SKIN DEEP:Epilogue

Yesterday,BD and Anna were awoken by the shrill of that
Godforsaken shrilling telephone ring.That caused them to jump up still half asleep,fumbling for that phone.Next to the
phone,stood the clock that read eight am.
Almost in unison, they both made annoyed faces, not happy about the early morning call.But on Anna hearing who it was
from,woke her up quick sharp.
"BD san no otaku desu ka."<"Is BD living there ?">
"Hai,so desu." <"He does.">
"Kochira wa Keisatsu desu." <"This is the police.">
Anna now stood up out of bed,whilst BD looked at her in wonderment, unaware of what was being spoken.
Anna put her hand over the mouthpiece to say,
"It's the cops,they found your bicycle."
BD didn't know how to feel.He'd gotten a new,cheap bike,so
having it returned was a mixed blessing.He could only like a car, use one at a time.
A few moments later,Anna put down the phone and told him they were gonna bring it around.
"They want to ask you some questions." Anna stated.
"What for ? Just give me the bicycle and done."BD fussed.

It was an hour later,when they turned up with Anna and BD nervously wondering what questions were needed to be asked.But the crux of it was for BD to properly identify the bike and do the necessary paperwork.That was done with
BD fingerprinting the papers provided and through Anna,answering some general questions.
The bike's condition looked like it'd been slapped around
by someone and the little rust had spread.But it was still his.
After the two police officers had left,BD asked what had he
fingerprinted about
"The first paper was to verify it was yours and the second was to state you weren't gonna press charges." Anna replied.
"What ? Why didn't you tell me about that second one ? I
wanna sue his ass for the inconvenience.I wanna press to the full extent of the law." BD exclaimed."Or allow me to
sock him good just once.If I'd been the thief,I'd be in jail
for sure.MoFo."
Anna just ignored his whinge,despite BD's best efforts to get her to comment. She knew he was only joking about
charging him.Anna didn't know that BD had registered it allowing it to be traced by the serial number.
She was grumpier about having her sleep disturbed for nothing to do with her.
Later that day,when he'd calm down,BD reflected on what he'd thought,when he first lost his bike,about Japanese.He
had been feeling humbled because he knew back home,
there would have been no way he'd have seen the bike again.But he still wasn't happy about its state and when he
rode it he felt worse.
But a children's song from work came into his head suddenly making him smile."When you're happy and you know it...."

SKIN DEEP:

It was about nine pm,when BD and Anna returned to his pad.They had had an enjoyable afternoon,
at the putter golf range,walking the shopping mall and visiting the aquarium downtown.Their time
together had felt more like a newly minted couple's betrothal indicating the seriousness of their
feelings, more than the realization that the BD they both had come to accept would be no more.
BD had put on a brave face wanting Anna to have a good time.But inside he was hurting majorly.
They slumped down onto the sofa simultaneously,breathing heavily,but in good spirits.Anna felt to
have a last gasp glass of sake and went to the cupboard to get it.
"You drank some," she exclaimed surprised.
"Uh ? Oh that ?" BD sheepishly replied."I just wanted a little buzz the other day,when I was by myself."
"Well, we gonna have a glass now to forget our old life..." Anna began.
"And begin with the new together," he finished.
They did a kampai and took big sips.They caught each other's eyes and despite the initial shyness,felt warmth
and love to each other,though neither of them could express it verbally.Instead...
"Tomorrow, my holiday is over.I'm gonna do what I gotta do and make things happen." BD said upbeat.
"You sounding genki ?" Anna remarked."What's that ?"
"You hit the nail on the head there," BD began and then on seeing Anna's confused face,reworded it to "Anna, you're right.
When I was a teacher,I wasn't genki.It was a classic take the money and run attitude.Which at least half the gaijin over here
are doing anyway.
But now I will have to do some real work and earn my money," with the last sentence said in a determined tone.
"What about your foreign friends ? You were saying that you can't see your family and friends, remember ?"
"Because I see them and chat,does that make us real friends ?" BD said laughing."I could tell you my real feelings,but I'm feeling
too happy.Must be the hit from the sake making me talk like that."
"Come here," Anna said."Less chat,more..."
"Yeah,yeah,yeah," BD interrupted as he bashfully returned the embrace,silencing him momentarily.
"How are you ?" He said breaking off from a kiss.
"Is this an English lesson ?" Anna joked."If not,I was fine till we stopped."
BD deemed it a common sense move to broach her feelings another time and picked up where they'd left off.The rest of the night
was a short and sweet one,with the both of them bonding in depth.

