baBie

Oh... I am so disappointed about myself. What a jerk I am, ..sigh.

Some time before, I happened to find one of my friend having got pregnant. I should have been happy for her the moment I glanced at word "pregnant" on her blog because it was what she has been longing for. She has been trying to have a baby for years but it was really difficult. I should really congratulate her and I am glad that her dream came true. However, a part of me feels sad saying "why not me?"

When I had miscarriage, I fell apart so bad. It was years ago and I thought I got over it already. Today, I don't know, the feeling came back out of blue.

I am bad. I hate myself.