Wisdom's Daughter 第19章 THE HERMITAGE OF NOOT

第19章　CHAPTER XIX

 

THE HERMITAGE OF NOOT

"Tell me of what has passed in Egypt since Ochus conquered and
Nectanebes fled away. Does Ochus still live, Daughter?" asked Noot
after a pause during which both of us had sat staring at the ground.

"Nay, Father, Ochus is dead and by my hand, or through it," and I told
him all that story of the burning of the temple of Isis at my command
and of the Persians who defiled it.

"A great deed such as you alone could have planned," he muttered, "but
terrible, terrible!"

"Then your soul must bear its burden, Prophet, since it was your voice
that we heard in the sanctuary, when in our extreme we prayed for
guidance, and it told us to go forward. There are those with me who
can bear witness that they heard your very voice, as I do."

"Mayhap, Daughter. It is true that on a certain day not so many moons
ago, I seemed to hear you calling to heaven in great trouble and
danger, also that by direction which came I know not whence, I
answered in my spirit that you must 'fulfil and fear not.' What you
were to fulfil I did not know, though it came to my mind that the
business had something to do with the burning of a temple."

"As it had indeed. Well, I fulfilled, as Ochus Artaxerxes with some
hundreds of his Persian ravagers can testify before all the gods until
the end of time, for those dogs at least have ceased to pollute the
earth and to-day are enriching hell. There let them lie with Tenes and
Nectanebes also, if in truth he has joined them, and many another
false priest and king. Afterward we will talk of them and all their
deeds of shame. But first tell me why I am here. For what end did you
summon me from Egypt. Was it to save me from death?"

"Nay, Ayesha, from more than that. Why should I wish to hold you back
from the great boon of death in which so soon I must have joined you?
I summoned you because I was commanded so to do, that now when Isis
has passed from Egypt, you should cause her worship to re-arise at Kor
which was her ancient home. It is willed that here you should abide
and once more build up this people and make it great by the help of
the Queen of Heaven who then will lead it on to triumph and to glory."

"That is a mighty task, Prophet. Still perchance with your aid it may
be done if the gods give me life and wisdom."

He shook his head and answered,

"Look not to my aid, for at length my day is finished. Has not Philo
told you that I mix no more with matters of the world, I who for years
past have dwelt a hermit in a terrible place, sheltered only by a cave
and lost in the contemplation of holy things?"

"No, Father, he has told me little or nothing--by your will, or so he
said," I replied, amazed.

"Yet it is so; moreover, presently I must return to that prison whence
I came, there to await the change called death. I have played my part,
but your work still remains to do; Philo will aid you in it."

"Why do you live in that place, Father, leaving me without the
guidance of your wisdom?"

"Because there I guard a great secret, that was revealed to me long
ago, it matters not how, the greatest secret in the whole world--that
of how men may escape death and live on eternally upon the earth."

Now I stared at him, thinking that age and abstinence had made him
mad. Then, to test the matter, I asked,

"If it be so great a secret, why do you tell it to me, Master?"

"Because I must. Because I know well that if I do not, you would
discover it for yourself, and being unwarned, would fall into the
trap, and still living beneath the sun, dare to clothe yourself with
this garment of immortality. It was for this reason that until twice
the command had come to me, I would not summon you to Kor."

Now a new thought thrilled my soul. If this strange tale were true; if
indeed here on earth there could be found such a door leading to the
divine, why should I not pass it, and become as are the gods? Only I
did not believe that it was true.

"Surely you have dreamed in your loneliness, my Father," I said. "But
know that if you did not dream, if it were true, I, Ayesha, should be
minded to wear that robe of life eternal. Why not, O Prophet?"

"Because, Ayesha, the man or woman who dared to eat of this fruit
forbidden to their race here on earth, where death is decreed for all,
would be a man or woman who dared to enter into hell."

"I think otherwise, Prophet Noot, I think that this man or woman would
enter into glory and become the ruler of the world," I answered, and
as I spoke the words my eyes flashed and my breast heaved.