BD opened his eyes the next day sleepily.Then he felt the head of Anna on his chest,causing him to
smile.He gently kissed the top of her head,to which she acknowledged it by stirring softly.
BD,feeling the call of nature,gently slid her head off of him and gingerly went to the toilet.After finishing,he went to the washbasin,
when he let out a loud scream that resounded around the apartment.
"I'm back,I can't believe it.I'm back. Anna,look."he yelled,jumping up and down like crazy.
It seemed an eternity for Anna to come out of the room,but when she saw BD,she began crying.They stood looking at each other like strangers,
almost glued to the spot.
"You're white again,"she stated.
"I know,but how and why ?" BD said,still stunned.
"Does it really matter ?" Anna asked."You got what you wanted back."
BD took some time to digest Anna's last statement,wondering was it how he truly felt.He felt an almost letdown of sorts,as he'd mentally geared
himself up for his new way of life.
But over the next thirty minutes,he was able to get used to being Caucasian BD again and he was feeling positive about it.
"BD,what time is work ?" Anna asked.
"Today is the 10-6 shift," he replied whilst checking the time.It read just after 8.30am.
"Yokatta ne ?" Anna said smiling.Words couldn't have explained the joy in her heart.She felt as happy as the day BD had first said he loved her,which
seemed so long ago.
She retreated to lie down on the bed,with the sliding door open, so that she could see BD getting ready for work.He was singing along to his
favorite rock band's song,bursting with happiness.
Then suddenly his cell phone,sitting on the coffee table began ringing.For a sec,he forgot that things were fine now to pick up.Laughing to himself,
BD walked over to answer it.Without a second look,he picked up the phone.
"Moshi,moshi," BD said.
"BD.It's Miki.I knew you were still in Japan.When can we meet ?"


The End.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you could enjoy this fictional story.

SKIN DEEP:

It was a sweaty,sleepless night as he laid in bed tossing and turning.BD felt
that he had been sleeping, but that it had been so light,that he had awakened
umpteen times.Twice was due to sweating in his sleep,needing to change his
t-shirt.Earlier he'd tried without any on,but had become cold by the air-conditioner,
resulting in wearing another t-shirt again.
Anna barked at him for his clustering sleep,frustrating her enough to turn head and foot to
try and get a decent sleep.
BD complained that she had set it off by having told him he'd done a week as a Japanese,
causing some internal mumbo-jumbo to mess with him.Anna had threatened to give her own dose,
if he didn't keep stiller.Through what means,BD couldn't say exactly,but Anna's expression of intention
to have a go at him seemed to work, as by five thirty am,he was finally able to sleep properly in relative stillness.

BD woke up to the smell of 'The Works' being cooked for breakfast.He was feeling pretty hungry and thankful that
since Anna was off today,she could be around to whip up an oishii breakfast.BD didn't mind eating a Japanese style
breakfast,but he could not devour it in the same manner as the works.Yes it was high calorie,but not eating it wouldn't
prevent eternal life,as if he really wanted it.And that line,life is short ? BD would sometimes imagine when a person's
life was really screwed up and the light was not even pretending to be at the end of the tunnel,what consolation would
there be in hearing,life is short ? When things are on keel,BD always seemed to hear it,but never when up shit's creek.
"Why's that ?"He said aloud.
"Why's what ?"
BD turned around startled,to see Anna standing at the doorway.
"Nothing," an embarrassed BD mumbled back.
"Talking to yourself again,eh ? Anna said lightly."It's the first sign of madness you know."
BD chose not to reply to Anna's jest.He did feel like he was going mad.Now all he needed was to answer himself and he would be.
"Is brekkie ready ? BD cheerfully said catching a stronger sniff with the sliding bedroom door opened."I'm really hungry."
"It is."BD jumped up like a big kid,washed his face and settled down into his bacon,ham,eggs,sausages,green peas, piece of buttered toast
and piping hot brewed tea.
"What wrong with your sleep last night ? It was crazy." Anna said indicating that she was still peeved over her own broken sleep.
"I kept dreaming about getting old as a Japanese and never having a normal life again.Or seeing my family and friends back home."BD
answered quietly.
"How long can you survive you think like this ?" Anna said.
"I'm not sure,but if I can do the necessary paperwork and such.I got at least ten more years." BD mused hopefully,though his facial look
didn't come close to matching his optimism.His face betrayed plenty of doubt.
"What paperwork ?" Anna chimed in.
"Don't you worry about that ? Shall we go out ? BD said shifting gears or the questioning."I know it's a Monday weekday,but let's enjoy it."
Anna was happy to hear BD's idea to leave the apartment.Before their lives changed forever,they were up to enjoying themselves,
because things would never be the same again.About that,both BD and Anna were certain.

