GetUpEnglishでは、ネイティブ添削の「英語便」(http://www.eigobin.com/)のすぐれたサービスを何度も紹介してきましたが、今も変わらず和文英訳や作家のインタビュー記事のチェックなどで大いにお世話になっております。
GetUpEnglishでは、今日11月14日(月)18日(金)の5日間、英語便のサービスをご紹介したいと思います。
19日(土)にはプレゼントのお知らせもあります。どうかそちらもご期待ください。
では、「英語便」特集第1日目の今日は、「英米作家へのインタビュー記事」の例をご紹介します。
わたしは2007年にトム・コーウィン『ぼくのだいじなボブ』(Tom Corwin, Mostly Bob)本を翻訳出版しました。
http://bookclub.kodansha.co.jp/product?isbn=9784062138000
その際に、著者トム・コーウィンにインタビューしたのですが、それは日本語で発表しただけですので、英語の細部にそれほどこだわる必要はありませんでした。
しかし、ほぼ十年ぶりに当時のインタビューを振り返ってみて、英文でもしっかりした形で残したいと思いました。また、トム・コーウィンはミュージシャンでもあり、Mostly BobというBob Dylanのトリビュート・アルバムを制作した人でもあります。ディランがノーベル文学賞を受賞したので、このインタビューはタイムリーだと思います。
そんなことがあり、英語便にこのインタビュー記事にあるわたしの英語の質問部分をこのたびチェックしてもらいました。英語の使い方はもちろん、interviewerのあり方も教えてくれる非常にありがたい添削が戻され、大変感激しております。
本日のGetUpEnglishでは、英語便が添削してくれた上杉のAn Interview with Tom Corwinをご紹介します。(英語便の許可を得て、添削記事をそのまま転載します)
01.Tom Corwin , Producer of Mostly Dylan |
02. Interviewed by Hayato Uesugi, Editor/Translator |
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04.AN INTERVIEW WITH TOM CORWIN |
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07.Q1: First, would you tell us about the making of MOSTLY DYLAN? |
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10.Q2: What about the musicians joining who participated in MOSTLY DYLAN: George Marinelli, Rickie Fataar, and others musicians ―Michael Rodriguez, Randy Quan, Jimmy Sanchez, Jerry Cortez, Peter Booras, Garrin Benfeild? Their playing in performances on the CD are amazing. Needless to say, the performances of Tim Hockenberry and Bonnie Raitt and yourself here could not have been greater, too better, either . Could you briefly introduce them and their playing abilities ? |
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12.Q3: MOSTLY DYLAN is a tribute album to Bob Dylan, with a new perspective on his songs , by you and Tim Hockenberry. It is the of Dylan by the two of you. Ten songs of that on the album are Dylan’s, but you include two of your own original songs, “Two Steps Back” and “Flirting With Disaster”. The two songs seem to be like songs Dylanesque wrote , but they have genuine originality, too. They are magnetic! |
13.How did you manage decide to put the two songs into onto this CD? Your choice made for a great result, but I’m wondering whether you wrestled with that choice. |
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15.Q4: What does Bob Dylan and his music mean to you? What is it in Dylan that has intrigued you? His music attracts people from all over the world. In addition, his lyrics make us think a lot. Some people have recently said he should get the Nobel Prize for Literature for his lyrics. Are you intrigued by his lyrics as well as his music? |
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17.Q5: You launched your label MOSTLY with this CD. And this MOSTLY DYLAN is the first in a series of editions that will feature new perspectives on legendary artists. Do you have concrete future plans now? |
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20.Q6: The jacket cover of MOSTLY DYLAN is really nice . Who designed it? |
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23.Q7: After many years of recording and performing as a bass player and vocalist with a variety of artists including Patti LaBelle, Booker T., Bonnie Raitt and the House of Blues band, you chose to focus your attention on producing and recording. Can you tell us about your activities as a musician in those days and as a producer now? |
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25.Q8: What about your own music background. Where did you learn how to play music and ? |
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28.Q9: Do you have some any favorite musician or musicians? |
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30.Q10: I heard you have had some experiences of playing here in Japan. You played at Tokyo Blue Note as a member of the Booker T. band in 1998. Please tell us about the shows and your impression of Japanese audiences. |
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32.Q11: You published MOSTLY BOB just after MOSTLY DYLAN had been completed. Bob was still alive while you were making MOSTLY DYLAN and I am quite sure Bob enjoyed listening to the sound you guys were making. Can you tell us something about Bob? |
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オレンジ:スペルミス/紫:変更されたワード/赤:付加された必要ワード/緑:不必要なワード/青:意味が解りづらいもの/不自然な言い回し/青緑 : Impressive!(自然/クリエイティブな表現) |
先生からのコメント
01. The comma should be positioned directly after the previous word. A space should then be left before the start of the following word. |
