Beauty has no scale. There's no one way to gauge it. My impression of beauty might be different from your impression of beauty, and her impression of what's beautiful will likely diverge from his.
If there really is a God up there, I don't think he chose to instill “beauty” in this fashion by a mistake. I think it's deliberate. I believe that beauty can wear a variety of different gowns, and it's up to us, individually, to tailor it from there.
I see constant beauty in my life, but beauty fades – and when you're looking for someone to settle down with for the long run – it would be in your best interest to seek out the type of beauty that's enduring.
I hate to break it to a lot of you, but looks fade. Physical beauty has an expiration date, regardless of what some plastic surgeon might try to sell you. The wisest of men will instinctively find beauty in other places – places that don't sag with age.
I might see a woman step into a room – shaped like a dollar sign – draped in designer couture, and think to myself, “God she's a showstopper.”
And, often times, I'll find myself doing a double take afterwards, only to realize maybe it was the way the Céline dress hugged her curves that really stopped the show – or at least my eyes.
That's the type of beauty that precedes lust. That brand of beauty is shallow and quickly forgotten. The type of beauty that succeeds love is more authentic, and doesn't fade once it's out of sight.
I mean, think about your own mother — and probably your first love. The beauty you see in her doesn't come from libido, whatsoever, but from her character – and it will never fade. That's the type of beauty you should chase in your own love life.
Not only will you find a woman who will remain attractive without end, but it will also foreshadow her ability as a future mother.
If you're at a place in your life where you're thinking long-term, there are certain qualities to catch sight of. Here are the 10 signs that a woman will make a great mother.
10. She's loyal to a fault.
You never have to worry about her. From highs to lows, all the way back to even greater heights, she's been by your side. You've never even had to doubt it.
Your greatest achievements have traces of her fingerprints all over them, and you know if it all goes down, she'll still be down for you.
Loyalty is royalty, and the backbone of most human relationships. When it's lost, none of the other virtues you also might have depended on will have any substance. Never take a loyal woman for granted. Trust is something that takes years to build and can vanish in the blink of an eye.
9. She doesn't just listen so that she can speak.
There's a difference between listening – genuine listening, and simply waiting for your turn to speak. Listening shows interest, it shows a level of concern, and it will often times speak louder than any string of words ever could.
Finding a woman who is eager to listen will always prove to be harder than finding one with something to say. Everyone has something to say. The ability to listen doesn't show submissiveness, it shows compassion and the ability to put someone else's needs before your own.
8. She anticipates your needs before you have them.
You never have to tell her, she'll just know. Whether it's the morning of a big meeting, or the night of a big game, she's always had the foresight to accommodate you before anyone else.
It shows she's nurturing, and it also shows that she has the prudence to anticipate things before they happen – like a cornerback who can telegraph a quarterback's pass before the ball comes out.
You love that she's thinking about you, and knows what you like, and you love it even more that you never have to tell her to do it. Things are always better when you don't have to ask for them.
7. She never goes to bed angry.
Everyone argues, especially people in relationships. Arguments don't mean you’re doomed or not destined to be together, they just mean you can't agree about something. Trying to find a woman you'll avoid bickering with will take forever, instead, look for one who works toward resolutions once conflict arises.
A woman who doesn't harbor grudges will never go to sleep angry – and that will translate to constant forward motion in your relationship. It takes a great deal of maturity and awareness (of self, and the bigger picture) to set aside self-centered bitterness, and maintain positive energy for the benefit of the relationship.
6. She doesn't need to have the last word…
And it's not that she couldn't have it, she just doesn't need to. And you're well aware of that fact. Ultimately, getting in that last word won't prove anything – besides pettiness.
As a rule, people who are incessant over their pursuit of the last word usually allow their egos to grab the wheel and turn trivial matters into personal ones. While seeking to have the last word is not all that impressive, holding back on them for the sake of someone else's feelings, and something bigger, is.
5. …And she can say 1,000 words with just one look.
A lot of times, the things we don't say will resonate louder than the things we do say. This is especially true with her. If you're doing something wrong, she doesn't have to tell you because you'll just know. It only will take one subtle look into her eyes.
You know when she's smiling because she's uncomfortable, and you know when it's genuine. You can tell when she's excited about something going on in her own life, and you know exactly when she's excited about something going on in yours.
Words can be sexy, but the sensuality behind body language can't be replicated.
4. She always has something to teach you, and she's always willing to learn.
I don't know, there's just something sexy about acquiring knowledge – and often it won't necessarily have to be presented in the manner of a “sexy school teacher.”
When a person shows an interest in something, or a passion for something, that is authentic – it will always be an attractive quality for other passionate people.