"Not so, Ayesha, since from that fatal peak of pride Heaven will beat
back all human feet. Oh, hearken to me and purge your soul of the
madness of this desire by which I see already it is possessed. It was
laid upon me to reveal this secret to you, which I think was given me
for that very purpose, so that you might show your greatness by
rejecting it, the deadliest bribe that the god of Ill ever offered to
mortal woman."

"Or perchance by accepting it, Master!"

"Nay, nay! Bethink you. Is the world a fit place for the undying?
Moreover, this secret that I guard is but the world's spirit, not that
of immortality; the hidden force from which our earth draws its
strength, but which will perish with the earth, as it must do upon a
day still hidden in the deeps of time. The drinker of that cup
therefore would become, not eternal, but long-lived only, destined to
perish at last with this passing star. For him death would not be
destroyed, it would only be delayed, waiting ever to snare him in the
end. Meanwhile he must endure desolate and alone, watching the
generations pass one by one to their appointed rest; while, filled
perchance with fearful appetites which he must know eternally and yet
remain unsatisfied, he stands but as a frozen rock upon the plain,
wearing a human shape, yet alien to mortality, though still torn by
its ambitions, its loves, its hates, its hopes, its fears, and waiting
terrified for that predestined moment when this globe shall crumble
and death shall devour it and him.

"I am old, I am feeble, my hour is well nigh done, I pass to my repose
in Heaven. Ayesha, I have no strength to stay your feet, if you elect
to drink this cup my weak hand cannot dash it from your lips. Yet as
one who has taught and loved you, as one to whom the gods have given
great wisdom, I pray you to thrust aside this great temptation. As our
faith teaches truly, already your spirit is immortal and has its home
prepared above. Desire not, therefore, to perpetuate your flesh, since
if you do, Ayesha, I tell you that you will become but as a painted
mummy in a tomb, simulating life, yet dead and cold within. Swear to
me, Daughter, that you will lock this knowledge in your heart and
thrust the poison from your lips."

"You speak wisely," I answered, "aye, as one inspired by the truth,
and though I take no oaths, it is my purpose to do your will. Yet,
Father, what is this secret? Having told me so much, tell all, lest I
should go to discover it for myself."

"Daughter, near to this ancient city, amid the mountain cliffs, deep
in the bowels of the rocks burns a travelling fire which is the very
soul of the world, the flaming heart that gives it life. Yet this fire
is no fire, but rather the essence of existence, and he who bathes in
it will be filled with that essence and endure while it endures."

"Perchance such a one might be destroyed by that fire," I answered
doubtfully.

"Daughter, I would that I could leave you thinking thus, for then a
great fear would pass from me. But we who are the chief servants of
Isis dare not hide the truth from one another, since to do so is to
break our oaths. Moreover, in this matter I do not speak with my own
voice, but with that of a Strength which is greater than I, to whom
now I stand so near that almost it and I are one. Therefore to your
eyes I must withdraw all veils, showing you what is, as it is, and not
as I would have it be. Yonder fire will not destroy the mortal who
finds the courage to stand in its raging path; it will give him life,
and with it such strength, such beauty, and such wisdom as have never
been the lot of man born of woman. Also it will give him such
passions, such despairs, such unending woes as hitherto no mortal
heart has known.

"There is the truth. Ask me not how it comes into my keeping and what
that voice may be which is speaking it through my lips. A minute gone
this truth was mine alone, or perchance mine and one other's. Now it
is yours also, and being yours, I pray to that Divine from which we
come and whither we return again, that it may give you strength and
the true wisdom, knowing all, to reject all, and turning aside from
this glittering guerdon of enduring life, patiently to walk your human
path to the end appointed to our human feet."

"Will you show me this fire, Prophet?"

"Aye, if you will, for so I am commanded," he answered faintly; "yet
why look upon that which must excite desire?"

Then weariness overcame him and he sank down swooning, so that had I
not caught him, he would have fallen.

