I drove through the drive-in window at McSomething-or-other and asked for a triple cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake. Before I got out of the parking lot, my daughter slurped a sip of the shake.
“This is vanilla,” she said. I turned on the map light and saw the creamy mixture was the color of a Rocky Mountain avalanche.
I parked and went inside. “I ordered a chocolate shake,” I said. The woman behind the counter took the milkshake, threw it away and started making another concoction. I watched thick chalk-white liquid spiral from the machine. “I wanted chocolate!” I pleaded.
“This is chocolate,” she said.
“It’s white, and my daughter said it tastes like vanilla,” I assured her.
She smiled and stood her ground. “It’s chocolate.”
“Let me get this straight,” I said. “It looks like vanilla and tastes like vanilla, but its chocolate?”
“That’s right,” she said.
I wanted to say, “So when you run out of hamburgers, do you sell people hotdogs and say ‘This looks like a hotdog and tastes like a hotdog, but it’s a hamburger?’” But I didn’t say anything. I just got my money back, and went to McSomewhere-else.
And I thought about how often some people rely on folks being just about that gullible. Try to make us believe things that don’t quite add up.
Awhile back I noticed a bumper sticker that said, “Space is the future.” Assuming that means outer space, I don’t get it.
I’m not a jaded skeptic who snarls, “So what?” every time a space shuttle is launched. But I’m not a wide-eyed enthusiast who drools and says, “Wow!”
I’ll admit that the Armstrong-and-Aldrin walk on the moon was amazing. And the Pathfinder mission to Mars was interesting. More recently, a new planet has been discovered. It’s said to be among the most Earthlike worlds and could have the temperature to support life, with liquid water on its surface. So we’re supposed to believe that soon Americans will be living in space.
I’m left wondering, “Why would we want to?” Anybody who has driven across the USA can tell you there’s more than enough desolate land right here at home. If we’re eager to settle uninhabitable land, seems we should start with the vast barren landscape of Wyoming, Arizona and South Dakota. I’ve seen the Red Planet pictures, and they make the Badlands look lush.
But if we do happen to settle on the moon, or Mars, or the new planet Eris, I hope I’m on the planning commission. There are certain things I’d insist on from the start. First, I’d make sure there was a fast-food franchise with golden arches. And I’d demand that the chocolate milkshakes were chocolate.
“This is vanilla,” she said. I turned on the map light and saw the creamy mixture was the color of a Rocky Mountain avalanche.
I parked and went inside. “I ordered a chocolate shake,” I said. The woman behind the counter took the milkshake, threw it away and started making another concoction. I watched thick chalk-white liquid spiral from the machine. “I wanted chocolate!” I pleaded.
“This is chocolate,” she said.
“It’s white, and my daughter said it tastes like vanilla,” I assured her.
She smiled and stood her ground. “It’s chocolate.”
“Let me get this straight,” I said. “It looks like vanilla and tastes like vanilla, but its chocolate?”
“That’s right,” she said.
I wanted to say, “So when you run out of hamburgers, do you sell people hotdogs and say ‘This looks like a hotdog and tastes like a hotdog, but it’s a hamburger?’” But I didn’t say anything. I just got my money back, and went to McSomewhere-else.
And I thought about how often some people rely on folks being just about that gullible. Try to make us believe things that don’t quite add up.
Awhile back I noticed a bumper sticker that said, “Space is the future.” Assuming that means outer space, I don’t get it.
I’m not a jaded skeptic who snarls, “So what?” every time a space shuttle is launched. But I’m not a wide-eyed enthusiast who drools and says, “Wow!”
I’ll admit that the Armstrong-and-Aldrin walk on the moon was amazing. And the Pathfinder mission to Mars was interesting. More recently, a new planet has been discovered. It’s said to be among the most Earthlike worlds and could have the temperature to support life, with liquid water on its surface. So we’re supposed to believe that soon Americans will be living in space.
I’m left wondering, “Why would we want to?” Anybody who has driven across the USA can tell you there’s more than enough desolate land right here at home. If we’re eager to settle uninhabitable land, seems we should start with the vast barren landscape of Wyoming, Arizona and South Dakota. I’ve seen the Red Planet pictures, and they make the Badlands look lush.
But if we do happen to settle on the moon, or Mars, or the new planet Eris, I hope I’m on the planning commission. There are certain things I’d insist on from the start. First, I’d make sure there was a fast-food franchise with golden arches. And I’d demand that the chocolate milkshakes were chocolate.
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