Hello Rio,
I’m writing to you believing that you are reading as I write. I am writing things out of my head not consulting with a dictionary or the like, so I’m pretty sure that I will make a lot of grammatical errors. One time, when we were arguing about something and you attacked me for my misused words, which you didn’t accept my excuse that I was a learner of English and because of that, I made such a mistake. You said, “Dad, come on! You are a linguist and you mistakenly used that word?” Remember? Honestly, I made a mistake in picking the right word and you were pissed at that. Now, let me repeat that. I am still a learner of English and I make mistakes in grammar and in selecting the right words. I’m not like you, a native speaker of English. So bear with me when I say something strange or make some grammatical errors. I just want you to understand what I mean by the words and my heartfelt feelings about things about you and what happened this time.
I am sharing this letter with my blog readers as they are interested in developing their English skills and through reading my letter to you, they might learn something about English and possibly a sub-culture knowing you and me and our cultural background. You can contribute to their learning even after you are gone. Isn’t it great, Rio? Hope you’ll find it the same.
Now let’s get to the point. Yesterday, Tuesday, May 19, 2020, when I got a phone call from your mother, yes, your mother, from America, and she told me that you died. She told me that three policemen came to her house and she was told that you were carried to the hospital from your home and died from overdose of drugs. I was so shocked to hear that and at the moment, I couldn’t believe what she said. You died? Are you listening or reading this alright, Rio? How did that happen?
I kind of know that you took a heavy dose of a drug in order to relieve you back pain. Correct? And unexpectedly your heart stopped. Or, you knew what might have happened? I hope the right answer is the former one. If so, how stupid you were! That stupidity took you to heaven carrying, however, no pain anymore in your body. That was a good thing for you, though so painful to us left behind mourning for your loss.
Are you okay out there? Have you met your grandpa and grandma already? I have reported your death yesterday to both of them and asked them to welcome you and take good care of you. I told them that you would be there in a shape not in your thirties, but in your childhood as they only remember you as you were a small kid with short hair and cute face. So, don’t show your real face when you died, for they would not be able to recognize you with that face. Okay? Promise.
Your mother went to your apartment and met your girlfriend and heard about you in recent days. You had a tough time for the past couple of months, didn’t you? I have been waiting for your next email message since I got one in late March. You told me that you would let me know how things would be as far as the impact of the coronavirus out there in Illinois. You have failed to do so, Rio. I was waiting for that kind of report, not the report of your death. Well, I forgive you for that now. At any rate, I am so sorry that you were in an excruciating pain in the back, for which the doctor told you that they could not do anything any longer. Right? Your girlfriend told that to your mother. I wish I could have done something if I had known the situation. I may not have been able to do anything, to be honest, but I feel terrible about that right now.
Your memorial service will be held tomorrow, Rio, and you will be cremated and become ashes. Your mother asked me if I want some of your ashes, but I said no. I don’t need your ashes, as you are not in the ashes. You are in me, in my mind and memory. I am okay with that. Is that okay, Rio? I will put up a picture stand with your picture and put it side by side with the one with my parents’ picture. They are smiling in that, so you too, you got to smile, Rio. That’s a promise. All right? Then, every morning, I say good morning to you as well as to the parents, your grandpa and grandma. Be good, Rio, with them in heaven and get along well, please.
I stop here, Rio, and I will write to you again, tomorrow. Please know that you will be cremated tomorrow and your mother, your beloved girlfriend, and probably some of your friends whom I don’t know will be attending your funeral. Be good and say farewell to all of them with a big smile in your heart. By the way, you will be in the coffin wearing what you wanted to wear and with maybe something you love to be with. So do not worry a bit. You will have a wonderful ceremony with a lot of tears shed on your face. I have cried a lot already and I will do the same once in a while when I remember you.
You have lived your life to the best of your abilities, Rio, and even though the way you died wasn’t what I wanted to see, but, you did your best and I am proud of it. I miss you very much and I love you as much or more as you loved me. Thank you for having been my son and I wish you all the best in your next life and in the meantime, I will be with you not in such a long time, so when we meet, let us talk a lot and enjoy something together. Oh, about the watch you have left for me. Thank you so much! Your mother will send it to me with your jacket and a picture sometime soon. I will wear it and take good care of it and treat it dearly as I see and remember you every time I check the time. Thank you, Rio.
I will write to you again, Rio, and until next time, rest in peace out there in the heaven.
To my son, Rio.