 

Noot abode three days at Kor and talked with me of many things, but at
that time of the wonderful Secret of Life he spoke no more. As though
by consent both of us let that matter lie awhile. For the rest there
was much to say. I told him everything that had passed in Egypt and
the outer world since long years before he had left me to sail down
Nile, never to return. I told him how I had obeyed his last commands
to the letter, and surrounded though I was by foes, had preserved the
worship of Isis in her temple from season to season, celebrating her
festivals in their appointed course, though I never dared to leave its
walls.

"So, Ayesha," he said when I had done, "while I have been a hermit
here at Kor, you have been a hermit at Memphis. Well, each of us has
served the goddess as best might be, so may she reward us both
according to our deserts, which doubtless are but small. And now my
task is finished, but yours lies before you, seeing that you still
have strength, even if your youth has gone."

"Yes," I answered somewhat bitterly, "mid-age has overtaken me, my
youth has passed in the service of Heaven, and what has Heaven given
to me after all my wars and strivings? Just this--that in a savage,
desolate land among ruins and barbarians I must begin anew. I must
restore a faith decayed, collect those barbarians into armies and
order them, enact laws and cause them to be obeyed, fight battles,
till lands, build ships and carry on commerce, collect revenues and
spend them wisely, labour without cease day by day, finding but little
rest at night because of the troubles that await the morrow. I must be
at once a high-priestess, an oracle, a general, a law-giver, a judge,
an architect, a land-tiller and a queen beneath an alien sky; without
counsel, without friends, without love, without children to tend me in
my age or to pile the earth upon my bones. Such is the lot that the
goddess has given to her priestess Ayesha in payment of all her
strivings."

Thus I spoke bitterly enough, but Noot answered with a gentle smile,

"At least, Daughter, it might have been more evil. You have a planning
and a thoughtful mind and here you can shape all things afresh to your
desire. You love power and here you will be absolute, a very queen,
you who cannot brook denial. Here there will be none to say you nay.
You hate rivals who would rule alone. Here they will be lacking. You
desire to remain celibate who are wed to the spirit. Here no more
kings or others will come to trouble you, plotting to win your beauty.
It has ever been your wish to commune with Nature and that Divine from
which it springs; here in this deserted place is Nature's very home
and in solitude the Divine draws near to empty souls.

"Truly you should be thankful, therefore, whose prayers have been
fulfilled, who have attained to all you sought, whose ambitions are
satisfied and who in the holy calm and the healthful weariness that
follows upon long-continued labours, at last when your task is done,
will sink gently to the grave to seek their reward elsewhere. Soon,
very soon, you will be as I am and when that day comes there will be
an empty hermitage yonder where in darkness and in contemplation you
can patiently await the end and those new endeavours which, after it,
may be appointed to you elsewhere. For be sure of this, Ayesha--all
existence is a ladder up which painfully and with many slips we must
climb step by step."

"And when we reach the top, what then, Master?"

"I do not know, Daughter, but I do know that if we fall to the bottom,
all those steps must be climbed again, only this time the rungs of the
ladder will be wreathed with thorns."

"It seems that yonder hermitage of yours is no home of joy, my
Father."

"Nay, Daughter. It is a home of grief and repentance. The joy lies
beyond. Such are the philosophy of life and the teachings of all
religion. Be sorrowful and afterward you will rejoice. Rejoice and
afterward you will be sorrowful."

"A sad philosophy, Prophet, and such lessons as slaves learn beneath
the whip."

"Aye, Ayesha, but one that must be endured, as, if they could speak,
Tenes and Ochus and Nectanebes would tell you to-day."

So he droned on who grew weak and senile, having become but the dry
shell of a man, whence the sap had withered, like to a sterile nut
indeed, from which, if it were sown, no shoot would spring. At length
wearying of his melancholy talk, I fell to the thought of that Fire of
Life raging in its eternal vigour beneath his hermitage, which, as he
swore, would give unending beauty, youth, glory, and dominion to him
who could find faith and courage to dare its terrors.

