When I was a boy
The moon was a pearl
The sun a yellow gold
When I was a man
The wind blew cold
The hills were upside down
But now that I have gone from here
There's no place I'd rather be
Than to float my chances
On the tide
Back in the good old world
On October's last
I'll fly back home
Rolling down winding way
Scarecrows are
All dressed in rags
Out at the edge of the field I lay
And all I've got's a pocketful
Of flowers on my grave
Oh, but summer is gone
I remember it best
Back in the good old world
All I've got's a pocketful
Of flowers on my grave
Oh, but summer is gone
And I remember it best
Back in the good old
World#
Oh.
Thanks.
Hello?
Oh, hi.
How
- Oh, I just got in.
No, I mean I literally
just stepped off the plane.
I'm not even in the terminal yet.
What's wrong?
Fucking assholes! Where
the f*ck have you been?
You know, we have missed one plane,
and now we're gonna miss another one!
You know, this is my ass on the line,
and if I lose my job because of you crazy-
Hey. That's 30 bucks.
Here you go. Keep the change.
Come on, guys. Let's
- What are you doing?
Hello? Could we please go?
All right. Let's go. Let's go. Let's -
Come on, you guys. Get it
together. It's this way.
Okay. Okay. I'll call him.
No, I promise I'll call him
just as soon as I get my luggage.
Oh, no, I'm really
looking forward to it.
Thank you.
Damn.
The white zone is for immediate loading...
and unloading of passengers only.
No parking.
Yeah, this is Corky, car number
Hello. Victoria Snelling
calling for Mr. Pitt.
Yes, I can wait.
Hey, Ray. It's me,
Corky. I'm phoning in.
Yeah, I'm out at the airport.
Oh, I don't know. It's the
executive terminal or something.
I don't know. I've
never been here before.
No, man. Everything's cool.
But listen. This car
runs like shit, man.
I had to pull the plugs
myself this afternoon.
Yeah, I know I'm not, but you better
tell Gonzalez to get his ass in gear...
or else I'm gonna have to
be your fucking mechanic.
Larry. Larry, Victoria.
Yes. I'm
- I'm at the airport. Excuse all the noise.
I'm
- I'm at the baggage claim.
Well, I
- I, um -
I'm hoping that you have some good news
for me about that last actress I sent you.
No, man. Everything's great.
In fact, I got a really big tip
from these, like, musician dudes.
Hey, Ray. Have you ever heard
of a band called Utensil?
No, listen. I brought
back seven tapes...
of - of the most sensational
young actresses in the country.
No, not just New York. Uh, Chicago...
Minneapolis, Seattle...
San Francisco.
Hey, they're all unknown. Yes.
Oh, they're wonderful.
They are just so wonderful.
I -
I:
- I like them all.
It
- It really has to be your decision.
You know, why don't I bring them by?
- I'll just stop by my house for a few minutes and
then I'll come right over. - Yeah, I got you, Ray.
We'll sit down, and we'll
look at 'em together, okay?
- Okay. I'll get a fare here, then I'll
head back downtown. - Take it easy.
- You're just gonna love one of these kids.
- Don't worry about nothin', boss.
Relax, okay? See you in a few.
Hey, Ray. I'm not a kid, okay?
Yeah.
Shit.
Hey, you need a cab, lady?
- Yeah, I guess I do.
- Yeah, I'm right here.
- You're a taxi driver?
- Yeah.
Okay. I, uh -
Yeah. Why not?
The white zone is for immediate
loading and unloading of passengers only.
No parking. Do not leave
your car unattended.
Due to the curb security alert...
all unattended cars may
be towed away immediately.
For your safety and security...
do not leave your baggage unattended.
Be careful with that, will you? I'm
a little in love with my luggage.
No problem, lady.
Ah, ah! I'll carry
that with me. Thank you.
Okay.
Thank you.
Let me get -
- I need that leg.
- Sorry.
- Just take it.
- Sorry.
- Yeah.
- You in?
Yes. Thank you.
The white zone is for immediate
loading and unloading of passengers only.
Oh, shit.
- What? What's wrong?
- Oh, f*ck.
Nothin'. Damn it.
Where to?
Beverly Hills, please.
Uh, 6754.
Damn!
What's the matter?
Oh, I left my phone book back in the
suitcase with all my numbers in it.
- I'm afraid we'll have to
pull over- - Is it listed?
- Listed? - Yes, it's a - it's
a hotel I've called a million -
Why, thank you. Thank you.
No problem. Just pass it
back up when you're done.
Are you okay without it up there?
Don't worry about it.
Suite 216, please.
Carol. Victoria.
Yes. I, uh
- I just spoke to him.
Oh, he's going nuts as usual.
Ricocheting off the walls.
I don't know what to
do with him anymore.
I sent him 10 actresses
who were perf-Well...
six of them were perfect.
But he just keeps
- he keeps wanting them younger and younger.
Now he wants someone 18 with
absolutely no experience...
but the nerves of a paratrooper.
He's not human. I think he's an android.
Yeah.
- Listen. I'm gonna have to go
over there with those tapes..
- I brought back from, uh - -
Gonna have a fine vacation
Carol, I - I,
uh - I'm going -
I - I'm supposed to have dinner
with Peter and Shera tonight.
- But - -I've got to take my
problems to the United Nations
Will you hold on a second, please? Miss.
- I done called my congressman#
- Would you please, uh...
just turn the music off?
Sure, mom.
Thank you.
This is my day.
Okay. Where were we?
Oh, yes. W-Will you call them and
explain and tell them why I can't?
Great.
Listen. Were there any messages for me?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Carol...
did Mr. Kincade call?
You're sure?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay then. I will, um -
I'll
- I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Great. Bye-bye.
Is Mr. Kincade, like, your boyfriend?
Yes, he is.
At least I think he is.
Guys
- Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.
Yeah. You can say that again.
Oh, your phone book. Here. Thanks a lot.
Sure.
Boy, it sure gets dark fast
in the winter, doesn't it?
Driving at night doesn't
seem to bother you.
Why should it?
Oh, with me it's a big
problem. I have night blindness.
Is that, like, something
that happens when you get old?
No. No. Actually, it isn't. Uh -
It has nothing to do with
age. I've had it all my life.
Fuckin'-A, man. That's fucked.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
You know, it really isn't any of
my business, but you smoke too much.
Okay, mom.
You're really happy driving
this taxi, aren't you?
F*ck yes.
I mean, yeah. It's a cool job.
But, I mean, is that
your whole goal in life?
Driving taxicabs?
Is there somethin' wrong with that?
No, no, no. I'm
sorry. I - I -
I really didn't mean
that the way it sounded.
Yeah, well, I'll tell you somethin'.
