How to stop bullying

  今日は少し真剣な話を。これから日本でサッカースクールを立ち上げていく上でも、指導者として、教育者として重要な対処法を自分の中でも作っておきたい「いじめ」について。

  社会学者たちが何十年も研究し続けている「いじめ」。彼らはいじめとは呼ばず、支配的振る舞いと言います。それは相手を支配的力で抑え込む事です。群れを支配する動物の世界のようですね。これが学校内でも起こっているのです。そしてこの支配的振る舞いというものを理解すれば、いじめというものの本質が何なのか、どう対処していくのかがわかってきます。

　すべてのいじめ専門家が認めるのは、いじめとはパワーバランスと非均等であること。人が人を力で抑え込み、負けを認めさせ勝ち誇りたいという感情が根底にあります。結果、弱者が反抗し、怒り混乱することで強者はいじめへの快感が増し、激しくなっていく。もしいじめられる側に耐える力があり、何を言われても気にしない精神的、感情的強さがあればどうなるでしょうか？

　いじめる側の挑発に、「ははは、俺がわるかったよ。参った、降参だ」と受け流すことが繰り返しできれば、もしあなたがいじめは「勝ち負けのやりとり」以上の何ものでもないと生徒たちに説明することができれば、彼らはいじめる事を自然とやめていくでしょう。挑発に反応する事を彼らは楽しんでいるのだから。

　多くの人がいじめはすごく複雑な問題だと捉えています。ですが本当はすごくシンプルなのです。「相手が何と言おうと怒るな」。これができれば当事者にできればいじめは自然となくなる。簡単と言っているわけではありません。ただいじめのからくりは単純なのです。これをしっかり生徒たちに説明する事が前もってできれば、未然に防ぐ事も、実際に起こりかけた時も生徒が正しい態度で対処できるはずなのです。

　いじめは暴力と考える人もいます。いじめは暴力ではありません。顔を殴られればこれは暴力です。すぐに警察に行きましょう。暴力は犯罪ですから、犯罪者は罰を受けなければならない。いじめと暴力は全くの別物で、一緒に扱ってはいけない。指導者や教育者がしっかりと理解し、説明する事ができれば防げる問題はたくさんあるはずなのです。

Hi, guys.

Today, let me bring up a topic that is about bullying. I think a lot of coaches and teachers have misunderstandings upon bullying to solve. At some point, I will have to deal with matters of bullying after starting off business with my own football academy in Japan. If I have a decent approach to solve most cases of bullying, that would be very helpfun to make a healthy run with the academy for sure.

Sociologist have been studying bullying for decades. They just don't call it bullying, they always call it 'Dominance behaviour' that it's other people trying to overpower others, and it's just like animal kingdom. That's alpha male mentality. That's what happening on campus. And so when we understand it in terms of dominance behaviour. People trying to have POWER over another. That helps us understand what to do about bullying and when we understand what it is. 

All the bullying experts agree on one thing. The bullying is an imbalance of power that someone trying to have power over you. They wanna see you lose, and they wanna win.

The more upset/angry you get, the more fun they have. But what would happen if we were resilient.. what if we were emotionally strong and mentally tough, then no matter what the haters say you wouldn't care. 

If you are the victim of relentless teasing, taunting or bullying, and decided to not get upset? To have tough skin? To allow the hateful mean words of others bounce right off you, and not care what the other person says?

If you explain to students that bullying is nothing more than a game about winning and losing, and that the way they can win is by not getting upset, and the bully will lose. And when people lose, they don't like playing the game any more, so they'll leave you alone.

When you explain that to a student, it's simple, concrete not abstract, ethereal or complex. It is very simple.

Don't get upset, no matter what they say. I'm not saying it is easy, but in logic. It is very simple.

Now it's important to know this. When I say bullying, I'm not talking about someone is hurting your feeling. If you can understand bullying in terms of someone hurting your feelings. The solution is very simple, but some people think bullying is more complex than hurting your feelings. Then they think bullying is like violence, but it is not. If you get punched on your face by someone, it's violence. Violence is a crime. Don't mix them up.