By Terrence McNally comments_image 7 COMMENTS
Who's Happier ― Renter or Owner? Uncovering the Myths of Happiness
An interview with Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of 'The Myths of Happiness.'
February 26, 2014
幸せに関する社会心理学的調査に関する記事。
期待しなかったとき、嬉しいことが起きたときが一番幸せ、持ち家より、借家住まいのひとのほうが幸せ、男性より女性のほうがセックスについて冒険してみたい、喫煙習慣より、不幸な結婚生活のほうが心臓病には悪い、などなど。
常日頃、親切心から行動する人は幸せ、感謝する人は幸せ、などなどーーー日常に起きていること中で、いいことに目を向けることで、幸せな気分になれるのだそうである。
面白いのは、幸福も不幸も、慣れ、というものがあって、鮮度、効果は薄れていくというもの。
例えば、離婚したら、不幸になるように思うが、その生活にも慣れて、それほど不幸を感じなくなるし、また、金持になれば、確かに、貧乏人より、幸せを感じるが、その差はたいしたことがなく、身の安全が確保され、雨梅しのげて、明日のおまんまに心配することもなければ、金持と貧乏人が感じる幸せに大差はないんだ、と。
贅沢な暮らしも慣れて、それほど幸せを感じなくなる、と（ーーーざっ、ざまあみろ！）
身障者になったからといって、不幸せであると思っているとは限らないが、、悪化する病気や痛みを伴う病気などをもっている場合には、幸せを感じるのが難しい、と
若いから幸せとは限らないーーー悩みも多いんでしょうねーーー若い人より年配のひとのほうが幸せである、と感じている、と。
一生シングルでも、友達がいれば、妻、夫持ちと、幸せの度合いは変わらない、と。
子供ができたときには、幸せの絶頂だが、５歳以下の子供をもっているのは、かなりたいへんな時期で、また、十代の子育てをしているときも、あまり幸せは感じない、と。
Who's Happier ― Renter or Owner? Uncovering the Myths of Happiness
An interview with Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of 'The Myths of Happiness.'
February 26, 2014
1. Unexpected pleasures are the most rewarding. True or false?
2. Daily hassles impact our well-being more than major life events. True or false?
3. When it comes to sex, women require more novelty than men. True or false?
4. A smoking habit is not a bigger risk factor for heart disease as a troubled marriage. True or false?
5. Renters are happier than homeowners. True or false?
According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, all 5 statements are true. Yup, renters are happier and women want more novelty in sex than men. All based in science.
We find that people who do acts of kindness on a regular basis, become happier while the control group does not become happier.
Usually our control group does something neutral.
In another study, we ask people to write a letter of gratitude each week to someone who’s helped you in your life, and that’s also a very powerful producer of happiness.
McNally: These experiments involve acts of kindness or generosity or gratitude, and it strikes me that, whether from religion or grandma, everyone has always recommended such behavior. So, with your experiments, you’re saying these are not just old wives’ tales; they actually work.
Lyubomirsky: It depends, but we find that for depressed individuals, something very simple works better. For example, write down three good things that happened today. Although writing a gratitude letter may involve a lot of introspection, no matter how depressed you are, you can come up with “it was a sunny day today.”
There are two categories of myths that I talk about. First, people think “Well I’m not happy now, but I will be happy when…X, Y and Z happen. When I get married, when I have a baby, when I get that job I’ve always wanted, when I strike it rich, when I move to that city I always wanted to live in, THEN I’ll be happy”.
The problem is that those things do make people happy, but they don’t make them happy for as long or as intensely as they think they will. I have a few chapters in the book about that myth. The second myth is about things that we think will make us miserable forever: “Oh, if I got a divorce, I would never recover. If I became ill, I’d be miserable forever. If I didn’t find a life partner or I didn’t make as much money as I thought I needed, I’d be unhappy for ever.” Those are myths as well.
On average, people recover very well after divorce, for example. You’re miserable for a while, I think the average is about four to five years. Then you rebound and become quite a bit happier than you were in that bad relationship. With money, people get used to simplifying their lives. I’m not talking about poverty where you aren’t meeting your basic needs. With aging, a lot of us think, oh my God, I don’t want to get old, but it turns out older people are happier. We think we’d be miserable if we were single, and it turns out single people are just as happy as married people.
Lyubomirsky: Probably the least happy are young people, teenagers or 20s. Wouldn’t it be great to be 25 again? No it wouldn’t. People become emotionally wiser as they get older.
