Having a good break

As I mentioned before, I'm spending time with my darling's family for Christmas break. I'm having a nice break.

Since I mostly finished my Christmas shopping yesterday, I've been staying home today besides I went along with my darling's haircut. While we're having lunch, we talked about the plans of meals for this couple of days. When we're talking about the kinds of cakes, my darling's father said he missed pumpkin pie. Since he was in Europe during the Thanksgiving he could not have pumpkin pie at all.

As a result, my darling's mother decided to make pumpkin pies tonight, and I helped her little bit. The picture is one piece of pumpkin pie which we made tonight.

Fairwell Party and Winter Break

Last Saturday (17th), I had a going away party for one of my friends who is going to back to Japan. The party was really nice (I think), and I enjoyed it very much. I had a very good time with my friends since I finished my semester!

The following day of the party, my darling and I drove to his hometowon for having Christmas with his family. It was kind of busy, but now I'm having a good time with my darling's family. I feel my winter break started!

Although, it is a nice break for me, I should keep my English. Yesterday I started reading a book, The Final Gifts, which is going to be used for one of my classes next semester. That'll help me. Also the book is about the end-stage care in which I'm interested. When I borrowed this book at a library, a librarian said it is a good book.
I'm planing some other study during the winter break, but I;m not sure if I can do it...
How is your plan for your winter break?

End of the Semester

Finally, I finished the fall semester!
It was challenging semester for me (I think). In the middle of this semester, I really wanted to give up, but anyway, I could finish the semester.

What was the challenging for me is that I was taking 5 classes, 15 credits, this semester. It was a lot. When I registered classes for this semester, I thought it wasn't too bad, since I had been taking 14 credits last semester. I thought it was only 1 credit difference. However, it was big difference between 14 credits for 3 classes and 2 labs, and 15 credits for 5 classes and a lab for no credit.
I'd like to say to someone who is going to take undergraduate classes in the US, 15 credits are a lot, you have to be careful. But since I could finish this semester, I won't say it's impossible. It's just your....., up to you. One of the blogs which I read said that taking 15 credits a semester is impossible. When I read it I thought my life in the U.S. was end... I want to say it's really really hard, but it's not impossible. For international students who are going to take 15 credits next semester: GOOD LUCK

Another reason why it was challenging for me this semester might be, because I had to read a lot. As I mentioned before, I'm not good at reading. I think for me it takes 2 or 3 times more than an American student to read same amount of material. Also, if I consider understanding it is different. （理解してるかを考えるとまた別の話である.）Anyway, reading is very hard (also it makes me sleepy ).

I think because everything is my decision (such as study abroad), it is also my responsibility to study hard. I know I have to give much much more effort to take same grade as an American student, but that's my choice. That's why I have to work hard and do my best!
However, luckily, I have people who help and support me whenever I feel down here and in Japan. I really appreciate it.
Thank you everybody! I love you all!
Especially, I can never live here without my dearest darling who is my partner as well as my best friend.


So, I'm very looking forward to seeing my friends here tomorrow (17th), my friends in Japan and families in Toledo and Japan. I'll see you soon! (Also my friends whom I can not see soon are very important for me. Hope see them again soon too.)

I'm tired...

I finished one of my final exams.
I think it wasn't too bad, but I'm tired now. However, I have one more final, so I have to start studying for the next exam ASAP.

One of the questions which I had and I did not understand is about the MCO (managed care organization). I was confused about it yesterday when I was studying. I did not understand it today either. (I should have reviewed it more....) I think learning about the Health Care Delivery System in the US is important for me, so I'm going to review it.

MCO: health care system in which there is administrative control over primary health care services for a defined client population.
Medicare: Federally funded natinal health insurance program in the US for people over 65.
Medicaid: Federally funded, state-operated program of medical assistance to people with low incomes.

I think the key point for MCO is 'primary health care services.' The primar health care is basically education for preventing illness. (I got wrong for the question....)
Anyway, I realized I am comfused these and I have to know better about these. To study for the health care delivery system becomes one of my assignments during the winter vacation.

At the Starbucks

One of my favorite places for studying, especially reading, is Starbucks. As some of you may know, there is a Starbucks around the corner of my apartment. This Starbucks is relatively large, and many people go there and studying.