 

On the following day I accompanied Noot back to his hermitage for the
quiet of which he seemed to yearn, so much so indeed that even for my
sake whom he loved more than anything on earth and in whose fellowship
he delighted, he would not be separated from it for another hour.

It was a rough journey that we made borne in litters to the foot of
the great precipice which surrounds the plain of Kor like to a
measureless wall chiselled by Titans at the shaping of the world. We
climbed up a cleft in that wall and entered a hidden fold of rock,
invisible from below. Following this fold we came to the mouth of a
cave. Here I noted that food was set in plenty by the dwellers in this
land who revered Noot as a prophet and thus supplied him with his
sustenance. Here also were torches which were lit by those who
accompanied us to give us light upon our journey through the cave that
was long and rough. At length we came to its end to find before us a
terrible chasm. Thousands of feet above us was a line of blue sky and
beneath lay a gulf of darkness. Out into this chasm down which winds
raved and howled, ran a giant spur of rock of which the end was lost
in darkness. I looked at it doubtfully and said,

"Where then is your habitation, Noot, and by what road is it reached?"

"It lies yonder in the darkness, Daughter," he answered, smiling, "and
this is the road that those who would visit me must travel," and he
pointed to the spur of rock that trembled in the roaring gale, adding,
"To my feet it is familiar; moreover, I know that on it as elsewhere I
am protected from harm. But if you fear to walk such a path, turn back
while there is still time. Perhaps it would be better that you should
turn back."

Now I looked at the trembling rock and then I looked at Noot, my
Master.

"What," thought I to myself, "shall I, Ayesha, who dread neither man
nor devil, be afraid to follow where this frail old priest can lead?
Never will I blench from peril though in it lies my death."

So I stared him in the face and answered,

"To the task, Father, and swiftly, for here the wind blows chill. I go
first; Philo, follow me close."

Now Philo, who was my companion upon this adventure, glanced at me
with questioning eyes, but being a brave man and one who as a sailor
was accustomed to perilous heights, said nothing.

For a moment Noot paused, looking upward, perchance to pray or
perchance for other reasons. Then having asked Philo how long it was
to the time of sunset and been answered that it lacked between the
half and the fourth part of an hour before Ra sank behind the western
cliff, he started, walking boldly down the spur. I followed next, and
last came Philo.

Very terrible was that journey in the uncertain light which as we
progressed into the gulf grew ever fainter, till at last we were
wrapped about with gloom. Moreover, always the spur of rock narrowed,
and the raving gusts of wind which blew about that hideous gorge
buffeted us more fiercely.

Still we went on leaning our weight against them, and as we went a
kind of exaltation seized me, as it does always in moments of great
danger, so that my heart grew bold and feared no more. I would match
myself against these elemental strengths as I had matched myself
against those of hostile and desiring kings, and conquer them. Or
perchance it was the breath from the divine fire that burned below
that already had entered into me. I cannot say, but this I remember,
that before I had reached the point of that fearful rock I was filled
with a wild joy and could laugh at Philo crawling after me with
hesitating steps and breathing prayers now to Isis and now to the
Grecian gods that he had worshipped as a child.

At length we came to the end of that long needle which thrust itself
thus into the dark stuff of space, and as we did so all light went out
of the sky above, leaving us plunged in blackness. I seated myself
upon the throbbing point of rock, clinging to Philo who had done
likewise, and cried into the ear of Noot, kneeling at our side.

"What now? Show us and be swift, lest we should be thrown from this
place like stones from a sling."

"Hold fast and wait," answered Noot.

We did so, grasping the roughness of the rock with our hands. Then
suddenly a marvel happened, since from somewhere, I know not whence
and have never learned, a fierce red ray of light, cast doubtless by
the setting sun, struck us through some hole in the opposing cliffs.
Aye, it struck like a blazing sword, showing all things that could be
seen. They were these: ourselves crouched upon that point of rock;
infinite space beneath us, infinite space above reaching up to a
single star that shone upon the sky, and we three hemmed in by two
black precipices. Moreover, they showed, not four paces from the
point, a huge trembling stone that was joined to that fearsome spar by
a little bridge of wood laid from the one to the other by the hand of
man, which bridge rose and fell and rocked as the great stone trembled
on its farther side.