SKIN DEEP:

"Why you laughing so much ?" BD queried,feeling slighted at his choice of programming.
Anna,sensing the hurt in BD's voice said,
"I used to watch that program when I was a kid and hearing that you watched it today was so funny."
"Of course,I couldn't catch hardly any of it," a better sounding BD said,"but it was visually entertaining."
"What did you do after you woke up ?" Anna wondered.
" Er,I went for a walk and I...,eeto,mita...," BD began mumbling and then broke it off.
"And ?" A frowning,unsure Anna asked."Why you gone all coy ?"
"You're gonna laugh if I tell you,"BD replied shyly.
"No I won't,tell me BD," Anna anxiously said.She wasn't a fan of being kept in the dark over anything and BD's
reluctance to speak forthrightly was bugging her.
BD still hesitated to speak prompting a stern look from Anna and a comment.
"When you were a gaijin...," she began before BD cut in.
"Ok,ok and ok." BD barked. "You been saying that all goddam week."
"Because...,look, just oshiete then." Anna demanded.
"Kyo,ore ga motono sugatani modottano wo konbini no mado de mitanda." BS said fluently and smiling.
Anna's eyes widened so much,that an uneasy BD leaned back as if they were going to explode and splash the remnants
all over him.He also could not work out which shocked Anna more,his one time perfectly spoken Japanese or he saying
he'd seen his old self.
"Yo,you ok Anna?"BD said gathering himself again and made a move towards Anna.But she stopped him with....
"BD,what did you just say ?" Her voice pitch at least three octaves higher.
"In Japanese or in English ?" BD said playfully.
"English." She snapped.
"I was walking and I saw the old me in a shop window."
"Are you sure ?" Anna exclaimed.
"I do know what I used to look like you know." BD snorted back.
"I know that,but for how long though ?"
"A split second."
"That's it ?"
"Yes,but it was me."
Anna went silent, with only disbelief in her thoughts,she refrained unwillingly though from commenting.BD however,
picked up on her reticence.
"So you don't believe me Anna,you saying ? BD questioned.
"I never say that BD.Don't put words my mouth."
"In my mouth,"BD corrected.
"Yeah that."
BD knew correcting Anna would provoke her,so he,by working,as an English teacher,tactfully only corrected the really obvious glaring omission.

The rest of the evening was clearly delicate in language.They'd seemed to develop a conversational tone of talking without it being too personal,but it didn't mean
boring.
"I'd love to go overseas on holiday,"Anna put forth.
"Oh yea ? I have two reasons why I don't want to." BD said in a tone,wanting Anna to ask why.To which she adhered to.
"Nande ?"
"For starters,I can't use my passport and two is this bullshit oil surcharge.I ain't going anywhere until they get rid of it." BD defiantly stated.
Anna smiled,shaking her head said,"You might be here for awhile,since it's making them money."
The time was approaching eleven o'clock and BD was feeling quite peckish.He asked Anna to whip up something.
"I can make you a natto toasted sandwich," she offered.
"Nah,I tried some of that.It was oishikunai."
"BD,you are not yet a true Nihonjin,if you can't eat natto," Anna advised.
" With that yucky taste,I can stay as an outsider,no probs."
Suddenly Anna realized something. "BD,it's almost a week since you changed into a Japanese."
BD began calculating and soon noticed that it was true.
"But tomorrow," Anna gently said,"is your last day before you supposed to work."
BD had either been in closet denial of it coming up or was completely unawares because his face changed a crimson,sorrowful one.
The thud he felt, was his heart letting him know that the end was not in sight.