From Your Dad
I’m writing to you believing that you are reading as I write. I am writing things out of my head not consulting with a dictionary or the like, so I’m pretty sure that I will make a lot of grammatical errors. One time, when we were arguing about something and you attacked me for my misused words, which you didn’t accept my excuse that I was a learner of English and because of that, I made such a mistake. You said, “Dad, come on! You are a linguist and you mistakenly used that word?” Remember? Honestly, I made a mistake in picking the right word and you were pissed at that. Now, let me repeat that. I am still a learner of English and I make mistakes in grammar and in selecting the right words. I’m not like you, a native speaker of English. So bear with me when I say something strange or make some grammatical errors. I just want you to understand what I mean by the words and my heartfelt feelings about things about you and what happened this time.
I am sharing this letter with my blog readers as they are interested in developing their English skills and through reading my letter to you, they might learn something about English and possibly a sub-culture knowing you and me and our cultural background. You can contribute to their learning even after you are gone. Isn’t it great, Rio? Hope you’ll find it the same.
Now let’s get to the point. Yesterday, Tuesday, May 19, 2020, when I got a phone call from your mother, yes, your mother, from America, and she told me that you died. She told me that three policemen came to her house and she was told that you were carried to the hospital from your home and died from overdose of drugs. I was so shocked to hear that and at the moment, I couldn’t believe what she said. You died? Are you listening or reading this alright, Rio? How did that happen?
I kind of know that you took a heavy dose of a drug in order to relieve you back pain. Correct? And unexpectedly your heart stopped. Or, you knew what might have happened? I hope the right answer is the former one. If so, how stupid you were! That stupidity took you to heaven carrying, however, no pain anymore in your body. That was a good thing for you, though so painful to us left behind mourning for your loss.
Are you okay out there? Have you met your grandpa and grandma already? I have reported your death yesterday to both of them and asked them to welcome you and take good care of you. I told them that you would be there in a shape not in your thirties, but in your childhood as they only remember you as you were a small kid with short hair and cute face. So, don’t show your real face when you died, for they would not be able to recognize you with that face. Okay? Promise.
Your mother went to your apartment and met your girlfriend and heard about you in recent days. You had a tough time for the past couple of months, didn’t you? I have been waiting for your next email message since I got one in late March. You told me that you would let me know how things would be as far as the impact of the coronavirus out there in Illinois. You have failed to do so, Rio. I was waiting for that kind of report, not the report of your death. Well, I forgive you for that now. At any rate, I am so sorry that you were in an excruciating pain in the back, for which the doctor told you that they could not do anything any longer. Right? Your girlfriend told that to your mother. I wish I could have done something if I had known the situation. I may not have been able to do anything, to be honest, but I feel terrible about that right now.
Your memorial service will be held tomorrow, Rio, and you will be cremated and become ashes. Your mother asked me if I want some of your ashes, but I said no. I don’t need your ashes, as you are not in the ashes. You are in me, in my mind and memory. I am okay with that. Is that okay, Rio? I will put up a picture stand with your picture and put it side by side with the one with my parents’ picture. They are smiling in that, so you too, you got to smile, Rio. That’s a promise. All right? Then, every morning, I say good morning to you as well as to the parents, your grandpa and grandma. Be good, Rio, with them in heaven and get along well, please.
I stop here, Rio, and I will write to you again, tomorrow. Please know that you will be cremated tomorrow and your mother, your beloved girlfriend, and probably some of your friends whom I don’t know will be attending your funeral. Be good and say farewell to all of them with a big smile in your heart. By the way, you will be in the coffin wearing what you wanted to wear and with maybe something you love to be with. So do not worry a bit. You will have a wonderful ceremony with a lot of tears shed on your face. I have cried a lot already and I will do the same once in a while when I remember you.
You have lived your life to the best of your abilities, Rio, and even though the way you died wasn’t what I wanted to see, but, you did your best and I am proud of it. I miss you very much and I love you as much or more as you loved me. Thank you for having been my son and I wish you all the best in your next life and in the meantime, I will be with you not in such a long time, so when we meet, let us talk a lot and enjoy something together. Oh, about the watch you have left for me. Thank you so much! Your mother will send it to me with your jacket and a picture sometime soon. I will wear it and take good care of it and treat it dearly as I see and remember you every time I check the time. Thank you, Rio.
I will write to you again, Rio, and until next time, rest in peace out there in the heaven.
To my son, Rio.
From Your Dad