"Follow me swiftly before the light dies," cried Noot as he stepped
across this bridge and, reaching the crest of the trembling stone,
stood there like a ghost illumined with fire; like also to that figure
which I had seen watching from the brow of the Ethiopian's head when
we entered the harbour from the sea.

I obeyed and joined him, and after me came Philo.

By the last rays of that fleeting light we descended a rough stairway
cut on the farther side of the Trembling Stone and of a sudden found
ourselves in shelter. Light sprang up and I saw that it was held in
the hand of a dwarf, a curious, solemn dwarf. Whence this creature
came and who he was I do not know, but I think that he must have been
a spirit, some gnome from the Under-world appointed by the Powers
which ruled in that dark place to attend to the wants of the holy
Noot, their Master and mine.

This I noted at least, and so did Philo, that we could never see this
creature's face. Even when he moved about us, always it seemed to be
hidden either by shadows or something that hung in front of it like a
veil. Yet man, or gnome, or ghost, he was a good servant, since in
that hermit's cave, or rather caves, for there were several of them,
joined one to the other, all things were made ready. Thus a fire
burned, food was prepared upon a table, and in the inner caves beds
were spread, each in a little separate chamber.

The outer cave also was furnished in a fashion and I noted that in a
niche stood the small statue of Isis which I remembered well, since
wherever Noot my Master went in the past years when we journeyed
together, that statue went with him and now still it was his
companion. Indeed the tale was that it could speak and gave him
counsel in all hours of doubt and trouble, and that from this
enchanted thing he gathered his great wisdom. Whether or no this tale
were true, I do not know, since I never heard it utter words, nor
would Noot tell me when I asked him. Yet it is true that it was his
custom to pray to it; also that it was very ancient and valued by him
more than all the gold and jewels on the earth. Now it stood here, as
it had done in my Father's house at Ozal, as it had done at Philae in
his chamber, at Memphis, on the ship /Hapi/ and elsewhere when we
journeyed together throughout the world, and it was strange to me to
behold its familiar face again in this dreadful habitation.

"Eat," said Noot, "then sleep, for you are weary."

Philo and I did as he commanded. We ate, we laid ourselves down upon
the beds in the inner caves, and slept. The last thing that my eyes
saw before slumber closed them was Noot my Master, now become more of
a spirit than a man, kneeling in solemn prayer before the hallowed
effigy of Isis.

I know not for how long we slept, but it must have been many hours,
for when we woke it was to see that dwarf whose face was always
hidden, setting another meal upon the table in the outer cave. There,
too, by the lamplight, I perceived Noot still praying to the statue of
Isis as though he had never risen from his knees, which perchance he
had not done who no longer was as are other men. It was a strange
sight in that dreadful place and one that affrighted Philo, as he told
me, and left me not unmoved, who felt that here we stood upon the edge
of mortal things.

I went to him, and seeing me come, he rose from his knees to greet me,
asking me whether I had rested well.

"Neither well nor ill," I answered. "I slept, yet my sleep was full of
dreams, very strange dreams that boded I know not what. They told me
both of the past and of the future, and the burden of them was that I
seemed to see myself living alone from generation to generation in
caves as you do to-day."

"May the gods defend you from such a fate, Daughter," he answered as
though the thought disturbed him.

"They have not defended you, Father. Oh! how can you bear to dwell in
the darkness of this dreadful place round which the winds howl
eternally, companioned only by your thoughts and a dwarf who never
speaks? How did you find it, how came you here, and what put into your
mind the thought of choosing this burrow for a hermitage? Tell me
truly, who as yet, I think, have hidden half the truth even from me,
for I am devoured with wonder and would understand."