SKIN DEEP:

It was about thirty minutes later,that the program finished and BD again was left fighting off
his disillusionment of losing his bicycle,yet feeling a sense of hope that he could one day in the
future,change back to being white again.It wasn't that he necessarily had a problem with being Japanese
per se,but he felt split down the middle emotionally.He wasn't feeling as confrontational as before,
unless he found the person who had stolen from him,however he just wanted some resolution one way
or another.

Anna wasn't due to arrive at his place till about nine pm,leaving BD to struggle to find things to do until she came by.
He had popped by the 'Supa' to get some gyoza and ate that with rice.He also had some natto which Anna had left in the fridge.
But after a mouthful,knew that he wasn't Japanese enough to handle that smelly, putrid tasting, sticky soya beans and scrapped
what he had on his plate,back into the container.
He had calmed down considerably from having his bike taxed,but knew he was going to get a mouthful from Anna,when she came over.
He was right.
"How long had I been telling you to get a new lock ?" Anna said in a harsh tone."Why did you think it wouldn't be stolen sooner or later ?
And you'd just gone to the bicycle repair shop,the other day.If it'd be stolen then,fine.But what a waste of money that was in the end."

BD was momentarily at a loss to decide which to choose if he could.Getting the bike back or changing back to his original self.With her yapping,
showing no signs of abating,it would have been a close call,if he'd had to make it.
"This is my bad week for karma," BD said in a surrendering tone.
" Karma had nothing to do with it," Anna replied annoyed.
"Because you don't believe in it,but I do." BD calmly replied.
"Karma ain't got jack to do with it.You were too carefree and baka. That simple."
BD said nothing but thought aplenty,thinking how cold she was.Maybe her not being pregnant was a good thing.He wasn't up for a daughter carrying
on like that.
"I know you're thinking,lucky I not knocked up."
BD almost gasped in disbelief,he hadn't told her he knew she wasn't.
"I wasn't thinking that at all," BD said shakily.
"You lied better when you looked like a gaijin,"Anna confidently retorted."Your face didn't go red."
"I can't drink or lie as I am," BD moaned."I am karmally fucked for life aren't I ?"
"Karmally ? Never heard of that word.Did you make that up ?"
"It sounds a legitimate word to me." BD warned.
"Did you have anything good happen today ?" Anna said changing the vibes.
BD was caught off guard for a moment.With Anna's admonishments and complaints,seeing himself had completely
been erased from his mind until she mentioned something else.
But the fervor and enthusiasm that BD had had earlier in the day had been greatly tempered to an almost whimper.
He really wasn't in the mood to be ridiculed on top of everything else.
"Well,what did you do today ?" Anna half cheerfully questioned.
"I watched tv." BD said,in a tone of wanting to end the conversation.
"What ?"
"An anime ?" He replied, still circumspect.
"On cable or regular tv ?" Anna inquired, interested."Spit it out,what's the name as well ?"
"Tensai Bakabon." BD said squirming,causing Anna to burst out laughing unashamedly and hysterically.
BD sat there with a clenched fist,but not to use,more to qualm his brittle nerves.He hadn't told her the best bit yet.

SKIN DEEP:

BD had had some extra pep in his step on his way home.And though it was the
slightest of glances of himself in the window,he really believed that it had been him.
He was dying to call up the only person he could,being Anna, and tell her what had taken
place.But on entering his apartment,he began to have some concerns that Anna would look
at him as crazy,despite the fact he believed he hadn't become any stupider as a Japanese.
At first,through fighting the urge and then later using common sense,BD hung on and didn't
ring her.
Instead,he got ready to go the gym to work out.Buoyed with energy and time to use,
he sped on his chalinko to the gym,looking around,exchanging cordial greetings with the staff and had a pretty
good work out,even by his low standards.
On leaving the gym,ninety minutes later,still upbeat,whilst walking to his bicycle,just outside the gym,
BD looked in horror to see that it had gone.He stared in the space as if it was still there,just temporarily hiding.
When sure that it wasn't coming back into view,BD made his way to the main parking area,in the vain hope that
someone had moved it there.He walked along the pathway slowly,surveying each one,moving his head like watching
a tennis game.But it wasn't there.BD's heart felt gutted as he had only the previous week taken it to be repaired.
But the one thing he had decided not to get fixed was the bike's lock.He generally faked it that he was locking the bike,
but he began looking at it as either gaijin overconfidence in it not been stolen or too much faith in the idea that Japanese
didn't steal things.
Worldwide,Japanese were respected for their honesty and humbleness,but BD began seething as what he really believed was
the cultural mindset.You could do anything you wanted as long as you weren't caught,"including petty theft," he bitterly said aloud.
BD trudged the ten minute walk home downcast.He felt himself hovering between not having fixed the broken lock and how had it been stolen.
"Shoganai na," he surprisingly caught himself saying,as he opened the refrigerator door to get out the kocha.
Then BD laughed.And if to make certain,he looked at his skin complexion and saw that he was still yellow,though a trifle paler he thought or was it hoped ?
BD sat down and flicked through the cable channels,not at all interested in bad news, because he already had his own.
Then he came upon a kind of animation program.That was a first for him in Japan.He had been looking a bit at anime magazines this week,but
BD hadn't looked at any cartoons in about ten years.But being badly in need of some light entertainment, from his encroaching,unfavorable thoughts,
choose to have a look.Very soon,BD, though desperately limited in his understanding, was able to enjoy the program with its visual,normal effects.
It reminded him so much of The Simpsons,albeit Japanese style.The setting looked a pretty long time ago in Japan,with none of the gadgetry
and technological whatnot that people today used.
BD settled down to watch,amused that something kind of positive had taken his mind off losing his bike.It also crossed his mind that unlocked ones wouldn't have been stolen back in these days either.

SKIN DEEP:

It was about five minutes later,when BD had watched enough,to see that internationally,
things were much worse than in Japan,leaving him to count his blessings in appreciation.He was
happy that Anna hadn't been around to hear his thoughts.But BD looked at it from the standpoint
that he cared.That's why he was feeling so passionate.But before he could become fully immersed
in Japanese society,BD felt he would need to go to a type of finishing school to straighten out the decidely rough
edges.He wondered if to study something cultural to help.He had only done a couple of trips to temples
and shrines,but the intentions weren't so pure.They were for dates and to kill two birds with one stone.
First,less expenditure from his own pocket,for the date and to impress with his interest in Japanese culture.
Looking back, BD didn't like some of the things about himself even more.
To try and cleanse his mind,BD went for a walk and also to take stock of himself.
But he wasn't able to only look at the positive side of being a "so-called" Japanese.Could he be truly happy ?
He'd have to forsake everything that he had known and people he knew,if he remained as he was.Though distanced from
his family, they were still that.The mental anguish of not only being an outsider in Japan,but also having no real family
to go to, gave him some serious grief.
Looking up at the almost,clear blue sky in desperation,BD almost walked into a mother,talking on her cell phone,whilst
riding her bicycle.She gave him a dagger look as if it were to say his fault, they almost crashed into each other.BD offered up an apology,
to which he received another look of disdain.
BD shook his head as he saw her ride off,with her two young children, in the front and back seats of the bike.He suddenly felt
like an old traditional soul,being like older people do when complaining about the children of today.BD felt too tired to even bitch about
her behavior to himself.He felt a que sera,sera moment and somehow was able to smile.He suddenly stopped and was about to turn
around to walk back home.He had done a twenty minute walk around his neighborhood and was feeling bored with his endless,
non conclusive thoughts,when on looking into the convenience store,he stopped dead in his tracks.He had seen a kind of reflection of
his old self in the shop window.BD squinted harder to make sure,but it had seemingly gone.BD stood outside the window smiling
uncontrollably.
But his spirits were risen only for a short time,
due to his 'Doubting Thomas' persona.Was it for real ? Had the hot,summer weather shown him his own mirage ?
BD longed to be positive and forward looking.Despite walking past the various shops on his way home,he couldn't catch it again.