I don't always want to be a cabdriver.
- What do you really want to be?
- A mechanic.
A mechanic?
I practically know all
there is to know about it.
Both my brothers are mechanics.
They're older than me, but, you know,
'cause I'm, like, a girl, and I'm, like...
still kind of young and all, I gotta
kind of, like, work up to it, you know.
What about
marriage and a family?
Definitely.
Definitely want a family.
Boys though. Lots of boys.
No girls?
Girls are nice too, I think.
Yeah. Maybe some girls too.
But, you know, like, that stuff
- that's all beside the point.
The real problem is to find
a good guy for the father.
Tell me about it.
Well, I'm real particular, you know.
And I'm also patient enough.
I mean, at least I hope I am.
'Cause, you know - I don't know - maybe
you gotta wait a while, you know...
'cause, like, maybe it's not so easy to
find, like, the exact right guy, you know.
Like, the one guy, you know?
No.
- Another mechanic maybe.
- Hell, I don't care what he does.
As long as he loves me right.
With his soul.
You know, takes me for who I am.
I know what you mean.
Like Popeye says, "I am what I am."
Right?
Yes. You certainly are.
Hello? Oh, hi, Marty.
Yes. I talked to him.
Of course I know what he wants.
I've heard it a hundred times.
Oh, Marty. Go ahead. Just tell me again.
Try driving school, you fucking nimrod!
Marty...
I may be having a brilliant
streak right here in the taxi.
Yes, I'm really in a taxi.
No, I can't tell you right now.
Um...
all I can say is...
I have an idea.
No. That's why I don't
tell you things, Marty.
I'm sorry I sound calm. I
assure you I'm hysterical.
I'll call you the
minute I know anything.
Good-bye, Mar-
Good-bye, Marty.
All right. This is Beverly
Drive coming up. Where to?
Uh, just turn right on Beverly Court...
then follow the hill up
to Beverly Circle, please.
Got ya.
It's up on the left. 971.
- Want me to take these in the house
for you? - No. Uh, that's okay.
- Just put 'em over there, please.
- No, I got it. It's my job.
No -
Okay, that'll be, um, 33 bucks, please.
Okay. Uh, no. Keep the
- Keep the change.
- Listen
- - Thanks.
Can I ask you something?
Now, this is gonna sound a
little crazy to you, but, uh -
Well, I'm a casting agent.
That means that I go
out and I find people.
You know, for really big movies.
And I've been observing you.
And I - I honestly think
you have something special.
As a matter of fact, I'm casting a part right
- right now that I think you'd be perfect for.
This is a
- a terrific part.
You could be a movie star.
- What, like right now?
- Well, yeah.
I really wouldn't want
to do that, you know.
I mean, I have a job. I really wouldn't
want to lose this job, you know.
I really wouldn't want to f*ck
things up right now, you know.
You understand, right?
Well...
let's not be hasty.
Um, I'm - I'm - I'm serious
about this, you know.
I just want to be sure you
understand what I'm offering you.
Yeah, but, you know, I'm a cabdriver.
You know, this is what I do.
Like I told you, I'm
gonna be a mechanic.
I don't want to press
you. I really don't. Um -
But I just want to make
sure that I understand.
Are you saying that you -
you just wouldn't be interested
in being a movie star?
- Nah.
- Hey, you could be a mechanic later.
Everyone wants to be a movie star.
Look, lady. You know, I
like the movies and all.
And -And I see you're
being serious, you know.
But that's not a real
life for me. You know?
I mean, I'm sure there's tons of girls
who wanna be in the movies and all...
and, you know, I -
I'm not saying it right.
It's just that I have everything
planned out for me, you know?
I mean, everything's going
just right for me now.
Well, you can't beat that, can you?
Nope.
But, you know,
I mean, I appreciate it.
- Thanks for the tip.
- You bet.
- Take it easy.
- Sure, mom.
Oh, shut up.
Taxi! Yeah.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, taxi! Shit.
Gotta get a taxi, man.
Here we go. Taxi!
Taxi! Yo, man. Right here.
Right here. Whoo! Right.
This is the ticket. Yo, what's up?
Brooklyn.
Brooklyn, man. Yo!
Yo, man! You suck, man!
I got your plate number!
I'm gonna call the T.L.C.I
Come on, man. Somebody pick me up.
Yeah. Come on. Pick me up. What's -
There's a million fuckin' cabs out here.
Cash, man.
Yeah. That's the ticket.
This is gonna get me home.
Shit. It's gonna get my ass home, man.
I got cash, man!
Taxi. Look. I got the cash right here.
Taxi. Come on, man.
Come on, man!
What -What -
F*ck all y'all!
No, you ain't gettin' -You ain't takin'
my cab now. You ain't takin' my cab.
That's right. Just keep
walkin'. Yeah. That's right.
Shit. They know you desperate. That's
all it is. What am I, invisible, man?
I don't give a f*ck. Get me a
taxi. Have my name on it too.
You go to Brooklyn?
Hello. How are you?
I wanna go to Brooklyn.
Uh, come in, sir.
All right.
- You know how to get to Brooklyn?
- "Brookland"?
Uh, better you show me.
Yeah. All right. Look.
Phew. Go straight down Broadway,
and then I'll explain as we go.
Hey, what's up?
What? You new at this? You
- You got - You got it in park.
Hey, man. You gotta put it in drive.
"D."
"D"! "D" is to drive.
- Put the motherfucker in drive!
- Yeah, yeah. "D" is to drive.
So -
Okay.
Hey, what's -What you
doin', man? Hey, what - Hey!
Hey.
- Hey, man. What's wrong with the car? Hey.
- It's automatic.
Hey. No, no, man. It ain't automatic.
Yo. Yo, man. What's wrong with-
Hey, look. What's - What's up, man?
- It's automatic.
- Pull over, man!
Just pull the f*ck over! Yeah.
Pull over right here, man.
Shit.
What?
Hey, man. I don't think this shit's gonna
work out, man. I'm gonna get me another cab.
Oh, no, no. Please. Please.
You are -You are my-
my most best customer.
No, man. Look, you ain't takin' me
to Brooklyn. You can't even drive!
But you want taxi.
I am a taxi. I am here. Taxi.
I know you are a taxi. But
I'm gonna get me another taxi.
But no. No. Uh -
It's important. It's
very, very important to me.
We go.
Man.
Yeah.
All right. All right.
I'll go to Brooklyn, all
right? We will go to Brooklyn.
But you let me drive.
See, I drive and you ride.
I'll pay the fare and all that.
But I drive.
No. No. It's -
- What do you mean, no?
- It's not allowed. Not allowed.
Look. Yeah, it's
allowed. This is New York.
New
- Okay.
Good.
New York. New York.
