Dear Koko,
Here is the report of the session work which we have done today. Good work, good beginning. Let me know if you have any questions.
Take care,
Kevin
April 24, 2000
Sliema Malta # 1
Report: at least before I came Malta I can feel like the painting is so beautiful but since I came here I see nothing, I couldn’t feel beautiful or dirty...I just keep going to school and go back home. But in Sicily everything touched me...when I saw a old building etc I could feel nice. But when I came back here I could see nothing. Even bad feeling I couldn’t feel, I don’t feel bored or excited.
- I can’t imagine anything right now, whether or not I want to know myself or whether I don’t want to know myself. This is according to feeling. The mind is so busy. I couldn’t sleep very well in these days. I feel my brain is always awake. Especially in this last weekend.
- since I came here I couldn’t open my Japanese books. But last night I could read that book. I was so surprised. I couldn’t understand what was going on.
Clearing:
- State: when I was 11 years old my paternal grandfather passed away, after that my grandmother and my father (she was his step mother) they cut off from each other; because she owned everything. He just wanted to leave from my step-grandmother. But I didn’t know what was going on in my family as I was so young. Suddenly my father and mother told me you don’t have to speak to those relatives. My father said to just believe in your own family. My mother at that time was so nervous and she lost weight and so I just wanted to know what was going on but no one explained and described for me. I just remember my childhood in elementary school before eleven. Sometimes I can remember but especially 3-6 I don’t remember. I just remember that I really hate noisy sound (my grandfather used to play Majan and I really hated that sound. But after he passed away I didn’t hear that kind of sound anymore, so...in my elementary school most of the schools go to private junior high so we had to study for exams from age 9-12 i had to study hard. But my mother and father didn’t say go to private school (top school) they never told me but I think to go to private school is normal for us so I chose to go by myself. I passed the tests and I entered private junior ? university. All women school. In my school lie I learned one thing, never believe women. Their feeling is so ‘dirty’. They care about such a small thing like what score I had in a small test etc. Nobody cared about my feeling and what my interests. I want to speak about my feeling and my interests and ask them likewise. It is so difficult to communicate with women especially the ones who goes to that type school for all women. When I was in HS I tried to see outside of school and I made some friends and they are still my friends. When I was 14 years old, the first time I went to the US to Seattle and SF. No one cared about my looks or score. So that is why I wanted to speak English and attended English club in school. And then my school had some study abroad program so second program is when I was 16 I went to England and I stayed one month with host family. Did Europe. I didn’t remember what I saw in Paris, Rome, London...i don’t remember anything. I’m sure I didn’t feel sad or anything I just don’t remember. After that program I was17 years old (usually in Japan HS has three grades, but I skipped one year and spent 5 years in university) that time was the worst in my life because...my friends had a party with boys but I couldn’t attend the party because I had another function to attend, but my school is so strict with rules so we can’t have any party or go to restaurant with only students but somebody told about this party to teacher so all my friends had to leave our school. I think that my friends told to the teacher but I didn’t. if I was free I would have gone to the party. But no one believed me so I tried to explain but everyone refused me. Even other students. So after they left our school they paid me back in a platform one of them pushed me from behind to the rail or they put me in a utility closet in a parking lot. So I couldn’t stand it so...I begged my father to change my school but he didn’t let me change my school because I chose it by myself so it is your responsibility. After that I had to take the exam for university, I didn’t want to go to the same university so that is why I didn’t write anything in my paper. But my school gave me a pass and I couldn’t believe anything: teacher, school mates etc. First I applied to English major but I changed to architecture, fortunately it was only me from my HS I could make new friends from outside of my HS. But one or two years later I couldn’t get into a train (subway) anymore. When I was on the train I didn’t feel that I could breath. I always needed a paper bag. In my university I studied so hard because I wanted to forget my past. But after rather during my graduate work I felt happy but after that I couldn’t feel anything (age 21). I felt empty. I always feel something like a pressure but I am not sure where it comes from . I think myself...if I do something all the time I control or handle (of course everyone does) but I feel so strong. I feel everything people, information things is coming to my head. So I always try to forget and think that it’s not coming, it’s not coming. I especially feel this in a train, in Tokyo.
Entry: Faces state
1. THERAPY ? OWNER - FACILITATION FOR THE OWNER REPRESENATIVE - Therapy for the Noble Human (angelic type nature)
Therapy for the Owner’s Representative
(the conscience?) The Noble mind simultaneously is touched by Heaven and earth
universal rate: 38022 7407: 1) I must walk with or be attentive of my inner state or NADIS (p 1404) + 2) Stone’s squat + 3) Primary diagnostic (p 4169)
1) I must walk with or be attentive of my inner state or NADIS - I NEED TO RESTORE THE ABILITY TO BE CONGRUENT IN MY ACTIONS THROUGH SENSING MY INNER LIGHT - or the Nadis; through switching on both left and right sides of myself: Has played the part of the village fool. As there has been a fundamental switch off from the time of being in the womb.
2) Stone’s Squat
3) Primary diagnostic: The primary thing which I would like to present as a diagnosis is... ..which is the form of something yet not its nature: Spinal tract & peripheral nervous system
2. I NEED TO RESTORE A WIDE AND OPEN CONSCIOUSNESS SO THAT MY HEMISPHERES ACT AS ONE - Non Hemispheric Integration: through dealing with what happened to me while I was in my mother’s womb
Note: Unable to integrate both hemispheres. Different from a segmented state - this is more cultural in origin, where by communities can create a bias toward Homolateral state.
3. Subtle Body Therapy: Overstimulation ? rate: Mental etheric body ? 61769
