理想の裏側-Backside of ideal

理想像が無いと目標を設定できない。
Without ideal image a goal cannot be set.

現状に満足していれば
Being satisfied status in current

維持することが主になり
to be stayed in it becomes the main

現状と異なる理想を持つ必要が無くなる。
no longer to have the necessity of seeking ideal

which differ from current.

私がここまでやってこれたのも
The reason how I could have got through
to be what I wanted to become

常に理想を追い求め
do pursuing the ideal

現状と理想のギャップの間で
 in the gap between real and ideal

迷い続けても理想を選んだからだ。
I chose the ideal even with confusing.

その挟間の間で見えてきたのは、
What I could see among the gaps was

理想を持つことによって
by having an ideal

苦しみや格闘が生じることだ。
 the ideal itself causes suffering and struggle.

学業や業績を成就させる際に生じる苦悩は
The suffering that caused by to fulfil academic or achievement

納得できて、割と簡単に解決できることに対し、
it is convincing and comparably can be solved easily

人間関係を育む中で生じる苦悩は

 the anguish caused by relationships to enrich

その因果関係でさえよく見えないので厄介だ。
it makes trouble to see through the causes and results.

例えば、理想の愛を求めて結婚をしても
For example, even though got married to have ideal love life

理想像がお互い違うため
since ideal image differs each other

新婚ほやほやが冷めてからの何気ない日常は
the ordinary after cool down hot-honeymoon syndrome

探し求めた愛に満ちた絵のようにはいかないだろう。
it would not work as imagined like a painting which filled with love.

人々はそれら人間関係の外れに出会った時
When people encountered out of hit in a relationship

自分の選択が間違い
they tend to think that the choice was wrong

相性が合わない
or chemical is not fit

相手が自分に釣り合わないなどと思うがちだが
the appose is not match with me etcetera

考え方を少しずらして、出発原点から見直すと
but changed the angle of thinking a bit and
review from the origin of start point

理想像のずれがそれらの根源であると見分けられる。
can find out that the root was the bias of ideal image.

自分の理想を相手に植え付けることは不可能で
it is impossible to install own’s ideal onto someone

自分にとって良しと見なす感情状態を相手に同じく
感じさせるのも無理があるだろう。
similarly almost impossible to make opponent feel same
that emotionally regarded as good.

理想の裏舞台はそう華やかではないのだ。
The backstage of ideal is not so gorgeous.

だが、理想をありのままに直視し、
However, looking directly at the ideal as it is

それらを追及する過程で摩擦が生じることを承知の上、
with awareness that a friction would be accrued
in the process of pursuing ideal

相手の理想像も理解しようとすれば、
also with trying to understand opponent’s ideal if possible

少なくとも心の苦悩は減らすことはできる。
at least the mental agony can be reduced.

その手伝いとして最も頼れるヘルパーは
As to be support that the most reliable helper will be

坐禅を組んでからこそ見えてくる
自分という名前がついた超自我だろう。
can see whom through doing zen-meditation
the one will be the super-ego named self.