Be on the lookout for a girl who takes an interest in something, even if it might seem mundane initially, and let her passions open your eyes to new things. In turn, do the same with her. Like I said, truly passionate people will always be tempted by other people's passion – regardless of what it might be.
3. She's great at making plans and even better at taking detours.
She's assertive. She knows exactly where she wants to go – and how to get there – but if obstacles arise, she's prepared to use alternate routes. This is useful for her career, but it's also a great indication that she won't quit on your relationship, either.
Life is all about unexpectancies. The most successful women don't look to avoid them, but instead stay prepared to respond to them.
2. She's comforting in just her presence.
You could be having the worst day known to mankind – it doesn't matter. You know once the clock strikes 5, and it's time to go home, you'll be welcomed to a girl who erases all of it just by being with you.
Finding a woman like this will prove to be the ultimate comfort, and it will never require any effort. Even the times when you're not with her physically, just knowing she's in your life will a lot of the times suffice. That's when you know you truly appreciate a woman – and should never take that for granted.
1. She makes you better.
Simply put – she holds you down. Words cannot describe the feeling of having that one girl who's truly your better half. It's a cliché, but clichés always emerge from truths. It's impossible to simply go out and find a girl who completes you, but when it happens, you'll know immediately.
And you'll see it in your own day-to-day life, even when she's not around. I've always said this: Girlfriends are good for the soul. When you have someone you grow to think about before yourself, that inclination will translate to other people too. It's honestly a beautiful thing.
When one girl inspires you to not only treat her the best as possible, but everyone – including yourself – that's rare. You're probably pretty lucky.
Photo Courtesy: Amber Fillerup Clark
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人生のパートナーを選ぶ基準はなんでしょうか？今回紹介するのは、NY育ちの男性ライターが「Elite Daily」で記した、いい母親になる女性の条件。え？パートナーを通り越して母親！？そうなんです、良い母親になるであろう女性って、絶対いい奥さんにもなるんです。
01.とことん尽くしてくれる
あなたが失敗してどん底に落ちていた時に、いつでも隣にいてくれた彼女。そんな女性を決して手放してはいけません。
02.ちゃんと話を聞いてくれる
聞き上手は、単に従順なだけではありません。他人の幸せを自分の幸せに置き換えられる素敵な価値観と、懐の深さを持っているということの表れなのです。
03.言わなくても、分かってくれる
何も言わなくても、あなたが何を必要としているのかをわかってくれる──。そんな魔法使いみたいな彼女に出会ったら、大切にしましょう。きっとこの先もずっと色々なことに気付かせてくれるでしょう。
04.ケンカが建設的になる
お付き合いにケンカは付きもの。でもずーっとブゥたれている人ではなくて、ひとしきり言い合った後に、解決に向けて前向きな話し合いができる人は理想的です。それができる人って大人だし、いつもポジティブなエネルギーをまとっていますよね。
05.決定権をゆずってくれる
何でもかんでも自分の思った通りにコントロールしようと思わない人は、決して何かを決断する力が無いのではなく、周りの人の気持ちを考えて一歩引ける器量を持っているもの。
06.目で語れる
あなたが間違ったことをしたとき、言葉じゃなくて目で咎める。心から楽しんでいるときは、ちゃんと目から笑っている。目にはその人の信念や人間性宿っています。本当の「目ヂカラ」って、そういうことなのかも。
07.教えるのも学ぶのも大好き
好奇心旺盛で、あなたの知らないこともいっぱい教えてくれる。逆に知らないことや、あなたの好きなことにもどんどん興味を持ってくれる。そんな彼女は知識も豊富で、お母さんになっても、子どもにたくさんのことを教えてあげられるでしょう。
08.計画上手で臨機応変な対応ができる
行きたいところや、やりたいことがたくさんあって、そのための段取りを考えるのが得意な彼女。想定外のことが起こって、計画通りにいかなかったときの、プランBへの移行もお見事です。そのための準備もさりげなくしてあるのです。そんな彼女なら、想定外の連続と言える子育てもうまい具合に取り組めるはず。
09.いるだけで、癒してくれる
何も言わなくても、側にいてくれるだけでホッとする。仕事でいろいろあって、どんより気分で家に帰っても、彼女が出迎えてくれるだけでいつもの自分に戻れる。そんな包容力がある人は貴重な存在です。
10.あなたを「いい人」にする
彼女と付き合いはじめてから、周りのみんなに丁寧に接するようになった。なんてあなたの心に「優しさ」の種を植えてくれた彼女は、きっと周りの人たちを幸せにする真のハッピーガール。一緒に素敵な家庭を築いてくれること間違いなしです。
