高学歴と孤独

今読んでる小説に

お婆さんがデイサービスに行かずに

家族が精神的に追い詰められるシーンがあります。

これを見ると

たとえ長く暮らした親であっても

自分で自分の事ができなくなれば

家族の中では排除圧力が生まれ

そしてその排除に抗うと

それが憎しみになる

この原理がよく見えます。

よくニュースで見る家族間の殺人も

このパターンで起こるのがたくさんあります。

介護疲れから殺害

大体そんな見出しになります。

しかしこの小説でも分かりますが

自分の事ができなくなると

家族からの排除圧力がかかる人と

そうで無い人がいます。

その違いは子供たちの性格もありますが

大半はお年寄り自身の人格に起因します。

そして

どんなお年寄りが排除されるか？

一口で言えば自分勝手な人です。

自分では何も出来ないのに

家族を怒鳴り散らかす

なんてのは最悪です。

子供たちから嫌われるのも当然です。

ではどんな人たちがそうなか？

って言うと

まぁ一概に語るのも無理がありますが

今回の小説にもありましたが

高学歴の女性にその傾向がありますね。

沖縄の私の村でも

学校の先生だったお婆さん

たくさん孤独になる人がいます。

どうしてそうなるか？

って言えば

高学歴ゆえに

周りを見下すのです。

部落の行事でも

自分が仕切りたがりますが

学校とは違いますからね

いくら学歴が高くても命令調で押し付けられては

周りはたまった物ではありません

ですからそこでも排除圧力が働きますから

付き合いは狭くなります。

そしてデイサービスに行くようになると

そこではお年寄りが集まって

お遊戯をしたり歌を歌ったりしますから

幼稚園のような空間になります。

これも高学歴ゆえに馴染めず

もうデイサービスには行かない

そう言い出して家族を追い詰めるのです。

この話

本当にたくさんありますからね。

ですから

歳を取って孤独にならないためには

高学歴は孤独につながる

この原理はしっかり頭に入れて

日ごろから人を見下す傾向がある人は

ぜひ改めてもらいたいと思います。

私がこれまでたくさんのお客様と接してきて

自分の中で最悪な人間

そう思ってるのは

京都の小学校の女教師だった人です。

その人からすれば

私たち不動産屋は人間じゃない

って感じでしたね。

息子さんが逃げてしまいまった所までは分かりますが

関わりたくありませんからそれきりです。

その後どうなったか知りたい気もありますが

まぁ多分悲惨な最期だったのかこれから最期を迎えるのか分かりませんが

高学歴はそんな弊害もあるんだって事です。

In the novel I'm reading now, 

there is a scene where an elderly woman doesn't go to day care,

 and her family is pushed to the brink mentally.

This clearly shows the principle that even if a parent has lived with you for a long time, 

when they are no longer able to take care of themselves,

 pressure to exclude them arises within the family,

and when they resist that exclusion, it leads to hatred.

Many of the murders between family members we often see on the news also follow this pattern.

Murder due to caregiver fatigue

That's usually the headline.

However, as you can see from this novel, 

when someone is no longer able to take care of themselves, 

some people are pressured into exclusion by their family and others are not.

The difference is due to the personality of the children,

but most of the time it is due to the personality of the elderly themselves.

And what kind of elderly people are excluded?

In a word, it's the selfish ones.

It's the worst when someone can't do anything for themselves but still yells at their family.

It's no wonder that their children dislike them.

So what kind of people are they?

Well, it's difficult to generalize,

but as was the case in this novel, 

there is a tendency for this to happen to highly educated women. 

Even in my village in Okinawa, there are many lonely people, including an old lady who used to be a school teacher.

Why does this happen?

It's because they are highly educated

and look down on others.

They want to take charge of events in the community,

 but it's not like school.

No matter how highly educated they are, if they are forced to do things in an orderly manner,

it's not good for others.

So there is also pressure to exclude,

As a result their social circle becomes narrow.

And when they start going to day care,

the elderly gather there to play games and sing songs, 

so it becomes a kindergarten-like environment.

Again, because they are highly educated, 

they can't fit in, 

and they say they're not going to day care anymore, 

which puts their families in a corner.

There are so many stories like this.

So, in order to avoid becoming lonely as you get older,

you need to keep in mind the principle that a high level of education leads to loneliness, 

and if you have a tendency to look down on others, 

it is better to change your attitude.

I have interacted with many customers, 

and the person I think is the worst person was a female elementary school teacher in Kyoto.

From that person's perspective,

we real estate agents are not human.

I understand her son ran away,

but I don't want to get involved, so that's it.

I would like to know what happened after that,

but I don't know if she ended up a tragic life

anyway I want to say is that highly educated can have its downsides.