New York.
Big trouble.
Big trouble.
In big fucking trouble.
- Do you understand?
- Yeah.
- Do you understand what I
am - what I am saying? - Yeah.
Please drive careful.
Uh, drive
- drive careful.
- Yo, man. I know how to
drive. - No - No accident.
- No accident. Get in.
- No accident.
But don't tell. Don't tell.
- Who am I gonna tell, man? Look- -
- Look, man. Just relax, all right?
- Job. Go.
Just wait a minute, all right? Look at
this. You didn't even turn the meter on.
First thing you gotta do is
turn that fuckin' meter on.
See, it turns the light off on
top. That means you're occupied.
I am -Yes, I am oc -
occupied. Occupied. Yes. There.
Then you gotta put it in "D." You see?
I - I know that.
Hey, don't be saying nothing
bad, man. I understand that shit.
- Put it in "D." "D" is for drive.
- Ja.
Just -Just chill out, all right?
Damn, man!
It's nice.
It's New York. It's cool.
Ja. It's cold. It's cool.
Nah, nah, nah. You know,
it's hip. It's cool. It's happening.
Ah, I understand.
"It's cool is good.
Right.
Goes good. Goes good.
Yeah. Yeah. Goes good.
In English we say, "It's good to go."
- It's good to go.
- Yeah.
It's good to go. That's good.
It's good to go. It's good.
- Good to go.
- Yeah. Yeah, man. Just chill, all right?
We have the same
- We have the same hat.
- What?
- The same hat.
- No. No, no. Mine's different.
- Oh, no. It's the same hat.
- Mine's different, man. -
This is different here. This -
Mine's
- Mine's the newest, latest. Mine's fresh.
No. The ear things here. The same.
- Ear. This - - No, man.
Look, mine is the - the hype.
- What is this? Hype?
- The hype.
- What's a hype?
- It's fresh.
- Fresh. Fresh hat.
- It's the jammy. The newest, latest.
Fresh hat. It sounds good.
- Fresh hat.
- Right.
So where you from anyway?
From, uh, Germany.
Eastern Germany.
- Eastern Germany?
- Yeah.
From the city of Dresden, which
is close to Czechoslovakia. Uh -
Close to what?
Czechoslovakia.
Prague.
- Main town. Prague.
- Hmm.
Huh. What, you -you escape from there?
No, no. I was free to go.
You got a family over there?
I have no family.
So, uh...
what'd you do over there
before you came over here...
'cause I know you sure
didn't drive no cab!
I was a circus clown.
Get the f*ck outta here.
No, no, no. I
- Wait. I'll show you.
Here.
Oh, shit.
That's some bugged-out shit, man.
What's your name, man?
Helmut Grokenberger. Here.
There. You can read it. That's me.
Helmet?
Helmut.
- That's your name?
- Yeah.
That's a fucked-up name to
be naming your kid. Helmet.
See, 'cause in English,
a helmet would be, like -
you know, like something you
wear on your head, you know?
You know. A -A helmet.
In English, that'd be
like calling your kid, uh -
Oh, shit. Uh -
"Lampshade." Some shit like that.
No, but -
"Hey, Lampshade! Come here
and clean up your room!"
So, what's your name?
Yo Yo.
What?
Yo Yo. It's my name.
- Yo Yo?
- What? Yo Yo.
Yo Yo. Yo Yo.
Yo Yo.
Yo Yo. It's, uh
No, it - it ain't got nothing to do
with that. It's my name. Yo Yo.
It's a toy for ki -Yo Yo.
- Ain't got nothin' to do with that, man.
- Okay. Okay.
Your name Yo Yo. My name Helmut.
Yo Yo, Helmut.
- It's good.
- Helmet.
What?
What the f*ck is she doin' out here?
- Goddamn it!
- What has happened?
Damn.
There she goes again, man.
Fuckin' up again as usual.
What has happened?
Shit.
Just be cool, Helmet.
I'll be right back.
Angela! Angela!
Where the f*ck are you goin', man?
Where you goin'? What are you doin'?
What are you doing,
Yo Yo? Get the f*ck off me!
- Hey, don't be grabbing my clothes, man!
- Then get the f*ck off me, man!
Ain't nobody on the street. Where
you goin'? Where you steppin' to?
- What are you so concerned about what
the f*ck am I doing? - I'm concerned!
- Why you so fuckin' stupid?
- Party here. Party there. Always partyin'.
- It's none of your fuckin' business.
- It is my business. I'm family.
- You're not my family!
- You're supposed to be home with your husband.
- He knows where I'm at!
- I doubt if he knows where you're at.
He's
- Don't be touchin' me no more.
- I'm not touchin' you. Angela, listen
to me. All right? - What? What?
What's up with you? It's a
family thing, all right? Step off.
- Angela, come on.
- Oh, man.
- No, man. I don't -What
are you - - Come on.
- Don't be hittin' on me.
- Then get the f*ck off me, man!
Get in the car, Angela.
- Get in the fuckin' car. Come on.
- Who the f*ck are you - Get off!.
Get the f*ck off of me, man!
- Get the f*ck off of me!
- Get in the car. Get in the car.
Angela, just calm down. Just calm down.
- Get the f*ck off of me!
- Get in the car. Angela, get in the car.
Don't make me have to hurt you.
Don't be kickin' me. Don't be kickin'.
- Shit.
- What the f*ck are you doin'?
What you doin'?
Let me out of this car!
What the f*ck is your problem, man?
- What the f*ck is your fuckin'
problem, man? - You're my problem!
- No, you're my fuckin' problem.
- Angela, don't be cursin' me out.
- Well, f*ck you, f*ck you and f*ck you!
- Look, Angela. Just shut up!
No, you shut up. Don't
be telling me to shut up.
- Shut up!
- You shut up!
- No, you shut up!
- Shit.
You know what your
fuckin' problem is, Yo Yo?
You don't realize that you're
wearing your ass on your head.
Oh, hey, don't worry, Helmet,
man. It's just a family thing.
- You're not my fuckin' family.
- Look, I am your family.
- You ain't shit to me. - I'm
your brother-in-law, all right?
- Angela, just calm down!
- Don't tell me to calm down!
She's really beautiful. She's beautiful.
- Yeah, you think so, huh?
- Yes.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- What's your name?
- Helmet.
- His name is Helmet Lampshade or some
shit like that. - Oh, f*ck you, all right?
- Don't f*ck with me.
- No, no. My name is Helmut Grokenberger.
Here. You can read it.
Helmut Grokenberger.
Great.
I'm driving with a fuckin'
idiot and some clown.
Oh, yes. I am a clown.
Yeah, Angela. It's true.
- Shut up!
- No, it's true. Check it out.
- Shut up.
