Independence and Maturity

2017-01-25 16:11:05 | 日記
25/01/2017 (afternoon) I ate a Port-Western dish again and royal milk tea as lunch. I went shopping at the supermarket, meanwhile my father made an important conversation with his colleague on the matter of real estates' negotiation in his office. I should be absent there.

My father is a negociater of Real Estates in this region. I use his office to do my job.
I myself deny the human beings' legitimacy of Real Estates or land property. However, I am free from his economic activities at all. I don't rely on him financially. I just rent a part of his office.
And he isn't a DoDoMerdic negociater. He helps people who need residence. His income is extremely low, againt his intention.

SATO family has long tradition in this region as much as other ordinary families here in Shirakawa.
It dates back to the middle age. We were rich for 300 years. However, we have been poor for these 100 years.
I like to hear family episodes of our family. It's just like "Tibbau Family" "Cien Anos de Solidade" "Budenbroke Family". There are many interesting predicessors in our family.

The most favorite is my grand-Grand father Kintaro SATO.
He was born rich and wasted whole his property, and more, owed vast debts. In his period, SATO family became from rich celebrity in the region to poor modest family.

Why he wasted his money? Because, he was handsome and popular, especially among beutiful ladies. He spent lots of money for the relationship with them.
Furthermore, he was hospitalized in Univ. of Tokyo Hospital. It costed much more than his property.
Thus, the hospital of Univ. of Tokyo is our destinated enemy.
I didn't know the fact until I got a doctral degree of law at Univ. of Tokyo.

I liked to think as if he were YONOSUKE, the protagonist of "KOUSHOKU-ICHIDAI-ITOKO" by SAIKAKU IHARA.
In Japan, there is a proverb, that "Handsome Lady Killer has no money nor power".
According to this proverb, my respectful Grand Grand father chose the way, that is, enjoyed his life of love and affection and threw away his money and power.
I understand his choice. He was a trouble person in our family history, however, every one hasn't accused him of it. "No way. That's he."
I myself is independent from others' property. I don't care how much other member of my family use them.
However, if someone abuses my money, the things are different.

I was astonished how much YUKARI had spent for unnecessary utencils.
Just one example I offer. She bought more than 100 plastic conteners!
Each one was so cheap. However, why she did need to buy such amount of plastic conteners, although she wasn't good at cooking?
Our house is filled with such unnecessary utencils especially for culinary. Our kitchen is so tiny. I would be drowned in the ocean of utensils. The living room of our main house isn't able to use because of accumulated utencils, in fact.

I got to know that YUKARI was mentally ill when she was in Hachioji.
She called herself "housewife", however, she were accustomed to buy frozen made-up food packages and cooked dishes at the supermarket, although our money was limited. She bought frozen Chinese meat pie called "Gyoza", "Mini-Hamburgs", "Japanese fried chikens or KARA-AGEs". They are so easy to cook. I taught my kids to cook hamburgs when they were in WAKABA kindergarden.
I enjoyed the activies with kids. However, YUKARI criticised it, saying, "Hamberg making is dangerous, becuse germs afftect kids' health. You are a crazy parent, who doesn't know the fact!"

For her, everything is dangerous. She was accustomed to borrow lots of books on "Child abusers" from public libraries in Hachioji. Always she had read these types of books, although my kids were already taller than her.
I thought that she was mad, however, she accused me not to pay attention to latent attacks of child abusers.

Sometimes, I wanted to consult her problem to public health care service, however, I was too busy to do so.

She is the figure, that says always "No" to my choice. That's conditioned spine reflex to a stimulus, i.e., to my action.
I have wanted my kids to be as free, at least as I. She wants my kids to be contrary to me.
She is a broken robot, without ability of rational nor logical thinking.

Why she has collected such a mount of utensils, although she dislikes cooking?
Maybe, she forgets what she has. When she notices lack of something and has some money, she buys it automatically. This action has been repeated until now.
She has no income. However, she has desire to consume.

I've read a book rebiew that says consuming is a substitute to conquer the inferior complex.
Some figures spend money just for losing. Only in the moment of consumption, they feel satisfaction.
They can get pseudo satisfaction by way of spending money.
YUKARI is an accumulated mountai of the inferior complex.
Thus, YUKARI found outlet of her desire, buying unnecessity utensils at the cost of my money.

She uses minimum utensils repeatedly. Others are just rubbish.
Before I started to make an order in the living room, at least for more than 3 monthes she hadn't touch the ammount of rubbish at all. For her, the scene was too common and could be put up with.
Maybe, the scene impressed to IZUMI-san, who visited our house after 30 years absence.
It was an believable scene, for common people, considering that there are two householders in the house.

