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さわやか誌

定年後の人生を、思い残すことなく毎日を、さわやかに有意義に過ごしたい

Golf Jokes: Once An Engineer, Always An Engineer

2021年08月18日 10時17分53秒 | ジョーク

なるほど、一理あるね、、。さすがはエンジニア―ですね。


A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"


Joke: One Age Fits All

2020年11月24日 16時19分18秒 | ジョーク

なかなか面白い話だね。女性は常に若く見られたい、、。

 

A woman was shopping for something to wear to her 50th high school reunion when a group of teenage girls came into the same shop to try on dresses for their school formal.

“Gross,” complained one girl loudly to her friends, “this dress makes me look 40 years old!”

“May I have it?” called out the lady. “That’s just what I’m looking for!”


Joke: Spell it

2020年10月21日 09時16分28秒 | ジョーク

よくこう言う事ってあるよね‼️

最後はめんどくさくなって、どうでもよい、、と思う事が、。

Pete: "What's that you have in your buttonhole?"
Donald: "That's a chrysanthemum."
Pete: "It looks like a rose to me!"
Donald: "Your wrong, its a chrysanthemum."
Pete: "Then spell it."
Donald: "K-r-i-s.....your right, it is a rose."


Joke: Chop sticks

2020年06月19日 09時51分02秒 | ジョーク

この会話のやり取りを笑える余裕を持ちましょう。

 

(FaceBook)

 

A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said, "Chopsticks are provided only on request."

"But," the man countered, "if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you wouldn't have to pay someone to wash all the forks."

"True," the waiter shot back, "but we'd have to hire two more people to sweep the floor."


今日のジョーク

2020年04月13日 08時57分51秒 | ジョーク

今日のジョーク、この若者は論理的な話の筋を作っているね!偉い!

On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it be right," he asked, "for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?"
"Absolutely not!" replied the pastor.
"In that case," said the young man, "I wonder if you'd consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July?"


Joke: Faking your age

2018年01月22日 12時42分10秒 | ジョーク

なるほど、、。これは良い手だ、、。

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception. His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty.

“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age."

His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.

"Well," he replied, "I said I was 87!"

 


Joke: Owed Money

2017年12月01日 10時54分07秒 | ジョーク

なるほどね、、。こういう手もありか、、。参考になりそうだ。

A man went to his lawyer and asked him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?"

"Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer.

"Nope," replied the man.

"Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owes you," said the lawyer.

"But it's only $500," replied the man.

"Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!"


Joke: Lost money

2017年08月11日 10時13分01秒 | ジョーク

この青年は頭が良いね。 落とした札束を見つけ出す良策、、? 

 I was standing in line in a bank one day when a teenager called out in a loud voice, "Did anyone lose a big wad of bills with a rubber band around it?"

Two men and a woman quickly called out, "I did!"

The teenager responded saying, "Well I found the rubber band!"


Joke: Results are out

2017年06月08日 09時58分53秒 | ジョーク

思った以上に最悪、、。友人も頭がいいね。

A boy says to his friend, "Today my test results are out and my dad is at home. If I fail in one subject, text me saying ‘good morning to you’. If I fail in two, text me ‘Good morning to you and to your dad.’"

His friend agreed. Minutes later the boy gets a text from his friend. “Good morning to you and to your family and to your neighbors also!"