- Hey. Come on, Helmet. Show her.
- Do that horn thing you did, man.
- Ah, yes.
Yes.
That shit is so bugged, man!
What the hell are you doing?
- Thank you.
- See, what'd I tell you, Angela?
Helmet, man. Forget about her.
Check it out, man. Brooklyn
Bridge. Right over there.
Oh, that's -
That's
- That's beautiful.
All the lights.
Oh!
Like.
You got it, man.
- I'm the driver.
- Yeah.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
Is somebody gonna tell me what
the f*ck is goin' on around here?
- What you mean?
- What do I mean?
What the f*ck are you driving
this cab for, Yo Yo, huh?
And what's up with the fuckin' hats?
What is this, the fuckin'
Rocky and Bullwinkle show?
Yes, yes. We -We have
the same hats. Both.
Look. Just forget about
the hats. All right?
Look. It was Helmet's first day drivin'. He
drive like shit. All right? So I took over.
- Oh, you took over.
- Yeah.
You know, you're a fuckin' typical
control freak. You know that?
- Man! Shit.
- Look. Angela, just shut up, all right?
Don't tell me to shut up. I
already told you about that shit.
- I'm telling you to shut up.
- You shut up!
- Shut up!
- You shut up!
- Shut the f*ck up!
- You shut the f*ck up, all right?
Damn.
You're a fuckin' idiot,
Yo Yo. You know that?
Yo, you see the sign? It says,
"Sit back in case of short stops."
You never know. I might stop real short.
You better be careful, because if I get
hurt, I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass.
- Always got to have the last word, right?
- That's right.
- Right.
- That's right.
- Right.
- Right.
Damn!
Go ahead. Go ahead.
Say somethin'. Go ahead.
If you fuckin' stop talkin' to me, then
you won't have to hear my fuckin' mouth.
So why don't you shut the f*ck up, and then I won't
have to be talkin' all the time, you stupid idiot.
- Right.
- Oh, f*ck you.
Angela, f*ck you too.
You know what you like?
You're like a fuckin' Chihuahua,
always gnawing at my fuckin' ankles.
Yeah? Well, I'm gonna take a big fuckin'
bite out of your fuckin' ass then...
so you better watch
out for this little dog.
- Shit.
- Damn.
F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck.
- Nice family. Nice family.
- 'Cause he's an asshole. That's why.
- Yeah. Right.
- Huh?
Asshole. He's an asshole.
Asshole.
Check it out, Helmet. This is Brooklyn.
What you think, man?
Uh, it's great.
It's a dump.
Don't be sayin' shit like that,
Angela. It's our neighborhood.
Like I give a shit?
It's "Brookland."
You see, Helmet? This is where we live.
- Thanks for nothin', asshole.
- Don't be hittin' on me, Angela.
- Oh, shut up.
- No, you shut up.
Good-bye to you, Angela.
Good-bye to you
too, Helmet-head.
Good-bye.
- Hey, Yo Yo.
- What?
F*ck you!
- Take this.
- Oh, yes.
Hey. You should count that shit.
You should always count that shit.
Ja.
You see?
Ja.
It's a little less.
The meter say 13. I only gave you 12.
Yes.
It's New York, Helmet.
Money is -Ja. Money...
is not important for me.
I am a clown. I
- I need it.
It's not important... for me.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, you know how to get
back to Manhattan, Helmet?
Uh, we -
- No. No.
- Shit.
All right. You're gonna make the opposite
of every direction we made to get here.
So if - if we made a right, then this
time you're gonna make a left.
And if we made a left,
you're gonna make a right.
- Right?
- Ah, yeah. Two rights.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Helmet, look.
You go down there,
you make a right, then-
When you get to that wide street -
you know, that - that - that big one?
- Yeah.
- You're just gonna stop and ask somebody.
Okay. Okay, Mr. Lampshade.
No, no, no, man. No.
No, man. You be Mr. Lampshade.
- I be Mr. Lampshade?
- Yeah!
Okay. I be Mr. Lampshade.
Yeah.
Later for you, Helmet.
"D" is to drive.
Yeah. Yeah. You got it. Yeah.
"D." "D." "D" is to drive!
Learn some English, Helmet!
Right.
Right! Helmet, go right!
There's a nice family.
Left... or right?
Uh, two rights. Two -
No.
Huh?
Straight.
Here.
Ja, ja, ja.
New York.
New York.
- In the bag.
- In the bag.
You're quite a guy!
So am I.
We sure impressed that ambassador.
Ah!
He's been taken in.
More champagne! That's what we need.
The way we suckered him...
What are you doing?
What's the matter with you?
We told you to drive carefully.
We're important people.
Hell yes! Extremely important people.
If you only knew what's in this case.
Don't you tell him.
The Cameroon ambassador wants
to see us in the morning.
In one piece.
The moon was a pearl
The sun a yellow gold
When I was a man
The wind blew cold
The hills were upside down
But now that I have gone from here
There's no place I'd rather be
Than to float my chances
On the tide
Back in the good old world
On October's last
I'll fly back home
Rolling down winding way
Scarecrows are
All dressed in rags
Out at the edge of the field I lay
And all I've got's a pocketful
Of flowers on my grave
Oh, but summer is gone
I remember it best
Back in the good old world
All I've got's a pocketful
Of flowers on my grave
Oh, but summer is gone
And I remember it best
Back in the good old
World#
Oh.
Thanks.
Hello?
Oh, hi.
How
- Oh, I just got in.
No, I mean I literally
just stepped off the plane.
I'm not even in the terminal yet.
What's wrong?
Fucking assholes! Where
the f*ck have you been?
You know, we have missed one plane,
and now we're gonna miss another one!
You know, this is my ass on the line,
and if I lose my job because of you crazy-
Hey. That's 30 bucks.
Here you go. Keep the change.
Come on, guys. Let's
- What are you doing?
Hello? Could we please go?
All right. Let's go. Let's go. Let's -
Come on, you guys. Get it
together. It's this way.
Okay. Okay. I'll call him.
No, I promise I'll call him
just as soon as I get my luggage.
Oh, no, I'm really
looking forward to it.
Thank you.
Damn.
The white zone is for immediate loading...
and unloading of passengers only.
No parking.
Yeah, this is Corky, car number
Hello. Victoria Snelling
calling for Mr. Pitt.
Yes, I can wait.
Hey, Ray. It's me,
Corky. I'm phoning in.
Yeah, I'm out at the airport.
Oh, I don't know. It's the
executive terminal or something.
I don't know. I've
never been here before.
No, man. Everything's cool.
But listen. This car
runs like shit, man.
I had to pull the plugs
myself this afternoon.
Yeah, I know I'm not, but you better
tell Gonzalez to get his ass in gear...
or else I'm gonna have to
be your fucking mechanic.