SKIN DEEP

BD in a mentally,frazzled stupor had completely forgotten that Anna had told him that she
was going to work today."Man,I'm bakabon," he cursed himself aloud in a half joking,half serious way.
Thoughts of Anna having gone to see Malcolm,had paranoially flashed into his head for a split second.
He still felt the same reaction emotionally as he would have as a gaijin.The difference he reckoned,
was in the showing of his feelings.Being a Japanese,he was able to contain his feelings better,in the
less expressive,demonstrative way.He understood being in control of your emotions was important,or
they would control you,which wouldn't be good.However, how many times had he read about a person,
quiet as a church mouse,one day go to his former or current place of employment and wreak havoc.
What always seemed to be the first thing people said ? He,since it generally was a male,had been a model worker,
never taken a day off,blah,blah,blah.Yet....
BD put on some shorts and went to get his newspaper from the letterbox.His late sleeping in was so unJapanese,
that of recent he had been feeling a bit guilty.Even though he was sleeping more as a Japanese,he had retained
the foreign aspect of getting up late.BD tried to put a spin on it to convince himself that for now,it was ok,since
he was in an adjustment phase of his life.But barely had that thought entered his head,on playing it back to himself,
he realized that it sounded pretty pathetic and dismissed that notion quickly.
But after putting his feet up for a good read,he was to quickly become disappointed with what he was reading.Another money
scandal was dominating the front pages for all the wrong reasons.The last one had barely been digested properly.But what irked
BD was the contrasting results of the two scandals.The young,brash owner got his come-uppance,whereas the old boys club protected
the other mainstream company,with a token slap on the wrist.
"Where's the outrage, the anger ?" BD said out aloud,as if he were asking someone." Then he remembered that nail proverb of what happens
if you're too flashy."Must of being created to keep upstarts in their place."
Then BD began to think deeply."What does it mean to be Japanese ?" For a man, he assumed it was to get a good education,marry a decent woman,
have a child,work for a respectable company,play your position in the office and not rock the boat,with the reward of a job for life.Then collect your
pension money.Try to interact with your wife again, after having been married to your job in the meantime.And if you were a big shot,you had the
Amakudari to fall back on,though it's just to pick up a paycheck job.
BD shook his head in sadness.Was this really what he had to look forward to if he remained as he were, minus the descent from heaven job ?
Though BD admired some of the personality traits of Japanese,the timidity wasn't one of them.Could it have been the two nuclear bombs during the
war that caused it or the economic bubble of before,having burnt so many people,that they took a vow never to stand out ever again ?
BD laughed when he thought of sporting events,particularly international ones and how a medalist would be feted and lionized,but that was ok.
Standing out in business or standing out in sports,is that really so different ? It was a tough culture,particularly if you were dealing with the righteous wrong.
Tired of thinking and reading about something that wasn't his problem,he switched on the tv,to hear the international bad news instead.