You see the relationship at pretty much every level. Someone who makes a million dollars a year is happier than someone who makes $700,000 a year, but that difference is not very big. There is a correlation but it’s a small correlation.
The biggest jump is once you have your basic needs met. If you’re poor enough that you worry about your rent, about having food on the table, living in a safe neighborhood, etc. that makes you very unhappy. Once you have your basic needs met, then more money just makes you a little bit happier.
One of the reasons for that is called “hedonic adaptation,” and it’s a major theme of my book. We adapt to what we have. We get a raise so we move into a bigger house and buy a nicer car - and we get used to it. We start taking it for granted and then we want more and more and more.
McNally: Education?
Lyubomirsky: Zero correlation with education and happiness.
If you become disabled – let’s say you lose a leg or you lose your eyesight - it’s really traumatic at first, but people get used to it over time, and can lead happy, full lives. But if your condition is worsening, you never get used to it.
Married people are definitely happier than people who are widowed, divorced or separated. We’re talking here about people who’ve been consistently married, not those who are on their third or fourth marriage. Compare consistently married versus consistently single,
and there’s no difference in happiness. We’ve done studies of lifelong single women, and they have many very close friendships, lots of activities, work, hobbies that they get meaning from. You don’t need an intimate partner to be happy.
When you get pregnant and have your first child, there’s a boost of happiness. Then it tends to decrease and there’s not a huge difference over time. The hardest part is when you have children under age five. Marital happiness or relationship happiness is fairly low at that point. Having teenagers is also an unhappy time
The empty nest is a time of greater happiness. These studies are all a little bit problematic, but overall, parents report more meaning in their life than people who don’t have children. We find that parents who are relatively older, married and employed, are happier than people who do not have children. Young parents and single parents, however, don’t tend to be happier than non-parents.
McNally: Religious or spiritual versus non-religious?
Lyubomirsky: Religious or spiritual people are happier than people who are not, but the key question is “Why?” And there are two reasons. First, religious and spiritual people tend to have better social support. They might have stronger relationships or a bigger community they rely on, especially in times of stress or adversity. They also report more purpose in life, which also helps them deal with adversity
Why is it that gratitude makes people happy? We found that people who express gratitude report more positive events in their life. Imagine writing a letter to your mother thanking her for everything she did for you, or writing a letter the next week to your former mentor or teacher. What does that do? It actually creates positivity in your life. It can actually make you feel closer to your parents or your mentors or your friends.
Why is it that we’re more attuned to negative things? It’s adaptive first, in order to notice the snake. Why is it that we’re attuned to novelty as opposed to familiarity? Because novelty might be a signal of a danger or a reward or an opportunity in the environment.
幸せに関する社会心理学的調査に関する記事。
期待しなかったとき、嬉しいことが起きたときが一番幸せ、持ち家より、借家住まいのひとのほうが幸せ、男性より女性のほうがセックスについて冒険してみたい、喫煙習慣より、不幸な結婚生活のほうが心臓病には悪い、などなど。
常日頃、親切心から行動する人は幸せ、感謝する人は幸せ、などなどーーー日常に起きていること中で、いいことに目を向けることで、幸せな気分になれるのだそうである。
面白いのは、幸福も不幸も、慣れ、というものがあって、鮮度、効果は薄れていくというもの。
例えば、離婚したら、不幸になるように思うが、その生活にも慣れて、それほど不幸を感じなくなるし、また、金持になれば、確かに、貧乏人より、幸せを感じるが、その差はたいしたことがなく、身の安全が確保され、雨梅しのげて、明日のおまんまに心配することもなければ、金持と貧乏人が感じる幸せに大差はないんだ、と。
贅沢な暮らしも慣れて、それほど幸せを感じなくなる、と（ーーーざっ、ざまあみろ！）
身障者になったからといって、不幸せであると思っているとは限らないが、、悪化する病気や痛みを伴う病気などをもっている場合には、幸せを感じるのが難しい、と
若いから幸せとは限らないーーー悩みも多いんでしょうねーーー若い人より年配のひとのほうが幸せである、と感じている、と。
一生シングルでも、友達がいれば、妻、夫持ちと、幸せの度合いは変わらない、と。
子供ができたときには、幸せの絶頂だが、５歳以下の子供をもっているのは、かなりたいへんな時期で、また、十代の子育てをしているときも、あまり幸せは感じない、と。
