly conveys the idea of nonenal being associated with aging.
- "Telltale odor" is evocative and fits the emotional weight.
-
"How long have I ignored it?"
- This line reflects a sense of regret and self-awareness, staying faithful to the original tone.
Overall Impression:
It’s a well-crafted and elegant adaptation of the original 短歌, retaining the theme while making it relatable in English. The only suggestion would be to consider whether you want to include any nuance of neglect or personal care, but as it stands, it's effective and poignant.
-
ああ嫌だ
爪に縦筋
鼻毛は白髪
追記2024/11/26
-
Translate the following 短歌（＊川柳）into English:ああ嫌だ爪に縦筋鼻毛は白髪
-
ChatGPT:
Oh, how I hate it—
Vertical lines on my nails,
and nose hairs turning
white with age,
a reminder I can’t ignore. -
あなた:
How about the following?Oh, I hate it—Ridges on my nails,and gray nose hairs. -
ChatGPT:
Your version is succinct and captures the essence of the original, though it trims some of the emotional weight. Here's a quick analysis:
-
"Oh, I hate it—"
- This conveys the emotional frustration well and aligns with the original "ああ嫌だ."
-
"Ridges on my nails,"
- "Ridges" is a precise and natural translation for "縦筋."
- The phrasing is simple and effective.
-
"And gray nose hairs."
- This is clear and direct, matching the original "鼻毛は白髪."
- It effectively conveys the speaker's dismay without overexplaining.
Strengths:
- The brevity gives it a sharp, modern feel, aligning with how 短歌 might be adapted for contemporary English readers.
- The simplicity keeps the tone relatable and universal.
Suggestions:
If you want to add a touch more poetic flair or maintain the structure of a 短歌, you could expand slightly:
"Oh, how I hate it—
Ridges forming on my nails,
and gray nose hairs."Both versions work well depending on the tone you wish to convey!
-
ゴキ発見
慈悲心砕く
あの動き
クモ発見
オレとオマエは
同期のサクラ
深夜2時
ざわつく心
腹減りカップヌードル
風呂なんて
週イチでいいんだ
ドカチンやる訳でも無し
当ブログの例文について
本ブログの「特許英語散策」等題した部分では、英語の例文を管理人の独断と偏見で収集し、適宜訳文・訳語を記載しています。
訳文等は原則として対応日本語公報をそのまま写したものです。私個人のコメント部分は（大抵）”＊”を付しています。
訳語は多数の翻訳者の長年の努力の結晶ですが、誤訳、転記ミスもあると思いますのでご注意ください。