Usually I prefer a quiet place when I study, but I think I can study well at the Starbucks. I think the reasons are:
1) There is no computer (if I do not bring it with me).
2) I can ignore noise as it is not related to me.
3) Coffee, and its smell, makes me awake.
4) Many of customers are studying there, so they impact on me.
5) There is no games (game systems) or beds which disturb my study.

Anyway, I like studying at the Starbucks. There are some regulars for the Starbucks: one is an Asian man (looks in his 60s) who is always studying with a fat binder and thick books. Another man, who looks in his 40s, is always using his laptop and sometimes he leaves the laotop in the shop more than 30 minutes.
I saw them today too, but I was there before they came. I'm sure there are more regulars for the shop, so I have to go there more often and check customers.

Today, I saw an interesting situation at the Starbucks. A man who looks in his 50s came into the shop and prepared for chess. But he was alone. I was wondering when his friend comes....But actually, he was waiting someone who played chess with him (not particular person). I'm not sure how long he was waiting, but maybe after 30 minutes he came, a gentle man asked him if he could play chess with him. They did not look like they knew each other, it was kind an accident. (I don't know how to say...) And then, couple of more people joined them to playing chess.

I saw old Japan at the Starbucks in 2005 Cleveland. I imagine an old man sets shogi(将棋) outside, and another man who passes there asks the old man if he can play 将棋 with him, and more people join them....

Don't you think that's awesome? I thought that's cute. I think that Cleveland is a city where still has nice and warm interrelationships. I guess the man who brought the chess set is also one of the regulars for the Starbucks.

Kaiwa Club in Cleveland

Every Sunday is the day for Kaiwa club: English-Japanese conversation club. However, I can not go to the meeting(?) every week, but today I went there.

Sunday is my hatest day of the week, since I feel nervous about following week. Therefore, I can not enjoy at heart even when I go to the kaiwa club. The people there are so nice and I really like them, but usually the stress of school work is much much stronger.
However, I did not feel as bad as usual today, so I went to see nice people of Kaiwa Club. (Can I call them my friends?) Although I was studing there, I was listening their conversation as well. I think they really learn something which is very nice. Japanese taught/correct American's Japanese, and Americans explained/taught English meaning to Japanese. Also it was fun.
One time, maybe last year, Kaiwa Club was like a Game club. Truthfully to say, it was not good, and the current style seems more appropriate for the concept of the Kaiwa club. I should have brought some topics or questions about English, and I should have been an active participate of the conversations rather than studying.
(But if I did not study there, I would be getting nervous. So it was OK.)

Anyway, I spent a nice evening with Kaiwa Club friends, and I hope more people join us!

One Saturday

Today I spent an unusual day for me.
I went out more than 6 hours today! That's unusual for me who usually try to not spend money, study hard, and prefer to stay home.
I realized that going out was fun if I did not have so much stress of studying.

I finished my oral exam yesterday, so I feel I'm getting close to the winter vacation.

Actually, untile couple of days ago, I could not think about the holiday. Basically, during a semester, I feel like I waste time if I spend more than two hours for shopping.

I did lots of things which I had to do, as well as I tried Christmas shopping (but I failed). I was surprised that there were so many people went to shopping today (maybe because it was on Saturday or couple of weeks before Christmas). I also realized that I had not been shopping on Saturday... I think which is nice for me.

Anyway, I had good time today, but I think I should study for two more final exams, and I'll have a terrific vacation.

I'm done it.

I really feel better today, because I finished the oral exam. I think that wasn't too bad. I could answer all questions as well as the questions which added by the professor. I'll see.

I'm really bad at speaking in English. If I need to do it, I'll be soooo nervous. Therefore, the oral exam was diabolical for me. I think I need to practice to speak in English, otherwise, I'll fail clinical next semester. I think I don't feel comfortable when I speak English, so I need to change this part. Do not afraid of making mistakes. That's the important point!
But, I think sometimes that I am not talkative even in Japanese, so that must be very hard to talk more in English....

One of my friends in Japan studied linguistics. She said if someone studies a second language after the person grows up, the person can improve the second language only as good as his/her first language. She emphasized that therefore I need to improve my Japanese as well if I want to improve my English. That makes sense, doesn't it? For example, if you don't know computer words in your native toungue, you won't understand computer words in the second language either.