Larry. Larry, Victoria.
Yes. I'm
- I'm at the airport. Excuse all the noise.
I'm
- I'm at the baggage claim.
Well, I
- I, um -
I'm hoping that you have some good news
for me about that last actress I sent you.
No, man. Everything's great.
In fact, I got a really big tip
from these, like, musician dudes.
Hey, Ray. Have you ever heard
of a band called Utensil?
No, listen. I brought
back seven tapes...
of - of the most sensational
young actresses in the country.
No, not just New York. Uh, Chicago...
Minneapolis, Seattle...
San Francisco.
Hey, they're all unknown. Yes.
Oh, they're wonderful.
They are just so wonderful.
I -
I:
- I like them all.
It
- It really has to be your decision.
You know, why don't I bring them by?
- I'll just stop by my house for a few minutes and
then I'll come right over. - Yeah, I got you, Ray.
We'll sit down, and we'll
look at 'em together, okay?
- Okay. I'll get a fare here, then I'll
head back downtown. - Take it easy.
- You're just gonna love one of these kids.
- Don't worry about nothin', boss.
Relax, okay? See you in a few.
Hey, Ray. I'm not a kid, okay?
Yeah.
Shit.
Hey, you need a cab, lady?
- Yeah, I guess I do.
- Yeah, I'm right here.
- You're a taxi driver?
- Yeah.
Okay. I, uh -
Yeah. Why not?
The white zone is for immediate
loading and unloading of passengers only.
No parking. Do not leave
your car unattended.
Due to the curb security alert...
all unattended cars may
be towed away immediately.
For your safety and security...
do not leave your baggage unattended.
Be careful with that, will you? I'm
a little in love with my luggage.
No problem, lady.
Ah, ah! I'll carry
that with me. Thank you.
Okay.
Thank you.
Let me get -
- I need that leg.
- Sorry.
- Just take it.
- Sorry.
- Yeah.
- You in?
Yes. Thank you.
The white zone is for immediate
loading and unloading of passengers only.
Oh, shit.
- What? What's wrong?
- Oh, f*ck.
Nothin'. Damn it.
Where to?
Beverly Hills, please.
Uh, 6754.
Damn!
What's the matter?
Oh, I left my phone book back in the
suitcase with all my numbers in it.
- I'm afraid we'll have to
pull over- - Is it listed?
- Listed? - Yes, it's a - it's
a hotel I've called a million -
Why, thank you. Thank you.
No problem. Just pass it
back up when you're done.
Are you okay without it up there?
Don't worry about it.
Suite 216, please.
Carol. Victoria.
Yes. I, uh
- I just spoke to him.
Oh, he's going nuts as usual.
Ricocheting off the walls.
I don't know what to
do with him anymore.
I sent him 10 actresses
who were perf-Well...
six of them were perfect.
But he just keeps
- he keeps wanting them younger and younger.
Now he wants someone 18 with
absolutely no experience...
but the nerves of a paratrooper.
He's not human. I think he's an android.
Yeah.
- Listen. I'm gonna have to go
over there with those tapes..
- I brought back from, uh - -
Gonna have a fine vacation
Carol, I - I,
uh - I'm going -
I - I'm supposed to have dinner
with Peter and Shera tonight.
- But - -I've got to take my
problems to the United Nations
Will you hold on a second, please? Miss.
- I done called my congressman#
- Would you please, uh...
just turn the music off?
Sure, mom.
Thank you.
This is my day.
Okay. Where were we?
Oh, yes. W-Will you call them and
explain and tell them why I can't?
Great.
Listen. Were there any messages for me?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Carol...
did Mr. Kincade call?
You're sure?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay then. I will, um -
I'll
- I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Great. Bye-bye.
Is Mr. Kincade, like, your boyfriend?
Yes, he is.
At least I think he is.
Guys
- Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.
Yeah. You can say that again.
Oh, your phone book. Here. Thanks a lot.
Sure.
Boy, it sure gets dark fast
in the winter, doesn't it?
Driving at night doesn't
seem to bother you.
Why should it?
Oh, with me it's a big
problem. I have night blindness.
Is that, like, something
that happens when you get old?
No. No. Actually, it isn't. Uh -
It has nothing to do with
age. I've had it all my life.
Fuckin'-A, man. That's fucked.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
You know, it really isn't any of
my business, but you smoke too much.
Okay, mom.
You're really happy driving
this taxi, aren't you?
F*ck yes.
I mean, yeah. It's a cool job.
But, I mean, is that
your whole goal in life?
Driving taxicabs?
Is there somethin' wrong with that?
No, no, no. I'm
sorry. I - I -
I really didn't mean
that the way it sounded.
Yeah, well, I'll tell you somethin'.
I don't always want to be a cabdriver.
- What do you really want to be?
- A mechanic.
A mechanic?
I practically know all
there is to know about it.
Both my brothers are mechanics.
They're older than me, but, you know,
'cause I'm, like, a girl, and I'm, like...
still kind of young and all, I gotta
kind of, like, work up to it, you know.
What about
marriage and a family?
Definitely.
Definitely want a family.
Boys though. Lots of boys.
No girls?
Girls are nice too, I think.
Yeah. Maybe some girls too.
But, you know, like, that stuff
- that's all beside the point.
The real problem is to find
a good guy for the father.
Tell me about it.
Well, I'm real particular, you know.
And I'm also patient enough.
I mean, at least I hope I am.
'Cause, you know - I don't know - maybe
you gotta wait a while, you know...
'cause, like, maybe it's not so easy to
find, like, the exact right guy, you know.
Like, the one guy, you know?
No.
- Another mechanic maybe.
- Hell, I don't care what he does.
As long as he loves me right.
With his soul.
You know, takes me for who I am.
I know what you mean.
Like Popeye says, "I am what I am."
Right?
Yes. You certainly are.
Hello? Oh, hi, Marty.
Yes. I talked to him.
Of course I know what he wants.
I've heard it a hundred times.
Oh, Marty. Go ahead. Just tell me again.
Try driving school, you fucking nimrod!
Marty...
I may be having a brilliant
streak right here in the taxi.
Yes, I'm really in a taxi.
No, I can't tell you right now.
Um...
all I can say is...
I have an idea.
No. That's why I don't
tell you things, Marty.
I'm sorry I sound calm. I
assure you I'm hysterical.
I'll call you the
minute I know anything.
Good-bye, Mar-
Good-bye, Marty.
All right. This is Beverly
Drive coming up. Where to?
Uh, just turn right on Beverly Court...
then follow the hill up
to Beverly Circle, please.
Got ya.
It's up on the left. 971.
- Want me to take these in the house
for you? - No. Uh, that's okay.