"Hearken, Ayesha. When first we met in Arabia, I was already very old,
was I not, I who now long have passed the tale of man's allotted days?
Before that time for many years I had been a head-priest and prophet
of Isis in Egypt, also the chief Magician of that land. Yet I was not
born an Egyptian nor did my eyes so much as look upon the Nile until I
had counted over sixty summers."

"Where then were you born, Father?"

"Here in Kor. I am the last descendant of the king-priests who ruled
in Kor before the great apostasy and the falling of the Sword of God.
To the holy men who were my fathers had descended their knowledge of
that secret of secrets whereof I have spoken to you, and ever it was
their custom when age took a hold of them to withdraw into this living
sepulchre and there as guardians of the Fire, to await the end. Also
under many oaths each of them passed on to his descendants the
knowledge of the secret.

"Thus, Daughter, it came into my keeping, for my grandsire told my
father, and my father whispered it to me. Then, while my grandsire
still lived, the goddess for her own ends of which now I think I see
the purpose, called me from this desolate land away to Egypt, there to
serve her as I have done. Again she called me to Arabia that there you
might be given into my keeping, as you were for certain years. A third
time she called me back to Kor, whither I came with Philo. Here I
found my grandsire dead and his son, my father, dead after him,
leaving the hermitage of the Watcher of the Fire untenanted. Therefore
setting Philo to command the savage tribes who dwell around the ruins
of haunted Kor, hither I came, as for generations my forbears have
done, to fill the office that they filled, and--to die."

"Forgetting me upon whose head you left a heavy burden, my Father in
Isis," I said bitterly.

"Nay, Ayesha, I forgot you not, who knew well that at the appointed
time we should meet once more, as meet we have. Always in my prayers I
have watched over you and many of your troubles and dangers have been
made known to me in dreams. It was in a dream that I heard you calling
for guidance, and sent the answer that was commanded. Aye, and before
that already I had despatched Philo to Egypt to bring you to me, as
also I was commanded. And now you stand here before me in my hermitage
and I tell you all these things because last night I learned, while I
prayed and you were lost in sleep, that we shall speak no more
together. My hour is at hand and since I have no child of my body, to
you, my child in the Spirit, I pass on the great secret as to you
already I have passed on my high office and my wisdom. When the breath
has left me, Ayesha, then to you will descend the guardianship of the
Fire, and here, doubtless, when age has overtaken you, you also will
end your days."

"Is it so?" I asked, dismayed, staring around me at the rocky walls
and listening to the tempest that raged eternally without.

"Aye, Ayesha, it is so, since that is the high duty laid upon your
soul, whereby it shall find wings to fly to Heaven. Know that no
Guardian of the Fire enters into the Fire. He watches it--no more--and
if it is threatened he seals it for ever from the sight of man.
Listen, I will tell you how," and leaning forward he whispered certain
words into my ear and showed me certain hidden things.

I heard, I saw, I bowed my head. Then I asked,

"And if the Guardian of the Fire entered into the Fire, what then,
Watcher of the Fire?"

"Daughter, I know not," he answered, horror-struck. "But then I think
the Fire would become /his/ guardian, a terrible guardian that at the
last would also be the destroyer of its false servant. More I cannot
tell, because though some have breathed its essence, none of them has
dared this deed."

"Two nights ago you told me, O Noot, that this fire gives youth and
beauty and uncounted days to those who bathe therein. If none has ever
entered it, how know you this?"

"Because it is so, Ayesha. Moreover, I did not say that none had ever
entered it. Perchance there are beings now known to the world as gods
or daemons, who, by accident rather than design, have tasted of this
cup. Perchance that shape you saw standing on the Ethiopian's head, in
some bygone age stood for an instant in its path. At least I repeat
that it is so. Believe or disbelieve me as you will, but ask me no
more, and above all do not venture to solve the mystery in your mortal
flesh."

"At least, Prophet, let me look upon that which I must guard," I said.

"Aye, you shall look," he answered. "It is for that reason that I have
brought you here, Priestess and Daughter of Wisdom, for having looked,
I do not think that you will desire to bathe in that red flame. Eat
now and make ready."