YUKARI has jobless for more than 20 years. Why she doesn't make an order in the house? Why she leaves so much utensils in desorder?
She is totally insensitive at this point.

And I remember that when YUKARI was an infant, she was accustomed to break many things. She broke at lots of glass windows repeatedly. Why? I don't know. However, she destroyed lots of valuables.

Recently, maybe by accident, a big term jar has broken. It costs almost US$30. My mother told me that she had dropped it from the shelf, because it had never been left before. My mother presumed that my son Alex put the jar on the dangerous place after he cooked an instant food.
I didn't scold Alex, because I didn't know if he really put it or not. And even so, he caused some factor to the breaking, but he himself was not the main actor of the accident.
Now, my mother wants to have a new rice cooker. Because it is too small for our family, she said to me.
However, why now? I eat several times some bowlful of rice per week. I am not the reason of her rare desire of consumption. If I were her, I would cook rice in a pan, instead of electric rice cooker.

My mother and YUKARI made a conversation on the plan to buy a new jar and a new rice cooker.
YUKARI is also my mother's companion robot. She spends most of time in my mother's chamber, with her feet under the electric heating table, watching TV and chatting with each other.
I have almost nothing to make a conversation with my mother. I don't know what they are talking every day for more than 5 hours.
Their way of thinking is similar and they feel sympathy each other.
When we feel sympathy, we can transmit some character each other.
In case of us, people, we can develop our ability and extend our reach.
In case of DoDoMerdic communication, they deteriorate or go downward, losing their limited virtues.

This is just I have experienced through my harsh experiences during my Kyorin period.
I hope that my mother be strong enough to resist her broken robot's bad influence.

I myself in the process of ordial of Gods of Justice. My mother isn't exception.
Each one individually are judged by them.
We people are always in this type of trials, even we are not conscious of them.
Gods are omnipotent and omnipresent. We can't evade them.
We are watched by them always everywhere and protected by them.
However, we shouldn't be so afraid of them, because they leave us within a certain point.
We people are not perfect, thus, they allow our mistakes in a certain degree.
However, there is a limit. It is called "internal limit" in Constitutional Law.

If we people go beyond the "internal limit" or tolerance like, we feel pain in our consiencee.
So we get to know that we are doing wrong and stop it, as soon as possible.
Gods understand that we are feeble and inperfect existance. Thus, they allow us, if we stop at the certain point.
However, if we continue to the wrongdoing, after the notice, or refusing to notice it, the punishment is so severe.
They want us to be responsible, as much as possible. We can't evade when we reach the age of maturity.
The age is different among each person. In my case, I'm sure, I am slow learner at this point, that is, I get mature, after long childhood.
As a matter of fact, I am allowed to be a child, if I am responsible to my actions. "Maturity" means being responsible. Children of People are free from interest oriented thinking, which is distinctive incination of DoDoMerdic kids.
Thus, we, people, as a adults' priviledge, have choice to do adult' like behaveours or child-like ones.
I sometimes behave like adults, sometimes like children.
Even when I behave like children, I don't escape from my responsiblity. I think that it's each one's preference of style, which is totally allowed by Gods.

Thus, I want to enjoy the plays for adults and also for kids. I want to enjoy my whole life, which I couldn't have done during my Kyorin period at all.
Let's come to my house and play with me! I love almost every kind of plays, except some peculiar activities.
When I was a child, I was not good at athiletics at all. However, I got to know that I'm good at dancing and walking for long hours, and I prefer all night non-stop dancing.
I am not satisfied with my actual life. I rent a part of office of my father and sleep in my mother's chamber. I am a liberalist, while my mother an extreme protectionalist.
It means that Christian Fundamentalists live in the same room with Islamic Fundamentalists.
You can imagine how difficult for us to coexist in the same phase.
And the volucan ready for eruption is Alex, my son, which is the main factor of our unproductive paralleled never-ending battle.

Thus, I need to find a job, suitable for me, who thinks to be multi-talented in a plain level in every field of academism, entertainment, physical working, etc., in order to get my own living place anywhere in the world.
People, please inform to your friends on me, that Dr.Miyuki SATO is seeking for a job. She is a diligent worker, good at everything, can do everything, almost, if it's not inhuman.

I want to play with you, as soon as possible. Give me a chance! Help me! Save me! Please give me a job!!!!!!!

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