As I was reading Hachiko & Boboru's Diary on “
Man-shaped void”, I thought of poems I wrote about 9 years ago. (Reading them now, they sound more like monology rather than poems....) I wonder, are those voids inherited within us from ages and ages ago?
Void, inherited
Why was a man made so that
He felt lonesome in solitude?
He had God all to himself.
He had the garden all to himself.
Why was he lonely still?
Something is missing,
The void he sensed
Must be inherited within us all.
Void, inherited II
Somehow a man is made so that
He still feels lonesome with company
Or with the most beloved one.
The soul wanders alone to seek
Communion with God within himself.
Fearful of having that void again
By losing his beloved woman,
Adam caused a greater void.
The desire to commune with God face to face
Turns our hearts to heaven so.
Something is lost,
The void he endured
Must be inherited within us all.
Blaise Pascal, who was a mathematician and a Christian, recognized two voids saying, “It is natural for the mind to believe and for the will to love; so that, for want of true objects, they must attach themselves to false.” (
Pensees 81)
A famous Japanese Christian author Ayako Miura wrote a Tanka (short poem) like this one.
“Spending an evening with my husband, I'm still feeling lonesome. Several Scriptures are visiting my mind.”
Then she explained it. “This loneliness, shall I call it spiritual hunger or part of human nature.... This does not indicate a human relationship problem, but the loneliness felt between God and man. It is important for human beings to experience this solitude.” This is about God-shaped void.
Moreover, Saneatsu Musyanokoji (Japaense author) speaks to us in a short chapter called “Small loneliness” filled with pearls of wisdom. “Longing for something. But it's quiet and faint. Seeking for something. But I don't even know what I'm seeking for. Yet this loneliness makes a man sober. Quiet. Makes a man seek for something honestly. It's humbling. So I cherish such loneliness as something pure. I don't want to disregard it. It's clean aspiration.” I want to learn to cherish solitude so.
This weekend, I happened to be discussing with my Christian friend about what causes people to seek after God. She said, “When people have worries or feel as though they're missing something, then they look for God.” So I responded, “But we should be after God even without problems or lack of something.” Then I was dismayed realizing that “
reliance on God in the time of trouble” was the norm in my spiritual walk! It is kind of selfish, but there's no reason to hesitate seeking for God when you're really thirsty. What He actually wants us to do in thirst is to seek Him. So those two voids within us are a gift, for us to appreciate the connection with God and others more deeply, as we are still somewhere in between the Garden of Eden and our heavenly home.