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10. Use 'who' as the conjunction between clauses when the second clause refers to a person or people introduced in the first clause. "He is the man who spoke to John." |
The verb 'join' refers only to the moment when a person decides to 'join' the group. Thereafter, that person is a member of the group, or a participant in the activity the group has been set up for. In this case, it's better to use the verb 'participate.' |
It's not necessary to use 'musicians' again here. It's already understood from information given earlier that musicians are being referred to. It would be far more natural to a native speaker to just say 'others' here. |
While we understand that these musicians are playing on the CD, when we look back on what they did, we generally talk in terms of their overall 'performance.' |
The preposition 'on' is used with music or songs 'on' a CD. |
The plural of 'be' is needed to agree with multiple people. |
Nice use of 'needless to say' here. The phrase "it goes without saying" could also have been used. |
The comparative 'better' is needed here. |
Use 'either' at the end of the sentence where an agreeing thought is being expressed (I don't like tennis and I don't like golf, either). |
Perhaps it's better to use 'abilities' when referring to what they can do. |
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12. Too many unnecessary words are being used in the second comment. It would be more natural to add the 'new perspective on' phrase to the first comment. The same point is now made, using far fewer words than in the original. Structuring a comment or question in such a way is important in an interview situation, as there's nothing worse than an interviewer who speaks too much. |
Use the preposition 'on' again here, along with 'the' to refer to the album. We can use 'this' or 'the' to refer to the album under discussion, but the sudden use of 'that' would suggest there is a different album being mentioned as well. |
Using the one word 'Dylanesque' which means 'in the manner of Dylan' would be a great way to make the point while using far fewer words. |
13. The interviewer is referring to a 'decision' here; they decided to do this. |
Songs are recorded 'onto' CD. |
Great comment. Excellent use of 'wrestle with' here. |
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15. Dylan is one person and the music belongs to him, so use the 3rd person singular here (what does). |
Good question with good use of 'intrigue.' |
Add the preposition 'from' before 'all over the world.' |
The key point is that these comments were made 'recently' so this adverb should be placed just before the verb 'said' in the sentence. |
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17. 'Of editions' is not needed here. 'The first in a series' is enough detail. |
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20. While we understand the meaning of 'jacket' in this sense, the common name is 'cover.' A CD has a cover. |
'Really nice' is a little simplistic in tone. We might instead comment on its originality or unique artwork or something else more specifically related to the cover. |
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23. Nice comments here. Good information and a good build-up to the question that comes next. |
The common phrase is 'in those days.' 'At that time' could also be used. |
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25. Again, making this into one question would be the natural method here. |
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28. We need to use 'any' in a question. Use 'some' in a plural statement (I have some books) or when using an uncountable noun (I have some beer). |
We would almost certainly never separate the singular from the plural here. By using 'musicians' it would automatically be understood that this refers to all musicians, whether solo artists or groups. |
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30. These experiences are countable, so the plural is needed, along with 'some' (as mentioned above in line 28). |
People have experience 'of' doing something. The preposition 'of' is needed. |
This would be one single overall impression, so use the singular form here. |
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Hello, and thank you for this composition. You have written really well and used some great phrasings and expressions. |
Best wishes. |
Andrew. |
そして、この英語便の記事を修正した完全版インタビューを、以下に掲載します。
http://blog.goo.ne.jp/getupenglish/e/4105f21569d7b8d72499e079aebec7af