- Just put 'em over there, please.
- No, I got it. It's my job.
No -
Okay, that'll be, um, 33 bucks, please.
Okay. Uh, no. Keep the
- Keep the change.
- Listen
- - Thanks.
Can I ask you something?
Now, this is gonna sound a
little crazy to you, but, uh -
Well, I'm a casting agent.
That means that I go
out and I find people.
You know, for really big movies.
And I've been observing you.
And I - I honestly think
you have something special.
As a matter of fact, I'm casting a part right
- right now that I think you'd be perfect for.
This is a
- a terrific part.
You could be a movie star.
- What, like right now?
- Well, yeah.
I really wouldn't want
to do that, you know.
I mean, I have a job. I really wouldn't
want to lose this job, you know.
I really wouldn't want to f*ck
things up right now, you know.
You understand, right?
Well...
let's not be hasty.
Um, I'm - I'm - I'm serious
about this, you know.
I just want to be sure you
understand what I'm offering you.
Yeah, but, you know, I'm a cabdriver.
You know, this is what I do.
Like I told you, I'm
gonna be a mechanic.
I don't want to press
you. I really don't. Um -
But I just want to make
sure that I understand.
Are you saying that you -
you just wouldn't be interested
in being a movie star?
- Nah.
- Hey, you could be a mechanic later.
Everyone wants to be a movie star.
Look, lady. You know, I
like the movies and all.
And -And I see you're
being serious, you know.
But that's not a real
life for me. You know?
I mean, I'm sure there's tons of girls
who wanna be in the movies and all...
and, you know, I -
I'm not saying it right.
It's just that I have everything
planned out for me, you know?
I mean, everything's going
just right for me now.
Well, you can't beat that, can you?
Nope.
But, you know,
I mean, I appreciate it.
- Thanks for the tip.
- You bet.
- Take it easy.
- Sure, mom.
Oh, shut up.
Taxi! Yeah.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, taxi! Shit.
Gotta get a taxi, man.
Here we go. Taxi!
Taxi! Yo, man. Right here.
Right here. Whoo! Right.
This is the ticket. Yo, what's up?
Brooklyn.
Brooklyn, man. Yo!
Yo, man! You suck, man!
I got your plate number!
I'm gonna call the T.L.C.I
Come on, man. Somebody pick me up.
Yeah. Come on. Pick me up. What's -
There's a million fuckin' cabs out here.
Cash, man.
Yeah. That's the ticket.
This is gonna get me home.
Shit. It's gonna get my ass home, man.
I got cash, man!
Taxi. Look. I got the cash right here.
Taxi. Come on, man.
Come on, man!
What -What -
F*ck all y'all!
No, you ain't gettin' -You ain't takin'
my cab now. You ain't takin' my cab.
That's right. Just keep
walkin'. Yeah. That's right.
Shit. They know you desperate. That's
all it is. What am I, invisible, man?
I don't give a f*ck. Get me a
taxi. Have my name on it too.
You go to Brooklyn?
Hello. How are you?
I wanna go to Brooklyn.
Uh, come in, sir.
All right.
- You know how to get to Brooklyn?
- "Brookland"?
Uh, better you show me.
Yeah. All right. Look.
Phew. Go straight down Broadway,
and then I'll explain as we go.
Hey, what's up?
What? You new at this? You
- You got - You got it in park.
Hey, man. You gotta put it in drive.
"D."
"D"! "D" is to drive.
- Put the motherfucker in drive!
- Yeah, yeah. "D" is to drive.
So -
Okay.
Hey, what's -What you
doin', man? Hey, what - Hey!
Hey.
- Hey, man. What's wrong with the car? Hey.
- It's automatic.
Hey. No, no, man. It ain't automatic.
Yo. Yo, man. What's wrong with-
Hey, look. What's - What's up, man?
- It's automatic.
- Pull over, man!
Just pull the f*ck over! Yeah.
Pull over right here, man.
Shit.
What?
Hey, man. I don't think this shit's gonna
work out, man. I'm gonna get me another cab.
Oh, no, no. Please. Please.
You are -You are my-
my most best customer.
No, man. Look, you ain't takin' me
to Brooklyn. You can't even drive!
But you want taxi.
I am a taxi. I am here. Taxi.
I know you are a taxi. But
I'm gonna get me another taxi.
But no. No. Uh -
It's important. It's
very, very important to me.
We go.
Man.
Yeah.
All right. All right.
I'll go to Brooklyn, all
right? We will go to Brooklyn.
But you let me drive.
See, I drive and you ride.
I'll pay the fare and all that.
But I drive.
No. No. It's -
- What do you mean, no?
- It's not allowed. Not allowed.
Look. Yeah, it's
allowed. This is New York.
New
- Okay.
Good.
New York. New York.
New York.
Big trouble.
Big trouble.
In big fucking trouble.
- Do you understand?
- Yeah.
- Do you understand what I
am - what I am saying? - Yeah.
Please drive careful.
Uh, drive
- drive careful.
- Yo, man. I know how to
drive. - No - No accident.
- No accident. Get in.
- No accident.
But don't tell. Don't tell.
- Who am I gonna tell, man? Look- -
- Look, man. Just relax, all right?
- Job. Go.
Just wait a minute, all right? Look at
this. You didn't even turn the meter on.
First thing you gotta do is
turn that fuckin' meter on.
See, it turns the light off on
top. That means you're occupied.
I am -Yes, I am oc -
occupied. Occupied. Yes. There.
Then you gotta put it in "D." You see?
I - I know that.
Hey, don't be saying nothing
bad, man. I understand that shit.
- Put it in "D." "D" is for drive.
- Ja.
Just -Just chill out, all right?
Damn, man!
It's nice.
It's New York. It's cool.
Ja. It's cold. It's cool.
Nah, nah, nah. You know,
it's hip. It's cool. It's happening.
Ah, I understand.
"It's cool is good.
Right.
Goes good. Goes good.
Yeah. Yeah. Goes good.
In English we say, "It's good to go."
- It's good to go.
- Yeah.
It's good to go. That's good.
It's good to go. It's good.
- Good to go.
- Yeah. Yeah, man. Just chill, all right?
We have the same
- We have the same hat.
- What?
- The same hat.
- No. No, no. Mine's different.
- Oh, no. It's the same hat.
- Mine's different, man. -
This is different here. This -
Mine's
- Mine's the newest, latest. Mine's fresh.
No. The ear things here. The same.
- Ear. This - - No, man.
Look, mine is the - the hype.
- What is this? Hype?
- The hype.
- What's a hype?
- It's fresh.
- Fresh. Fresh hat.
- It's the jammy. The newest, latest.
Fresh hat. It sounds good.
- Fresh hat.