SKIN DEEP: Final Chapter

BD rolled over to reach for the clock.He wasn't sure of the time,but with
the sun peeping through the curtains,he knew it wasn't the crack of dawn either.
On seeing the time showing eleven fifteen,BD calculated that his sleep had lasted
for ten hours.He marveled at how long he had slept,because when he was a gaijin、
the only way he could have slept that long would have been if he had drunk up a storm
and passed out.
BD was surprised because at the izakaya,he'd only drunk one nama.He could have had
more,but decided not to.His conditioning was much better, because his face hadn't broken
into the bright red beacon like previously.Then a more serious thought entered his realm of thinking.
Meeting that Malcolm was hard enough,but to then have to hear him rub it in,had perplexed BD.Yet he
wasn't absolutely sure.The way and tone of Malcolm's speaking didn't seem to have any edge on it,but
was that last sentence a not too subtle slap at him or not.BD had played it in his head so much,while
he was lying in bed,that it had put him to sleep.It seemed it was about to start up again,when his internalized,
compartmental button went into action as if to say that he'd been thinking about that more than enough so
move on.And like that he switched gears.BD was grateful and jumped up out of bed.He thought to go to the gym
and have a bath.He liked the gym's bath which was spacious and soothing,but instead opted for a home one,
despite the cramped size.
BD was pleased that he had some time alone.It was funny that at times when Anna wasn't with him,he'd feel lonely,
but there were still times,where having his own time,felt good.
"Another day,Another lost dollar," he said aloud.Though living in Japan,it didn't have the same effect by changing
dollar to yen,but the reality was he was losing by not working.He began thinking of his plight and for the first time in
days began to feel afraid.Afraid of staying how he was,trapped and in effect isolated from not only the non real world
that Japan provided to gaijin,but from the world at large.
Though knowing and understanding Anna better through what had happened was beneficial,but what about himself ?
BD knew that he had just the other day been thinking that he could remain as he was,but sometimes when the reality meets the daydream
they don't match up.And BD wasn't only thinking of just this situation.
BD looked at his life as one huge daydream, that now as Tuesday approached was about to get woken up,the hard way.
BD began to feel that familiar paranoia when things looked rocky and with each passing second,it became deeper.
BD wanted to release his fears,but to who and how ?Talking wouldn't solve anything,this wasn't a war.Well,maybe the war within himself,
the battle of whether he was a gaijin or a Japanese.BD didn't want to care about whether he was this or that anything.He just wanted to live.Not
just any old life,but a contributing one,not as an oxygen thief.That was so easy to do as he had been doing.
Then BD suddenly stopped his thinking.Standing there in the buff,he realised that Anna wasn't there.

SKIN DEEP

There was an almost deathly stop on the spot,first by Anna and then by BD,who had seemed to have lost co-ordination of his feet.
His movement hadn't been able to translate to his brain quick enough that there was an upcoming issue to deal with.
He awkwardly stepped back waiting for someone or something to break the obvious tension that was in the air.Anna answered the call.
"Hi" She said cheerfully."How are you Malcolm ?"
Malcolm looked pretty nervous himself,unsure on who to focus his eyes on.But manners dictated replying to the question.
"I'm cool,thanks.Yourself ?"
"Fine,thank you.You remember BD ?" Anna delicately asked.
"Sure,how you going mate ?" Malcolm friendly said.
Despite how he felt within,BD could feel himself sorting out his various emotional compartments internally,in order to be sufficiently
adjusted enough to give a cordial answer.He knew it was long-winded,but a cultural educating,necessity.
"Pretty good.And you ?"
"No complaints."
Aside from the people walking past them,there was little other action as no-one knew what to say,especially since their respective thought processes
were wondering how to leave gracefully.
"As I said to you on the phone,thanks again for helping me out of that jam," BD said humbly.
Malcolm tried to brush it off as just doing his job,downplaying the significance of what he'd done.They managed to have an awkward,but passable
minute conversation but on leaving, Malcolm offered up,
"All the best to the two of you and look after her BD alright ?"
BD tensed up a bit at that obvious dig at him,but he just nodded his head and started walking off.
Anna looked a last glance at Malcolm and went after BD.He was moving quite briskly and she had to do a little trot to keep up.On catching up she asked,
"Are you alright ?" She asked worriedly.
"What do you mean ?" BD replied,still looking ahead and walking at the same pace.
"You know," Anna said."His last sentence."
"What about it ?"
Anna considered dropping the topic,but she didn't want BD to keep it in and when the mood took him,he'd used it.That's supposed to be only for woman to do.
"You're fine about everything then ?"
"Well, do you want the tatamae or the honne answer ?" BD stopped sharply and asked her.
Anna was a little startled by BD's manner,but answered "honne."
"I have no problems with what happened.I could thank him in person,so I'm fine.Why do you think anything different ?"
Anna read between the lines and let it go.She realised that there had been some friction,but he'd handled in a very Japanese way.She smirked to herself
when he had brought up the tatamae and honne question."Hen na gai..," she began to herself,then hesitated.She wasn't sure again if BD was a foreigner or Japanese,
but maybe it was the Japanese who were.
There had been a shyness between the two men's exchange.Anna guiltily looked at it as her doing.BD was to later tell her, that it was an
unspoken recognition of an unfortunate,unplanned,three way relationship.
They quietly walked to the izakaya alone with their own thoughts.