Timed Lines

The right line at the right time is a thing of beauty. Memorize these tried-and-true replies for any situation.
It's Thanksgiving dinner, and your Luddite uncle Ralph is at it again about how science is bunk:
"I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road." (Stephen Hawking, physicist)
"The only people who still call hurricanes acts of God are the people who write insureance forms."
"acts of God" (Oxford English Dictionary): An instance of uncontrollable natural forces in operation (often used in insurance claims)
(from Reader'd Digest, Oct. 2016 COMPLETE GUIDE TO witticisms Quips RETORTS)