Q: I was just diagnosed with a brain tumor, a severe illness which I just don't know whether I will be cured or not. I shared this with my friend, Cathy, and she said "You will be healed. Let's trust in God that He will work on your brain tumor." when I heard her say this, i was very upset. I said to myself, "what do you know about my illness and how I am feeling right now" "how can you be so optimistic and irresponsible by saying God will heal? You don't have the illness I have" and I don't believe in God so it made me more upset, that Cathy is so irresponsible by saying that it will definitely heal. I am just angry at her now. how should I interpret this, b/c I know Cathy is a devoted Christian and she is not a bad person, I don't want to lose her, but I am now having resentment over her, and I don't feel like talking to her anymore.
A: It's OK on how you are feeling right now. I think it was a very honest reaction when Cathy responded in such a way. Understood. So let's try to process what went on.
I am sure Cathy had a good intension for saying "you will be healed". Let's try to put in her shoes, what did she want to do? how did she want to help you? What was her belief? where does it come from?
I believe it was from her honest belief that God can heal all illness. We have to understand where she is coming from, and that is what she believes. but that does not necessary mean what you believe, on the contrary, you are thinking that "I will never be cured""I'm done, I am going to die" "what future would I have with this illness". so there is the difference of belief here and you may say it as differences in values. Your negative perspective vs her positive perspective.
and it's OK that we have differences in values, opinions, and beliefs. We all do. So just accept it as that is what Cathy believes and you believe in a different way. And just understand that from what Cathy believes, that was the best way she thought would comfort you b/c the way she believes does comfort her. One can only portray what they believe or what worked for them.
Cathy could have said, "I really don't know how you feel now, and it's hard for me to even imagine getting the diagnosis, but...."
b/c maybe you just wanted that acknowledgement, or validation, empathy, where you wanted Cathy to just understand what you are now
going through, your feelings of fear, anxiety to be understood. Perhaps Cathy could have added that clause in the beginning, which you may have felt better to hear what she had to say afterwards.
But I believe there are things medicine cannot explain. I have heard many stories where broken bones were healed over night, or that the cancer disappeared without any medical interventions. So our divine power may have true healing power, but again, that's if we believe, as most of the people had the belief that it will heal and it did. I have not heard many on those who were resistant towards believing in the divine power of healing, who were actually healed. In the bible it says "it is your faith that healed you" so for those who believe in what the bible says, they will believe. and if their belief actually has healing power, why not? your ultimate goal is to be healed, no?
What medicine had proved is that when we have attitude of gratitude, and we choose to be happy, we produce the happy hormones that work to fight against illnesses. that we build up the immune system to fight and heal illnesses. So maybe there is truth to that.
sometimes it is what we believe that heals us and sometimes there is no explanation to it, no medical evidence to prove what the divine power does on a scientific level, but it does and all we know is what we have in front of us, the proof that one had healed.
Also when we have certain beliefs, we aim for it, everything is going towards that goal and that direction, you are putting all your positive energy and time towards that healing, so it makes sense that if you are determined that it will be cured, it may well happen. It doesn't hurt to try, no? Just keep reminding yourself "I will be cured" "I will not be defeated" "I am going to conquer this cancer""I am not going to listen to what the devil is trying to counter attack me. I believe in the divine healing power."
so it's a matter of values and beliefs where we are all different. It is for you to choose, and if someone has different beliefs than you,
respect their beliefs. Maybe you may want to ask Cathy where her optimism comes from? or to ask her why she is always so content?
what is her secret? and it could be her belief. You may also want to share how you felt about what Cathy had said and share what your beliefs are. Hope this conversation may lead to a meaningful discussion for you both to get to know each other better.
it's OK to have different opinions and beliefs.
when you find out other people's opinions and beliefs, you bring riches in you where you are able to accept differences, and not to feel
resentful just b/c someone has different values than you do.
the world is fun and interesting b/c we are all different in values and in our beliefs.
there is no right or wrong, when it comes to beliefs and opinions.
you don't have to prove yourself that you are right, it's not a competition of win or lose.
but i believe having a positive perspective in life can give you peace in your heart and mind, which leads to better health.