- Right.
So where you from anyway?
From, uh, Germany.
Eastern Germany.
- Eastern Germany?
- Yeah.
From the city of Dresden, which
is close to Czechoslovakia. Uh -
Close to what?
Czechoslovakia.
Prague.
- Main town. Prague.
- Hmm.
Huh. What, you -you escape from there?
No, no. I was free to go.
You got a family over there?
I have no family.
So, uh...
what'd you do over there
before you came over here...
'cause I know you sure
didn't drive no cab!
I was a circus clown.
Get the f*ck outta here.
No, no, no. I
- Wait. I'll show you.
Here.
Oh, shit.
That's some bugged-out shit, man.
What's your name, man?
Helmut Grokenberger. Here.
There. You can read it. That's me.
Helmet?
Helmut.
- That's your name?
- Yeah.
That's a fucked-up name to
be naming your kid. Helmet.
See, 'cause in English,
a helmet would be, like -
you know, like something you
wear on your head, you know?
You know. A -A helmet.
In English, that'd be
like calling your kid, uh -
Oh, shit. Uh -
"Lampshade." Some shit like that.
No, but -
"Hey, Lampshade! Come here
and clean up your room!"
So, what's your name?
Yo Yo.
What?
Yo Yo. It's my name.
- Yo Yo?
- What? Yo Yo.
Yo Yo. Yo Yo.
Yo Yo.
Yo Yo. It's, uh
No, it - it ain't got nothing to do
with that. It's my name. Yo Yo.
It's a toy for ki -Yo Yo.
- Ain't got nothin' to do with that, man.
- Okay. Okay.
Your name Yo Yo. My name Helmut.
Yo Yo, Helmut.
- It's good.
- Helmet.
What?
What the f*ck is she doin' out here?
- Goddamn it!
- What has happened?
Damn.
There she goes again, man.
Fuckin' up again as usual.
What has happened?
Shit.
Just be cool, Helmet.
I'll be right back.
Angela! Angela!
Where the f*ck are you goin', man?
Where you goin'? What are you doin'?
What are you doing,
Yo Yo? Get the f*ck off me!
- Hey, don't be grabbing my clothes, man!
- Then get the f*ck off me, man!
Ain't nobody on the street. Where
you goin'? Where you steppin' to?
- What are you so concerned about what
the f*ck am I doing? - I'm concerned!
- Why you so fuckin' stupid?
- Party here. Party there. Always partyin'.
- It's none of your fuckin' business.
- It is my business. I'm family.
- You're not my family!
- You're supposed to be home with your husband.
- He knows where I'm at!
- I doubt if he knows where you're at.
He's
- Don't be touchin' me no more.
- I'm not touchin' you. Angela, listen
to me. All right? - What? What?
What's up with you? It's a
family thing, all right? Step off.
- Angela, come on.
- Oh, man.
- No, man. I don't -What
are you - - Come on.
- Don't be hittin' on me.
- Then get the f*ck off me, man!
Get in the car, Angela.
- Get in the fuckin' car. Come on.
- Who the f*ck are you - Get off!.
Get the f*ck off of me, man!
- Get the f*ck off of me!
- Get in the car. Get in the car.
Angela, just calm down. Just calm down.
- Get the f*ck off of me!
- Get in the car. Angela, get in the car.
Don't make me have to hurt you.
Don't be kickin' me. Don't be kickin'.
- Shit.
- What the f*ck are you doin'?
What you doin'?
Let me out of this car!
What the f*ck is your problem, man?
- What the f*ck is your fuckin'
problem, man? - You're my problem!
- No, you're my fuckin' problem.
- Angela, don't be cursin' me out.
- Well, f*ck you, f*ck you and f*ck you!
- Look, Angela. Just shut up!
No, you shut up. Don't
be telling me to shut up.
- Shut up!
- You shut up!
- No, you shut up!
- Shit.
You know what your
fuckin' problem is, Yo Yo?
You don't realize that you're
wearing your ass on your head.
Oh, hey, don't worry, Helmet,
man. It's just a family thing.
- You're not my fuckin' family.
- Look, I am your family.
- You ain't shit to me. - I'm
your brother-in-law, all right?
- Angela, just calm down!
- Don't tell me to calm down!
She's really beautiful. She's beautiful.
- Yeah, you think so, huh?
- Yes.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- What's your name?
- Helmet.
- His name is Helmet Lampshade or some
shit like that. - Oh, f*ck you, all right?
- Don't f*ck with me.
- No, no. My name is Helmut Grokenberger.
Here. You can read it.
Helmut Grokenberger.
Great.
I'm driving with a fuckin'
idiot and some clown.
Oh, yes. I am a clown.
Yeah, Angela. It's true.
- Shut up!
- No, it's true. Check it out.
- Shut up.
- Hey. Come on, Helmet. Show her.
- Do that horn thing you did, man.
- Ah, yes.
Yes.
That shit is so bugged, man!
What the hell are you doing?
- Thank you.
- See, what'd I tell you, Angela?
Helmet, man. Forget about her.
Check it out, man. Brooklyn
Bridge. Right over there.
Oh, that's -
That's
- That's beautiful.
All the lights.
Oh!
Like.
You got it, man.
- I'm the driver.
- Yeah.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
Is somebody gonna tell me what
the f*ck is goin' on around here?
- What you mean?
- What do I mean?
What the f*ck are you driving
this cab for, Yo Yo, huh?
And what's up with the fuckin' hats?
What is this, the fuckin'
Rocky and Bullwinkle show?
Yes, yes. We -We have
the same hats. Both.
Look. Just forget about
the hats. All right?
Look. It was Helmet's first day drivin'. He
drive like shit. All right? So I took over.
- Oh, you took over.
- Yeah.
You know, you're a fuckin' typical
control freak. You know that?
- Man! Shit.
- Look. Angela, just shut up, all right?
Don't tell me to shut up. I
already told you about that shit.
- I'm telling you to shut up.
- You shut up!
- Shut up!
- You shut up!
- Shut the f*ck up!
- You shut the f*ck up, all right?
Damn.
You're a fuckin' idiot,
Yo Yo. You know that?
Yo, you see the sign? It says,
"Sit back in case of short stops."
You never know. I might stop real short.
You better be careful, because if I get
hurt, I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass.
- Always got to have the last word, right?
- That's right.
- Right.
- That's right.
- Right.
- Right.
Damn!
Go ahead. Go ahead.
Say somethin'. Go ahead.
If you fuckin' stop talkin' to me, then
you won't have to hear my fuckin' mouth.
So why don't you shut the f*ck up, and then I won't
have to be talkin' all the time, you stupid idiot.
- Right.
- Oh, f*ck you.
Angela, f*ck you too.
