Wife Balance

今日も一日、雨、、、
全く、近頃の天気は予想を超える、、。　寒くてまた、ストーブを出してきた。
日照時間も少ないので、野菜の値上がりは必至なり、。キャベツ１個が何と￥300－400。大変な事だ。

こんな憂鬱な時は、楽しいジョークでも、、と勉強したが、、、。

故障した車をうまく走らせるには、重量バランスが必要だよね！！　人生もバランス感覚で行こう！！

今日も雨、、頭の体操 ”俸給理論”

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time

Since:

Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
Knowledge = Work/Money.


Solving for Money, we get:

Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion: 結論

The less you know, the more you make.


この理論で、なぜ、知識が無い方が俸給が高いか分かるでしょう。

"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."

よって、エンジニアー、科学者よりも、サラリーマン、ビジネスマンの給料が高いのか
理解出来るでしょう

ジョーク、、、 ”マネジャーとの面接”

Interview With A Manager...

There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul.

Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both come from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each candidate aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?

Only seconds after talking to them both, he chooses Paul.

Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside after the interview. "I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?"

"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Paul replies.

"Your hands? What do you mean?"

"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in either of them!"

ジョークとしては、あまり面白くないけど、真実の本音が勝つのか、、。

The Buffalo Theory... バファローの法則、、

面白い法則、、？があったので、ここで紹介

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest onles at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and heald of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

ビール飲みにとっては、良い話、法則ですね、、。ビールをのんで、スマートに
なろう、、。

今日のジョーク：、、、Don't Mess With Texas...

テキサスの人とかかわるな、、、

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting,

"Don't flush, don't flush!"

このジョークの背景は、テキサス人は、すべて、テキサスの物は一番大きい事を自慢する事から来ている。アメリカのジョークによくテキサスの話題が多い。　

ジョーク、、、この子は偉い、、！！

久しぶりの楽しいジョークに朝から大笑い、、！！。そばで聞いていた校長先生の態度が面白い、。


Final Exam...

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry: '9.'

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Fire truck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last five questions wrong.

今日のジョーク

今日のジョークは文面が長い割には、最後のオチが単純すぎて、考えさせるジョークではないが、、、日本には受けるかも、、？

All My Sons...

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.

Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline company, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best Universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the Successes of our sons. ..What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said: "What a shame...What a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

確かに笑えるジョークだが、、。単純すぎるね、、。

今日はジョークで、、

しばらく、ジョークから遠ざかっていたが、上手い切り返しの洒落たジョークをひとつ、、。

He said...I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear pants don't you?

英語のジョークを勉強していると、ジョークの組み立て方が日本人と大いに違う事に気づく。
落ちを最後まで言わない所で、、、こちらが何を言おうとしているかを相手に考えて笑ってもらう、、。　考える力が必要なり、、。

（写真：ハロイーンパーティーで飲みすぎないように）

ジョーク、、、死後のアクシゼント

最近、味のあるジョークになかなか巡り合えないが、今回のジョークはチョット、
味がある。　文化の違いが分からないと難しいかも、、、


Afterlife Accidents...

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

雨の日は、、ジョークで、、”、保安官とブロンド女との会話”

久しぶりのジョーク！！、　笑ってやって下さい。ブロンド女は正しいぞ！！

Blonde Law and Order...

The local sheriff in a small suburban town was looking for a deputy. He posted ads in the paper, and sure enough, Lisa, a wonderful looking blonde, went in to try out for the job. She wasn't the sharpest nail in the bucket, but seeing as she had a natural charisma about her, the sheriff gave her an interview...

"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Lisa, what is 1 and 1?"

"11!" she enthusiastically replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's right in a way..."

"Okay, Lisa. What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"

"Shucks, that's easy," the blonde replied. "Today and tomorrow!"

The sheriff was again surprised that Lisa supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

He thought of his next question carefully to make sure there could be no equivocation about the answer:

"Now Lisa, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

Lisa looked a little surprised, thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while," the sheriff replied with satisfaction.

So, Lisa wandered over to the salon where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.

"How'd it go?" they all asked.

Lisa was ecstatic. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

ジョーク： ”マネジメント レッスン Part 2 ”

Management Lesson, Part 2...

A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him,

"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

何もしないで、坐っていても安全なのは、もっと、もっと、高い地位に登りつめてから、、。

ジョークで笑いを、、！！ ” マネジメントの教えー１ ”

Management Lesson...

A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk."I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an Endless supply of pinna coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Management lesson?

Always let your boss have the first say.

面白いですね、、。常に、ボスには最初に発言させる事　！！

雨の日は、、ジョークで、、：、船員と海賊の会話

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?

"Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously.

"Well," said the pirate, "It was my first day with my hook."

最後のセンテンス、カモメのフンが原因で、、最初にフックを使ったのが、、自分の眼を失うとは、、、面白いですね。

ジョーク、、 久しぶりの大笑い、、。

受刑者がバスで刑務所へ輸送中での会話、、。

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.

On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?"

The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail."

Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"

The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."

The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?"

The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I brought these."

The other two were puzzled and asked, "What can you do with those?"

He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...."

彼はおそらくポーランド人か、、！

雨の日はジョークで、、 ： 新しい視点で考えれば、、

New Perspective...

After being married 25 years, a man looked at his wife one day and said, "You know, 25 years ago we lived in a cheap apartment, drove a cheap car, had only a sofa bed and watched a 14" black and white television.

But, every night I got to sleep with a hot 25-year-old blonde."

"Now," he continued, "We have a nice house, a new car, a big flat-screen TV, but I have to sleep with a 50-year-old woman. It doesn't seem fair."

His wife was a reasonable woman.

She replied, "Well, why don't you go out and get yourself a hot 25-year-old blonde? Then I'll make sure you will once again live in a cheap apartment, drive a cheap car, have only a sofa bed and watch a 14" black and white television."

The man rethought his priorities.

奥さんはできた人だ。同時に得ようとするのは、不可なり。
どちらを選ぶか、、