I need to ask my friend the way to improve my English speaking, but I think the key point may be to get used to it. So, I'll try to speak in English more. Please talk to me in English.

昨日はさぼりました。

昨日は明日の試験の莫大なるストレスで何をするにも中途半端で、ブログもさぼってしまいました。今日もストレス感じてますが、だんだんあきらめの心境が出てきています。できれば94％とりたいねんけど、明日の試験。

そもそも何でこんなに分からないんでしょうねー、哲学。考えれば考えるほど、頭の中が混乱していって、分け分からん状況になっていきます。英語のHow～の質問はもともと苦手なんですが、そんなんばっかりで更に小難しい言い回しをしてきます。哲学的な人間になりたい・・・

哲学の問題にぶつかると、私は今まで何も考えずに生きてきたのかなぁーと感じさせられます。確かにあまり疑問を感じずに生きてきたのかもしれません。教えられる事すべてが正しい事と思ってそれを受け入れるだけの教育をしてきたのでしょうか。ある種、日本の教育ってそんな風潮があると私は思うのですが、それって人のせいにしてるだけなんですよね。結局のところ。

今の大学に通い始めて、始めて（全学生が取らなければならない必須）クラスでは、“Women's Way of Knowing”という本を使います。それは女性の考え方・ものの受け入れ方・学び方などが始めの3分の２に書かれていて、どういう状況が女性をステップアップさせるか見たな事が書かれています。後の3分の1では確か、教育とか生活に密接して書かれていたと思うんですが、その中にBankingスタイルとかMidwifeスタイルとかありました。個人的にはBankingは日本の教育スタイルに似てるなー（少なくとも自分の受けた）と思ってました。Midwifeは教育者・教育を受ける人、両者が対等な感じでMidwifeは産婦に応じて出産の方法を変えたり、一緒にきめたりするように、先生は生徒に応じて教え方を変えたり、考えたりしなあかん、みたいな感じだったと思います。“認め”が大切だったような。。。
何が言いたいのか良く分からなくなってきたけど、もっと考えないとだめだなぁーってそんなことでしょうか？必要なのはCritical Thikingです。

今日のクラスでは、Control of Human Fertilityについてだったのですが、世界的な人口の急増とは逆に日本では少子化が問題視されてますよね。だからといって、日本政府が子供を増やすように奨励する事は、世界的な観点から行くと逆行してる事になるんです。その理論は分かるけど、じゃー、日本人は滅亡してもいいってことになるんでしょうか??もういっそのこと、世界が一つの国になれば一番わかりやすいんでしょうけどね。John Lennonの暗殺された日に、彼が世界に訴えていたことも考えて見ました。何故同じ人間でイガミ合わなければならないのか、何故宗教を持つものが他の宗教を持つものを認められないのか…　世の中よく分からないことばかりです。


明日の試験、とりあえず早く終わらせたい。何とか適当にごまかし喋れますように・・・

学期末目前

って言うか、今学期末って呼んでいいのでしょうか？
いよいよ授業は来週月曜が最後、その後はFinal Weekとなります。最近の授業ではグループまたは個人でのプレゼンが主となっています。しかしながら、まだTerm Projectのペーパー書きや、はたまた試験勉強なんかに追われています。

何日か前にも書いたのですが、倫理のクラス、分かりませーん。難しいですねー。今日も半分泣きながら勉強してました。（実は教えてもらってました。忙しいのにごめんねー、ダーリン。）生命倫理のクラスなのですが、今のトピックは更に哲学的な部分に入っていて、医学倫理と環境倫理（って言うのか？）をいかに重なり合わせてより良い世界を作っていけるかーみたいな感じです。えらい倫理学者の言葉なんかを説明しなくてはなりません。しかも一番いやな事に、そのクラスのFinalは口頭試験です。その噂はクラスをとる前から聞いてたのですが、その先生のクラスを採りたかった（かなり学内でも人気でWaiting Listも出る先生です）、これは私にとって試練だと思って頑張るしかないですね。それさえ済めば後は２つのCummlativeの試験に向けて突っ走るのみです。

そしたら１ヶ月ほど、英語を忘れない程度にほどほどにのんびりしようかと思っています。