You know what you like?
You're like a fuckin' Chihuahua,
always gnawing at my fuckin' ankles.
Yeah? Well, I'm gonna take a big fuckin'
bite out of your fuckin' ass then...
so you better watch
out for this little dog.
- Shit.
- Damn.
F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck.
- Nice family. Nice family.
- 'Cause he's an asshole. That's why.
- Yeah. Right.
- Huh?
Asshole. He's an asshole.
Asshole.
Check it out, Helmet. This is Brooklyn.
What you think, man?
Uh, it's great.
It's a dump.
Don't be sayin' shit like that,
Angela. It's our neighborhood.
Like I give a shit?
It's "Brookland."
You see, Helmet? This is where we live.
- Thanks for nothin', asshole.
- Don't be hittin' on me, Angela.
- Oh, shut up.
- No, you shut up.
Good-bye to you, Angela.
Good-bye to you
too, Helmet-head.
Good-bye.
- Hey, Yo Yo.
- What?
F*ck you!
- Take this.
- Oh, yes.
Hey. You should count that shit.
You should always count that shit.
Ja.
You see?
Ja.
It's a little less.
The meter say 13. I only gave you 12.
Yes.
It's New York, Helmet.
Money is -Ja. Money...
is not important for me.
I am a clown. I
- I need it.
It's not important... for me.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, you know how to get
back to Manhattan, Helmet?
Uh, we -
- No. No.
- Shit.
All right. You're gonna make the opposite
of every direction we made to get here.
So if - if we made a right, then this
time you're gonna make a left.
And if we made a left,
you're gonna make a right.
- Right?
- Ah, yeah. Two rights.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Helmet, look.
You go down there,
you make a right, then-
When you get to that wide street -
you know, that - that - that big one?
- Yeah.
- You're just gonna stop and ask somebody.
Okay. Okay, Mr. Lampshade.
No, no, no, man. No.
No, man. You be Mr. Lampshade.
- I be Mr. Lampshade?
- Yeah!
Okay. I be Mr. Lampshade.
Yeah.
Later for you, Helmet.
"D" is to drive.
Yeah. Yeah. You got it. Yeah.
"D." "D." "D" is to drive!
Learn some English, Helmet!
Right.
Right! Helmet, go right!
There's a nice family.
Left... or right?
Uh, two rights. Two -
No.
Huh?
Straight.
Here.
Ja, ja, ja.
New York.
New York.
- In the bag.
- In the bag.
You're quite a guy!
So am I.
We sure impressed that ambassador.
Ah!
He's been taken in.
More champagne! That's what we need.
The way we suckered him...
What are you doing?
What's the matter with you?
We told you to drive carefully.
We're important people.
Hell yes! Extremely important people.
If you only knew what's in this case.
Don't you tell him.
The Cameroon ambassador wants
to see us in the morning.
In one piece.
And you drive like a lizard,
first left, then right.
You think you're in your jungle here?
We're not from the
same jungle, are we? No.
Drive carefully.
These little brothers who come to
France, don't they have any respect?
Did you even hear him say hello?
Little brother, where do you
come from that you're so rude?
You from Togo?
From Gabon?
You can't be from Cameroon. From Dakar?
Wait, I'll have a closer look.
If his looks don't kill you.
With that face he might.
I'll tell you.
With a face like that,
he must be a representative
of King Beyanzed.
You're killing me.
It's true!
That's a Beninese's face!
That's it. Benin.
Little brother,
are you from Benin?
The Ivory Coast.
Ivory Coast.
He's an 'Ivoirien'.
"Can't see a thing!"
That explains it!
He's an "Y voit rien. "
You've run four red lights,
you can't see a thing, and you drive
at night without your glasses on.
Don't leave your glasses at
home! Keep your eyes on the road.
Look! The road is over there!
Who gives these people
cars? An 'Ivoirien'!
What do you mean, "that explains it"?
Ah?
I work from 8:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m.,
so don't f*ck with me in my own taxi.
And I don't give a shit
about your ambassador, okay?
Can't we have some fun?
We've had champagne, we're very happy...
No, you don't have fun in
my taxi. I work in this taxi.
It's my place of business,
not your fucking playground!
Okay, get out.
What do you mean?
Just get out of my taxi.
Little brother, I only said...
Forget it. Just get out.
Out of my taxi!
But it's 4:00 in the morning.
Little brother, what's wrong with you?
Look where you're leaving us!
Can you believe this guy?
Does he expect us to find a taxi here?
What a fucked-up day.
Rutain.
Big brothers, my ass...
Shit, they didn't even pay!
I can't believe this shit.
I'll kick your ass.
Here's one that won't give me any shit.
Nice driving, asshole.
You almost flattened me.
What are we waiting for?
Quai de l'Oise, near
Porte de la Villette.
It's near the canal.
first left, then right.
You think you're in your jungle here?
We're not from the
same jungle, are we? No.
Drive carefully.
These little brothers who come to
France, don't they have any respect?
Did you even hear him say hello?
Little brother, where do you
come from that you're so rude?
You from Togo?
From Gabon?
You can't be from Cameroon. From Dakar?
Wait, I'll have a closer look.
If his looks don't kill you.
With that face he might.
I'll tell you.
With a face like that,
he must be a representative
of King Beyanzed.
You're killing me.
It's true!
That's a Beninese's face!
That's it. Benin.
Little brother,
are you from Benin?
The Ivory Coast.
Ivory Coast.
He's an 'Ivoirien'.
"Can't see a thing!"
That explains it!
He's an "Y voit rien. "
You've run four red lights,
you can't see a thing, and you drive
at night without your glasses on.
Don't leave your glasses at
home! Keep your eyes on the road.
Look! The road is over there!
Who gives these people
cars? An 'Ivoirien'!
What do you mean, "that explains it"?
Ah?
I work from 8:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m.,
so don't f*ck with me in my own taxi.
And I don't give a shit
about your ambassador, okay?
Can't we have some fun?
We've had champagne, we're very happy...
No, you don't have fun in
my taxi. I work in this taxi.
It's my place of business,
not your fucking playground!
Okay, get out.
What do you mean?
Just get out of my taxi.
Little brother, I only said...
Forget it. Just get out.
Out of my taxi!
But it's 4:00 in the morning.
Little brother, what's wrong with you?
Look where you're leaving us!
Can you believe this guy?
Does he expect us to find a taxi here?
What a fucked-up day.
Rutain.
Big brothers, my ass...
Shit, they didn't even pay!
I can't believe this shit.
I'll kick your ass.
Here's one that won't give me any shit.
Nice driving, asshole.
You almost flattened me.
What are we waiting for?
Quai de l'Oise, near
Porte de la Villette.
It's near the canal.
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