Good luck.
***
if you need further guidance, feel free to contact me.
www.caretheworld.com
A: It's OK on how you are feeling right now. I think it was a very honest reaction when Cathy responded in such a way. Understood. So let's try to process what went on.
I am sure Cathy had a good intension for saying "you will be healed". Let's try to put in her shoes, what did she want to do? how did she want to help you? What was her belief? where does it come from?
I believe it was from her honest belief that God can heal all illness. We have to understand where she is coming from, and that is what she believes. but that does not necessary mean what you believe, on the contrary, you are thinking that "I will never be cured""I'm done, I am going to die" "what future would I have with this illness". so there is the difference of belief here and you may say it as differences in values. Your negative perspective vs her positive perspective.
and it's OK that we have differences in values, opinions, and beliefs. We all do. So just accept it as that is what Cathy believes and you believe in a different way. And just understand that from what Cathy believes, that was the best way she thought would comfort you b/c the way she believes does comfort her. One can only portray what they believe or what worked for them.
Cathy could have said, "I really don't know how you feel now, and it's hard for me to even imagine getting the diagnosis, but...."
b/c maybe you just wanted that acknowledgement, or validation, empathy, where you wanted Cathy to just understand what you are now
going through, your feelings of fear, anxiety to be understood. Perhaps Cathy could have added that clause in the beginning, which you may have felt better to hear what she had to say afterwards.
But I believe there are things medicine cannot explain. I have heard many stories where broken bones were healed over night, or that the cancer disappeared without any medical interventions. So our divine power may have true healing power, but again, that's if we believe, as most of the people had the belief that it will heal and it did. I have not heard many on those who were resistant towards believing in the divine power of healing, who were actually healed. In the bible it says "it is your faith that healed you" so for those who believe in what the bible says, they will believe. and if their belief actually has healing power, why not? your ultimate goal is to be healed, no?
What medicine had proved is that when we have attitude of gratitude, and we choose to be happy, we produce the happy hormones that work to fight against illnesses. that we build up the immune system to fight and heal illnesses. So maybe there is truth to that.
sometimes it is what we believe that heals us and sometimes there is no explanation to it, no medical evidence to prove what the divine power does on a scientific level, but it does and all we know is what we have in front of us, the proof that one had healed.
Also when we have certain beliefs, we aim for it, everything is going towards that goal and that direction, you are putting all your positive energy and time towards that healing, so it makes sense that if you are determined that it will be cured, it may well happen. It doesn't hurt to try, no? Just keep reminding yourself "I will be cured" "I will not be defeated" "I am going to conquer this cancer""I am not going to listen to what the devil is trying to counter attack me. I believe in the divine healing power."
so it's a matter of values and beliefs where we are all different. It is for you to choose, and if someone has different beliefs than you,
respect their beliefs. Maybe you may want to ask Cathy where her optimism comes from? or to ask her why she is always so content?
what is her secret? and it could be her belief. You may also want to share how you felt about what Cathy had said and share what your beliefs are. Hope this conversation may lead to a meaningful discussion for you both to get to know each other better.
it's OK to have different opinions and beliefs.
when you find out other people's opinions and beliefs, you bring riches in you where you are able to accept differences, and not to feel
resentful just b/c someone has different values than you do.
the world is fun and interesting b/c we are all different in values and in our beliefs.
there is no right or wrong, when it comes to beliefs and opinions.
you don't have to prove yourself that you are right, it's not a competition of win or lose.
but i believe having a positive perspective in life can give you peace in your heart and mind, which leads to better health.
Good luck.
***
if you need further guidance, feel free to contact me.
www.caretheworld.com
